Life is a cycle. Hence upon coming back to life I quickly died for a second time, because people thought a very good welcome back news would be that of Bhajji scoring a test century. It was instant death. No time for goodbyes. Hell not even time for the last gasp. Shame on you!
Australia is also in a cycle. It's called the shit cycle. Sometimes the cycle breaks because really shit is not circular. Shit just piles on and makes things shittier. I don't mean excretory materials, I mean shit that happens. But when you yourself are the shit that happens to...yourself, what can you really do? Think about that sentence long and hard. It's not that complicated. It basically means Australia had a fabulous third Ashes test series again and Mitchell Johnson was the main reason behind it. He swore at the press, Australia became all cocky again and England crumbled. Sounds familiar? No children, your life is not in repeat. Australia is. The only factor that's different here is that the next test is a Boxing Day test, and Australia have never lost those. I say never because I am too lazy to do research. But I am sure it borders on never. But does that really change anything? England is still the better team. Please do not ask me to explain that sentence. I've already ripped my heart into pieces typing that.
Not everybody is going around in cycles. Kallis just broke his cycle of getting close to the 200 mark and jumped right through it. I didn't know if it (what else did you expect?) till I went to Cricinfo and saw a picture of Kallis' hair. By now the picture has become legendary, so I won't bother putting it on here. But I will tell you that I actually started reading the caption because I thought Kallis had batted for so long that he had actually started growing hair. I mean it's Christmas time and he is 36. One of these days Santa had to give the boy what he really wanted right? It was only then that I realized that he had actually batted to 200 runs, not 200 days. I celebrated his achievement by brushing my own hair.
He has inspired me to break this cycle of absence that I have been stuck in lately. We will take it one day at a time. Don't get your hopes up, but know that I am trying.
In case I am gone for a long time, I will leave you with this very thought-provoking question: Am I Mitchell Johnson?
Showing posts with label The Ashes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Ashes. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Steven Finn
I am about to make yet another traitorous confession: I like Steven Finn. And not because I foresee him crumbling under the pressure of being a frontline English pace bowler. I genuinely like him.
The fact that I also like Jimmy Anderson might have already told you that I have a thing for quality pace bowlers. Jimmy isn't always that fast, but I remember when he first came to the scene people were more excited about his looks and Beckhamish hair than his bowling. He didn't live upto the hype of course but then he learned to swing the ball and all of a sudden Jimmy was a new bowler. I like the fact that he failed, learned his lesson and came back with a bang.
Steven Finn is the man of the hour so I'm pretty sure I don't have to repeat his heroics from the last two days. I saw him bowl and I was pretty impressed with his ability to make the batsman play. Of course this is Division Two so I find all this excitement surrounding him and the Ashes a bit premature. However, he did pretty okay against Bangladesh. Took wickets, had a decent economic rate...basically fulfilled his duties as a backup bowler. But the Aussies are pretty pissed at the Poms so they may just kill the newbie. And that can't be good. Specially for me, since I am rarely excited about English pace bowlers.
But so far, I like Steven Finn only for his bowling as he is yet to screw up as per Pommie tradition and make a comeback. Which means, I don't like him that much. Just the right amount for me to not bitch about him like I do about Broad. No wait, I bitch about Broad because I really dislike him and he is not a bowler.
This is confusing.
Let's just leave it at, I like Steven Finn. Fullstop.
The fact that I also like Jimmy Anderson might have already told you that I have a thing for quality pace bowlers. Jimmy isn't always that fast, but I remember when he first came to the scene people were more excited about his looks and Beckhamish hair than his bowling. He didn't live upto the hype of course but then he learned to swing the ball and all of a sudden Jimmy was a new bowler. I like the fact that he failed, learned his lesson and came back with a bang.
Steven Finn is the man of the hour so I'm pretty sure I don't have to repeat his heroics from the last two days. I saw him bowl and I was pretty impressed with his ability to make the batsman play. Of course this is Division Two so I find all this excitement surrounding him and the Ashes a bit premature. However, he did pretty okay against Bangladesh. Took wickets, had a decent economic rate...basically fulfilled his duties as a backup bowler. But the Aussies are pretty pissed at the Poms so they may just kill the newbie. And that can't be good. Specially for me, since I am rarely excited about English pace bowlers.
