"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Saturday, October 3, 2009

The truth is out there

'I'm not a stats man. I score runs for my country and when I come out, all I am focused on, is winning the game. All these milestones are very nice, but they don't motivate me. I guess I'll look at it after my career is over and enjoy them'.

Sounds familiar? Punter was not the only one who said it after surpassing 12,000 ODI runs last night. Jakes said it, Sachin said it, Lara said it, Gavaskar said it...hell I'm pretty sure even Border said it! Or maybe not. Which is fine because they don't really mean it, you know. It's the standard answer written for them by their PR managers.

I'm not asking them to be arrogant, but for God's sakes don't lie to us! For once, just for once, I would like a player to be like " YES! I loved it very much! I am fucking dancing up and down with joy and would like to achieve many more milestones! But my country comes first of course".

Sure, I'll be the first one to call them glory-hunters, but they HAVE worked very hard on these achievements. They should at least be allowed to say that they enjoyed it and not relegate it to some end of career afterthought. Hello! There are only eight players to have scored 10,000+ Test runs. Eight. Out of hundreds! That deserves a Spring Break in Florida type of celebration!

Another thing that majorly annoys me is the diplomacy of captains when their teams suck miserably. They look for positives like, 'Oh that over, where we gave only 15 runs, that was something to take away from this game!'.
Not it was not. You are going to go to the change room in a few minutes and scream your lungs silly. Why not just say it?
" I have a SHIT team and I am fucking going to kill them all. I am also going to chastise myself with a whip for being a disgusting captain. And oh, the opponent team did not outplay us. They only won because we were too busy playing backyard cricket instead of real cricket. We'll expose them soon."

Of course, this is not in reference to any series in particular...:)

I should really become a cricket speech writer and save the fans from all the woefully repetitive, fake answers. We are not dumb. The truth is out there and Mulder has already shoved it down our throats.


Stani Army said...

Players are not allowed to use the filth you use (e.g. the F word). They are also more humble than you may think. Just because you would think and say that doesn't mean everyone else must.

...not that you'd achieve any milestones though.

Purna said...

Did you just say players are not allowed to use the F word? So I'm guessing when they show their frustration by mouthing something that looks like 'fuck' they are actually not using the F word. The F word being filth.

Just because you wouldn't achieve any milestones doesn't mean nobody else will.

Stani Army said...

I'm talking about in interviews bird brain which is what your post was about. Heard of context? Do you even read your own posts?

And however much they swear on the pitch, it can't be as much as you just have in your Cauliflower butt niggle post.


Purna said...

No I don't read them. I don't write them either.

What do you have against the F word? It's just a word.