Well, it's over

I am not completely saddened by the result or the ending of this tournament. It's not because of cricket overkill or because I have suddenly started liking the Poms. It's because the winning moment came off the bat of the Englishman I can tolerate (as a cricketer strictly) and the Aussie bowler I would like to vanquish from this Earth. That was the only part of Michael Clarke's captaincy I was grateful for- making sure that the winning runs came off the petulant brat.

I am also glad it's over because the tournament has strangely been like the La Liga, only two teams dominating all the rest. The quality of cricket, I think we can all agree, has been subpar and this time, it's actually because barring the two finalists, the rest sucked balls. I don't think at any moment, any of us didn't know what the outcome of the game was going to be, unless two horribly out-of-form teams were playing. Okay, maybe the Kiwis were the only exception. I thought they should have made the semis.

For me, only three matches were really interesting to watch - SL vs NZ, NZ vs Pak and the Aus vs Pak semi. The rest put me to sleep and I actually got to watch these matches during the day at decent hours. If you didn't really care who won the finals (I did care, but not so much), it wasn't fun to watch either. But it could also be because I had to drive two hours in traffic and only got to watch England bat. Watching Dirk Nannes not take wickets is painful. Kieswetter's wicket abated my pain slightly though. What a fucking embarrassing way to get out! I loved it!

KP was magnificent but I never enjoy watching him doing well. I did like this ridiculous picture though:

I also enjoyed bloody Nasser saying 'Surely, even England can screw it up from here', when they required 29 runs to win. Oh these Poms! They never believe in themselves!

I can understand why they get along so well with them South Africans.

A typical England-SA limited overs game

South Africa fucked up big time in a run chase. It's not the tournament, their chasing skills are on a hiatus.

Kevin Pietersen killed. Rainbow colours make him angry.

Buffalo played a part in KP's dismissal.

The Poms stole the magic potion that gives Saffers their fielding power and shoved the empty bottles down their throats.

Morne got a wicket off a no ball. Morne then proceeded to produce some more no-balls.

Barbie misbehaved with the umpire (I never get tired of this).

A Saffa took a fabulous catch and the commentators couldn't stop talking about him.

A Saffa dropped an easy catch.

Eoin Morgan made the Saffers suffer.

South Africa humuliated themselves and made a few non-bowlers look like bowlers in the process.

A Pom took extra pleasure in calling Buffalo a losing captain twice and Colly the winning captain.

South Africa's fate now partially depends on some other team.

English fans are scared that the team is doing too well and Saffa fans are pissed that their team is on the brink of yet another exit from a ICC tournament.

Attention Mike Procter

This is exclusively from the English camp through an interview with Skysports (just in case someone thought I am making this up).

Skysports.com: The first Pro20 international is still a fortnight away but we now know the make-up of both squads. Have the South African selectors got it right?

Follicularly challenged Nasser: I was a bit surprised by Herschelle Gibbs' omission, I have to say. I think the Herschelle Gibbs' of this world come around once a decade. Yes, he will frustrate, he will get out cheaply - but that's the nature of the person and the role that he plays. But in the same way that Mickey Arthur has been saying he's relieved not to see Harmison in England's one-day side, I think Andy Flower can quite happily say England are happy not to have Herschelle Gibbs on the opposition. South Africa will miss his fielding and his energy as well as his batting - as will the fans. As someone who is going out there to cover the tour it's disappointing. Yes he'll miss out in a few games but you know that in one of them he'll set the world alight. South Africa must have some mighty fine cricketers if they are leaving Herschelle Gibbs out!

So apparently the English get it and the Saffers don't. I don't understand why he was dropped. He played in only one ODI since their return from the break that lasted all of eternity. Speaking of which, who the fuck came up with this idea? The Proteas deserved the break, but FOUR FUCKING MONTHS? Sounds like something Graeme Smith thought out. Interestingly, he also met his girlfriend during this break. If that is not proof, I don't know what is.

If Herschelle has been dropped based on his performance in the Champions League, Mike Proctor is a giant ass! SERIOUSLY? You lost patience with him based on a domestic T20 tournament, where he ended up scoring decently in the big match. Does Procter actually have a brain or is it a peanut that's residing in his skull?

I am desperate to watch Herschelle play. I will kill myself if the Poms win the ODI's because no one was able to replace Gibbs at the top. On second thought, before I resort to killing I should seek out Michael Hussey and ask him for the potion that he gave his selectors, which made them keep him in the team. If Mussey can't get dropped even after reaching new levels of shit batting, because he is Mr. Cricket, somebody please explain to me the justification behind dropping Hersch.

I'm so tired of hating. But what to do? Fools like Procter continue to make stupid decisions that aggravate me. That and I am a born hater. According to some.