But so far, I like Steven Finn only for his bowling as he is yet to screw up as per Pommie tradition and make a comeback. Which means, I don't like him that much. Just the right amount for me to not bitch about him like I do about Broad. No wait, I bitch about Broad because I really dislike him and he is not a bowler.
This is confusing.
Let's just leave it at, I like Steven Finn. Fullstop.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Boo Dale
Where is the Barmy Army? I thought they travelled far and wide to support their team and I am sure a few of them have reached Saffaland. I saw them waving their flags. Unless they were relatives of Trott, KP, Strauss, Prior...oh fuck it! Need we go over the list again and again? Relatives of the Poms. There, that covers it.
I want them there, I need them there. To boo Dale. Boo him till his shittiness is drilled into his head. Why? Because of Mitchell Johnson at the Ashes that's why.
He got written about, booed at, made fun of, abused at Lords. After which he was fanfuckingtastic in the fourth test. He wanted to shut the world up and the Barmy Army instigated that. They were there in SA's tour of England last year, where Dale ripped through the Poms batting. It may have also been because he was in form then, but I firmly believe the Army helped.
I want the Barmy Army to call Dale a chipmunk with peanut brains.
I want them to tell Dale his grand kids have disowned him.
I want them to dress up as Dave Warner in a bunny costume and imply that the only reason Dale takes his wicket is because he has an amorous relationship with him.
Then I want to watch Dale do this:
So come on Barmy Army! Put your thinking caps on and boo Dale! Chop chop!
I want them there, I need them there. To boo Dale. Boo him till his shittiness is drilled into his head. Why? Because of Mitchell Johnson at the Ashes that's why.
He got written about, booed at, made fun of, abused at Lords. After which he was fanfuckingtastic in the fourth test. He wanted to shut the world up and the Barmy Army instigated that. They were there in SA's tour of England last year, where Dale ripped through the Poms batting. It may have also been because he was in form then, but I firmly believe the Army helped.
I want the Barmy Army to call Dale a chipmunk with peanut brains.
I want them to tell Dale his grand kids have disowned him.
I want them to dress up as Dave Warner in a bunny costume and imply that the only reason Dale takes his wicket is because he has an amorous relationship with him.
Then I want to watch Dale do this:
So come on Barmy Army! Put your thinking caps on and boo Dale! Chop chop!
Monday, September 7, 2009
Ponting the cunning bastard
He has begun plotting his revenge against England. It began by him backing out on his initial statement about this being the last Ashes series he will play in England. He then went back home, spent time with his lovely wife and daughter and realized that beating the Pommies in their own backyard means more to him then watching is daughter grow up. That's true cricket love.
He has retired from International T20, finally admitting that he is horrible at the format. Let's not kid ourselves. Ponting was crafted to become a captain, it doesn't come naturally to him. With Steve Waugh not around to hold his hand through T20, poor Punter was lost. His batting also took a hit and he plans to use his pitiable form to add to KKR's woes, while preserving himself for the 2013 Ashes. It is a brilliantly thought out evil plan. Because people will lose interest in watching KKR lose continuously and cost Modi a lot of money. That makes my heart beat faster with joy.
(Note to self: get Mortaza transferred from KKR)
Another upside to this news is that we get to see Punter take more hits on his face. It happened in 2005, it happened in 2009 and we are hopeful that it will happen in 2013. An Ashes series in England is incomplete without Ponting shedding blood. It's what makes the Ashes the most mafia-like battle of all.
Either mine or their blood will be on the Ashes trophy
There's also a job opening now that the Oz T20 team is without a captain. I find it hilarious that Michael Clarke is not the automatic choice. According to an article on Cricinfo Ferguson, Haddin, White and Hussey are also contenders. The Australians really don't care much about T20 do they? The day Hussey is known for his T20 skills, I'll know that this format is officially for comic relief only.
He has retired from International T20, finally admitting that he is horrible at the format. Let's not kid ourselves. Ponting was crafted to become a captain, it doesn't come naturally to him. With Steve Waugh not around to hold his hand through T20, poor Punter was lost. His batting also took a hit and he plans to use his pitiable form to add to KKR's woes, while preserving himself for the 2013 Ashes. It is a brilliantly thought out evil plan. Because people will lose interest in watching KKR lose continuously and cost Modi a lot of money. That makes my heart beat faster with joy.
