The Zimbabwe Tri-series

When India and Sri Lanka landed in Zimbabwe, they were told that they had only come to put themselves on display while the Zimbabwean cricketers do some job shadowing. You know, so they can build their skills and put it in their resumes for the other cricket nations to review and decide whether they want to play against them. Except, the Indians and Lankans were so bad at their own profession that the Zimbabweans decided to stop the shadowing and do their work for them. And what a fine job they did! 

I don't care if both the teams are missing key players and Dilshan is captaining Sri Lanka. Even an Indian or Sri Lankan second stream team should be able to beat Zimbabwe. Simply because no matter how inadequate the development phase of cricket is in these two countries, they can't be worse than the politicially motivated Zimbabwe. Yet, Zimbabwe have managed to produce players that can whoop Sri Lankan and Indian ass. Comfortably too.

Also, how about the fact that neither India nor Sri Lanka have sent their second strings to Zimbabwe? They just sent experimental teams, without their stars. And most of those lab rats have played in the first XI. I don't know how to exactly describe them. Err...oh yes! India and Sri Lanka after the retirement of Tendulkar, Sehwag, Sangakara and Mahela! Big, bright future boys!

I also don't care if this is only Zimbabwe and nobody is watching. Here's why: will this go down to the records? Yes it will. Will everybody know that India got knocked out by Zimbabwe in a tri-series? Yes they will. Will the Zimbabweans celebrate like mad and consider this a succesful tour (specially if they win today)? Yes they will. Will there be a trophy involved? Yes there will. So guess what? IT MATTERS. Even if you were involved in a tri-series with Afghanistan it matters.

They are putting their all in it. Why the fuck won't you? Oh, because you are India and Sri Lanka. You have been doing is for a while now. God forbid you should take a tri-series in Zimbabwe seriously. You have ICC rankings for fuck's sakes

I don't know about you but I can't wait for the final game today. Of course, now that I have written about Zimbabwe there is a 99.99% chance that they will lose.

Over at Bangladesh...

Sri Lanka finally got to play the last ODI at Kotla that they had to abandon because Sanga is a whiny baby. They won. The same result that they would have achieved in India had the grand design of BCCI, DDCA and the groundsmen not made the pitch so difficult on their soft, fully gaurded bodies.

Strangely, this Lankan team did not have Dilshan the Destroyer or Sanath the Aged. It had Samaraweera instead, who decided to go all Dilshan on Indian bowlers. It also had the dear Kandambi who is the only fat cricketer I like, after Arjuna Ranatunga. But dear Kandambi continues to pursue his dreams to be the lowest run scorer in all matches.

Or maybe his fatness prevents him from scoring anymore. Either way, his belly has somewhat of a likeability factor. I can't put my finger on it...or around it for that matter. But when I do, I will tell you what it is.

India's seven bowlers picked up an astonishing five wickets. Three of them went to Durbhajan Singh (copyright Raj).

If Durby's getting wickets, the dew must be fucking with this game right?

Over at Saffaland, something awesome has happened. Will post about it at night. Must look up every synonym for "gloat".

Bizzare things

- Kumar Sangakkara having a strike rate of 209.30
- 825 runs being scored in an ODI like the balls were coming from machines, rather than actually being bowled
-Harbajan having an economic rate of 5.80 with two wickets on a pitch that didn't assist bowlers
-Bowlers continuing to bowl like cricket actually gives a shit about their hard work

Why is it that people had such a problem when endless runs are being scored in Tests, but in ODI's it becomes entertainment? I have a problem with both. Sehwag and Dilshan were mindblowing, but somewhere, someone must have pity on the bowlers.

Are the legacies of Marshall, Donald, Akram, McGrath etc. dying?

Maybe.

Which captain has the best smile?

By best I mean who is bearing all their teeth now because they know that once the tournament starts they won't get an opportunity to do so.

That's a smile...his wife told me so

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Meanwhile, the 40 year old Jayasuriya is beating the crap out of the 21 year old Inshant. Sanath should run a school for fitness in cricket. Wato and Freddie are to be his star students. Kallis is to teach 'Dramatic weightloss' and Warne to teach 'Ten ways you never lose fat'.

And Sanga goes...to Harbajan. Yes Sanga, you should be mad at yourself. Whoever gives their wicket to Harbajan when they are not playing in India should be forced to shoot a commercial with Dhoni. The commercial will be about shoe laces. Dhoni will make a cricket ball out of shoe laces only and bowl to Sanga. Sanga will hit it for a six. This commercial will soon become a movie.

Dharmasena, a former Sri Lankan cricketer and now umpire gave Sanath a wrong LBW decision. If SL lose this, Sanath can go loco on his former team-mate. The public can burn effigies and throw cow dung at Dharma's house.

Sorry...when Bhajji got that wicket, I thought we had moved to India.

True story!

Over at the other game, once again the South African born Strauss is the only English batsman capable of making runs. Yes, it is important that he was born in South Africa. Don't try to tell yourself otherwise.

The wonderful Canadian cricket channel that I have is not even showing that game. So I have nothing to say about it till I see the highlights...or the rerun. Yes, cricket is so scarce here that we actually have a slot for reruns..ball by ball.