(Note to self: get Mortaza transferred from KKR)
Another upside to this news is that we get to see Punter take more hits on his face. It happened in 2005, it happened in 2009 and we are hopeful that it will happen in 2013. An Ashes series in England is incomplete without Ponting shedding blood. It's what makes the Ashes the most mafia-like battle of all.
Either mine or their blood will be on the Ashes trophyThere's also a job opening now that the Oz T20 team is without a captain. I find it hilarious that Michael Clarke is not the automatic choice. According to an article on Cricinfo Ferguson, Haddin, White and Hussey are also contenders. The Australians really don't care much about T20 do they? The day Hussey is known for his T20 skills, I'll know that this format is officially for comic relief only.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
England in the news
1) When it rains so much that even a freaking 2 hours match has to be canceled, it's time to take cricket away from that ground forever. Although, that would mean taking cricket away from most grounds in England. Why does that not make me sad?
2) Flintoff aims to finish his career with a World Cup win. Yup, they won the Ashes against the shittiest Australian team ever, so that must mean that in two years they will take over the throne from the reigning Champions. Andrew, you forgot your medicine again. Till you take them, please refrain from giving interviews that has the potential to create the same happy effects as illegal drugs in the readers.
Oh also, give him a few months and you will be watching him bowl at 90mph again. I am delighted to announce that Freddie Flintoff will be out of all forms of the game by next summer due to injuries. He sustained them while trying to show off.
The End
2) Flintoff aims to finish his career with a World Cup win. Yup, they won the Ashes against the shittiest Australian team ever, so that must mean that in two years they will take over the throne from the reigning Champions. Andrew, you forgot your medicine again. Till you take them, please refrain from giving interviews that has the potential to create the same happy effects as illegal drugs in the readers.
Oh also, give him a few months and you will be watching him bowl at 90mph again. I am delighted to announce that Freddie Flintoff will be out of all forms of the game by next summer due to injuries. He sustained them while trying to show off.
The End
Monday, August 24, 2009
The New Captain Courageous
You may brand me a traitor after this one, but these are rare times when my cricket sensibilities trump my biased love for Bangladesh and South Africa. I've disliked many a cricketer because they weren't Bangladeshi or Saffa (I know it's unreasonable. That is the definition for bias :P) and dismissed them as rubbish cricketers. I have now been proven wrong. What humbles me is the fact that I have been proven wrong by an Australian, which is a big pill to swallow for any Saffa fan. But I will do it. I will do it because people from down under have shown Biffy a lot of love after his heroic efforts. It's only fair that I reciprocate. Also, I don't like Graeme that much and think that Botha should be captain.
Punter and Biffy have similar stories. Both were touted as wrong choices for captaincy and both hated for their cockiness and insecure behaviour. Both grew up and emerged as leaders under the intense scrutiny of the media. But ultimately, both became heroes. We all know Biffy's story. Jeered at by Aussies, limbs broken by Mitchell Johnson, but still coming out to bat to save the last test match. Biffy was given a standing ovation, which he deserved. However, Ricky has upstaged him in this Ashes series. Because not only did Ricky Ponting take a lot of stick from the English and have his lips split wide open, he became the second captain in the history of Australia to lose the Ashes twice.
Yet, he refuses to question his leadership abilities. That is not arrogance. That is a firm belief in himself because guess what? The dude has a fabulous record captaining Australia. Yes, even my grandmother could have captained the team that had Warne, McGrath, Langer, Gilchrist and Hayden in it. But if that was the case, how did Australia lose the Ashes in 2005? And, how did Australia destroy South Africa in their backyard last season? We love to hate him because it's the easy thing to do...most people dislike Punter. But let's face it. He is an amazing leader and an even more amazing batsman. I honestly have never watched Punter play before last summer because I couldn't be bothered. But shit, that tiny, hairy bastard can bat! The fact that he could break Allan Border's record despite being under the continuous pressure of captaining the former number one team in the world, speaks volumes about his ability.
The main reason behind my empathy for Ricky is the fact that he was the only Aussie player in both the Ashes and the home series against South Africa that fought till death. I remember watching SA thrash the Aussies despite great scores from Punter and Punter only, and then Ricky having to come up to the podium to say how his team fought hard. No they didn't. The only people who fought hard were you and Mitch. But it's great that you don't hate them for their stupidity and continue to lead their sorry asses. It's even more awesome that you can do it twice in a span of 6 months. These are true leadership qualities.
The amount of respect that Ricky Ponting commands is astonishing. He has a FB fan page where English supporters have showed up to apologize to him for their embarrassingly bad behaviour during the series. I glanced through some of the 122 comments in the latest post and I think I came across the word 'respect' about 50 times. Apparently, even the English papers could not help but admire his grit and dignity at the face of defeat. Then again, the English are cunning like that. It could only be because they won.
So here's to Ricky Ponting. I admire your courage and bestow upon you the tag of Captain Courageous. Call me whatever you want but I firmly believe in giving respect where respect is due. Biffy at least had a trophy to cuddle with after all the pain. Ponting...well he doesn't even have the number one position anymore.
Two sides of the same coin?
Ricky with his daughter Emmy
Punter and Biffy have similar stories. Both were touted as wrong choices for captaincy and both hated for their cockiness and insecure behaviour. Both grew up and emerged as leaders under the intense scrutiny of the media. But ultimately, both became heroes. We all know Biffy's story. Jeered at by Aussies, limbs broken by Mitchell Johnson, but still coming out to bat to save the last test match. Biffy was given a standing ovation, which he deserved. However, Ricky has upstaged him in this Ashes series. Because not only did Ricky Ponting take a lot of stick from the English and have his lips split wide open, he became the second captain in the history of Australia to lose the Ashes twice.
Yet, he refuses to question his leadership abilities. That is not arrogance. That is a firm belief in himself because guess what? The dude has a fabulous record captaining Australia. Yes, even my grandmother could have captained the team that had Warne, McGrath, Langer, Gilchrist and Hayden in it. But if that was the case, how did Australia lose the Ashes in 2005? And, how did Australia destroy South Africa in their backyard last season? We love to hate him because it's the easy thing to do...most people dislike Punter. But let's face it. He is an amazing leader and an even more amazing batsman. I honestly have never watched Punter play before last summer because I couldn't be bothered. But shit, that tiny, hairy bastard can bat! The fact that he could break Allan Border's record despite being under the continuous pressure of captaining the former number one team in the world, speaks volumes about his ability.
The main reason behind my empathy for Ricky is the fact that he was the only Aussie player in both the Ashes and the home series against South Africa that fought till death. I remember watching SA thrash the Aussies despite great scores from Punter and Punter only, and then Ricky having to come up to the podium to say how his team fought hard. No they didn't. The only people who fought hard were you and Mitch. But it's great that you don't hate them for their stupidity and continue to lead their sorry asses. It's even more awesome that you can do it twice in a span of 6 months. These are true leadership qualities.
The amount of respect that Ricky Ponting commands is astonishing. He has a FB fan page where English supporters have showed up to apologize to him for their embarrassingly bad behaviour during the series. I glanced through some of the 122 comments in the latest post and I think I came across the word 'respect' about 50 times. Apparently, even the English papers could not help but admire his grit and dignity at the face of defeat. Then again, the English are cunning like that. It could only be because they won.
So here's to Ricky Ponting. I admire your courage and bestow upon you the tag of Captain Courageous. Call me whatever you want but I firmly believe in giving respect where respect is due. Biffy at least had a trophy to cuddle with after all the pain. Ponting...well he doesn't even have the number one position anymore.
Two sides of the same coin?
Ricky with his daughter EmmyFriday, August 21, 2009
The Ashes: Random thoughts 3
-Any team that gives Broad 5 wickets and Swann 2 wicket maidens should go flush themselves down the toilet
-Then again, Broad's bowling coach was once Allan Donald and he is brilliant
-There are far too many wrong umpiring decisions in this series. The umpires really need to take their job more seriously.
-One of these days, Ricky will bite his fingers off, which will end his career. Clarke will then take over and plummet Australia to 10th position. Moral of the story: Ricky, stop biting your germ-infested nails.
-Zulu is coming back to CSA!!! Oh, is this not Ashes related? It's still far more interesting than this lackluster game being stretched by lucky tail-enders and mediocre bowling.
-Then again, Broad's bowling coach was once Allan Donald and he is brilliant
-There are far too many wrong umpiring decisions in this series. The umpires really need to take their job more seriously.
-One of these days, Ricky will bite his fingers off, which will end his career. Clarke will then take over and plummet Australia to 10th position. Moral of the story: Ricky, stop biting your germ-infested nails.
-Zulu is coming back to CSA!!! Oh, is this not Ashes related? It's still far more interesting than this lackluster game being stretched by lucky tail-enders and mediocre bowling.
The Ashes: Random thoughts 2
-Australia didn't have a good day. The only reason they got wickets is because England played shit and Siddle bowled well. So unless they pick up, England might win this.
-If England wins this, it will be the biggest tragedy in the history of test cricket. Why? Because The Poms are shit.
-Swann and Anderson are at war on Twitter. Anderson posted a pic of Swanny stating he has a side profile of a witch to which Swanny replied that Jimmy wet himself today. Here's hoping the Pommies are too distracted by their war to concentrate on..wait..what is it that they are doing right now? Oh yes, playing for the freaking Ashes. Now do you agree that this prestigious cup should not go to these circus clowns?
-Andrew Flintoff is a glory hunter therefore I am very pleased that he got only 7 runs. Kato and Wato must spoil his grand finale further by scoring tons. Not that Wato is capable.
-Cook and Hussey either have suicidal tendencies or are really good entertainers in the change room. Why are they still playing?
-Does nobody realize while shaking hands with Ricky that they have been spit on a million times that day? When he retires, he can consider a career in germ spreading.
-If England wins this, it will be the biggest tragedy in the history of test cricket. Why? Because The Poms are shit.
-Swann and Anderson are at war on Twitter. Anderson posted a pic of Swanny stating he has a side profile of a witch to which Swanny replied that Jimmy wet himself today. Here's hoping the Pommies are too distracted by their war to concentrate on..wait..what is it that they are doing right now? Oh yes, playing for the freaking Ashes. Now do you agree that this prestigious cup should not go to these circus clowns?
-Andrew Flintoff is a glory hunter therefore I am very pleased that he got only 7 runs. Kato and Wato must spoil his grand finale further by scoring tons. Not that Wato is capable.
-Cook and Hussey either have suicidal tendencies or are really good entertainers in the change room. Why are they still playing?
-Does nobody realize while shaking hands with Ricky that they have been spit on a million times that day? When he retires, he can consider a career in germ spreading.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
The Ashes: Random thoughts
I won't do a full post on the Ashes because England is a joke and Australia is South Africa's arch nemesis. But I will share my random thoughts as I watch the game:
-I am excited about the 5th test...been waiting to watch a good test match since SA vs Aus last summer
-Australia seems to get wickets the minute I watch. Collingwood and Bell both fell soon after I sat in front of the television. Must remember this when Oz plays the Saffas and Bdesh.
-Ian Bell's 50 made me throw up first thing in the morning. Ricky Ponting is responsible for my loss of body fluid so early in the day. Must sue.
-I like Siddle. That dude can bowl. Too bad he is Australian.
-Strauss, Prior, Pietersen and Trott were all born in South Africa. They must be renamed as the South Africa B team. Might earn them more respect.
-Lilly Allen is at the game but Onions has been dropped. The cameraman kept the camera poised on her till she waved upon Warnie and Hussain's incessant begging. Warnie really needs to learn how to keep it in his pants.
-Swann...is...still...in...the...team. This time I died from laughter. Strauss and Flower will be compensating my family for the early loss of their beloved daughter.
-I am excited about the 5th test...been waiting to watch a good test match since SA vs Aus last summer
-Australia seems to get wickets the minute I watch. Collingwood and Bell both fell soon after I sat in front of the television. Must remember this when Oz plays the Saffas and Bdesh.
-Ian Bell's 50 made me throw up first thing in the morning. Ricky Ponting is responsible for my loss of body fluid so early in the day. Must sue.
-I like Siddle. That dude can bowl. Too bad he is Australian.
-Strauss, Prior, Pietersen and Trott were all born in South Africa. They must be renamed as the South Africa B team. Might earn them more respect.
-Lilly Allen is at the game but Onions has been dropped. The cameraman kept the camera poised on her till she waved upon Warnie and Hussain's incessant begging. Warnie really needs to learn how to keep it in his pants.
-Swann...is...still...in...the...team. This time I died from laughter. Strauss and Flower will be compensating my family for the early loss of their beloved daughter.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Graeme Swann on Twitter
This really does deserve it's own post. There are oh so many things wrong with this scenario. To begin with Graeme Swann(Swannyg66) has 11,712 followers and giving Jimmy some good competition. Graeme Swann, the most ineffective spin bowler in the history of the game has fans who actually give a shit about what he does on an hour to hour basis. How this nation managed to colonize half of the world I'll never know. And please don't say that the followers can be from other countries as well. I refuse to believe that we live in a world where anyone else, other than the English know/care about Graeme Swann.
Onto his posts. Swann likes to talk about food a lot. His mom cooks him eggs and soldiers when he is sick. Can someone please tell me what soldiers are? Does his mom grab the guards from Buckingham Palace and fry them for her dear Swanny? Maybe that's the secret behind his useless spin bowling. But when mommy isn't there, he eats jelly to kill the bugs. So, Graeme is not just a spin bowler but a medical genius as well. Throw out your antibiotics folks, the jelly soldiers are well equipped to fight your viruses!
Of course if you want to listen to Graeme you also have to cook a pigeon that the cat just brought in. He did wonder whether eating it will be unhealthy...which just may show that he isn't completely insane. But he didn't mention it again, so we will never know what happened next.
A lot of his recent tweets have been about this mysterious illness that he has been suffering from. What will we ever do without knowing that the supposed 24 hours bug lasted three whole days in Swanny's body? It was diagnosed by an INTERNET doctor as Ebola. But just as we are shattered by the news and asking God to cure Swanny he reveals that he ticked the wrong box and it's only athlete's foot. He then wonders where this doctor qualified. Clearly on the heads of imbeciles like you who are fat-headed enough to use his online services. Is this how the English selectors picked Swanny for the Ashes team? They ticked the wrong box on the internet?
Once the mystery has been solved, there is more food talk. Tomato soup followed by strawberry angel delight is the tea of champions. Sounds about right, since no player in the England team actually knows the meaning of the word. But guess what they do know? That breakfast in Transylvanian is vreakfast. I just feel smarter and smarter as I go through his tweets.
The only tweet that interested me was the fact that Andrew Hall, his Northamptonshire team-mate, likes braai a lot. But that was only because Hall is South African and therefore awesome. But if he is friends with Swann I might have to re-think that statement. Andrew if you miss calling someone Graeme that much just give Biff a call. The Proteas are currently in fitness training which means that he is always free. Fitness and Biff don't go together.
Graeme Swann's nickname is apparently Chin because of his big...well chin. Graeme Smith's lower half of the face is also huge. So in conclusion, men named Graeme have big chins. How is that for a random end to a post?
Onto his posts. Swann likes to talk about food a lot. His mom cooks him eggs and soldiers when he is sick. Can someone please tell me what soldiers are? Does his mom grab the guards from Buckingham Palace and fry them for her dear Swanny? Maybe that's the secret behind his useless spin bowling. But when mommy isn't there, he eats jelly to kill the bugs. So, Graeme is not just a spin bowler but a medical genius as well. Throw out your antibiotics folks, the jelly soldiers are well equipped to fight your viruses!
Of course if you want to listen to Graeme you also have to cook a pigeon that the cat just brought in. He did wonder whether eating it will be unhealthy...which just may show that he isn't completely insane. But he didn't mention it again, so we will never know what happened next.
A lot of his recent tweets have been about this mysterious illness that he has been suffering from. What will we ever do without knowing that the supposed 24 hours bug lasted three whole days in Swanny's body? It was diagnosed by an INTERNET doctor as Ebola. But just as we are shattered by the news and asking God to cure Swanny he reveals that he ticked the wrong box and it's only athlete's foot. He then wonders where this doctor qualified. Clearly on the heads of imbeciles like you who are fat-headed enough to use his online services. Is this how the English selectors picked Swanny for the Ashes team? They ticked the wrong box on the internet?
Once the mystery has been solved, there is more food talk. Tomato soup followed by strawberry angel delight is the tea of champions. Sounds about right, since no player in the England team actually knows the meaning of the word. But guess what they do know? That breakfast in Transylvanian is vreakfast. I just feel smarter and smarter as I go through his tweets.
The only tweet that interested me was the fact that Andrew Hall, his Northamptonshire team-mate, likes braai a lot. But that was only because Hall is South African and therefore awesome. But if he is friends with Swann I might have to re-think that statement. Andrew if you miss calling someone Graeme that much just give Biff a call. The Proteas are currently in fitness training which means that he is always free. Fitness and Biff don't go together.
Graeme Swann's nickname is apparently Chin because of his big...well chin. Graeme Smith's lower half of the face is also huge. So in conclusion, men named Graeme have big chins. How is that for a random end to a post?
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