Mohammad Aamer

Is on his way to becoming a full-fledged Pakistani fast bowler. He burst into the cricket scene at an age when some boys are still trying to grow proper facial hair and sliced through the likes of Michael Huss...err..Ricky Ponting.

People got excited, as they tend to when a new Pakistani fast bowler is on the rise. They are amazing to watch, just like Windies fast bowlers. But somehow Pakistan makes them younger and faster. Aamer's face looks like he should be in a crib, googooing and gagaing. Instead he bowls balls that crack ribs.

But just when people tune in specifically to watch them play, something happens. With the last exciting Pakistani fast bowler it was drugs. With Aamer it's an injury. A groin injury.

*Insert over-used Shoaib joke here*

Next Aamer will hit a team mate, sustain some more injuries, talk shit about the PCB and then sue them. In between, if he has some time for drugs, he will do that too.

Of course I am hoping for none of the above because I quite like Aamer and want him to be up there with Kemar Roach one day. But the groin injury has got me all worried. Because Pakistani fast bowlers also seem to be lacking guidance or common sense. Maybe both, if they are really special.

*Insert another over-used Shoaib joke here*

Good news is, this is will be over soon and in that period of time, we will get to watch mini cyborg Philly bat at least once. I am hoping Twatto goes for a duck, while the little one gets a hundred. Just to rub it in Twatto's face.

If only it would stop raining.

Ten things-next year

Ten things I would like to see happen next year:

1. South Africa clobbering England in the remaining two tests.
2. Bangladesh winning their first tri-nation series.
3. Biff befriending KP (no, really).
4. Ricky Ponting misbehaving.
5. Finding an individual on Earth who genuinely likes Lalit Modi.
6. My Herschelle cementing his butt to the starting XI.
7. Graeme Swann banished into oblivion.
8. Stuart Broad's transformation into a man.
9. Shoaib Akhtar acquiring more VDs.
10. Some new commercials from M.S. Dhoni.

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!

Ideal Test Day

As Sri Lanka and India pile on runs after runs, I can't help but be more interested in the Kiwi vs Pak game. Note, the Indians scoring in abundance today has more to do with the Lankans and their ineffective bowling, but nevertheless, there is nothing great about teams reaching three-four hundred on Day 1. It is expected, i.e. boring. Specially when the first test made zombies wish they had never come alive.

So I prefer to focus on the other game. Reasons:

1. The match started with a yorker from a seventeen year old that resulted in a wicket. That seventeen year old is becoming my favourite player to watch. Considering his country has produced Wasim Akram, his talent is not surprising. But it is worrying that his country has also produced Shoaib Akhtar, whose sole focus since god knows when has been to entertain off the field rather than on it. I honestly don't want Aamer to waste his talent on acquiring gential warts but if Shoaib decides to mend his ways, it may have to happen...to carry on Shoaib's legacy.

2. After two wickets, there was a Kiwi fightback. Ross Taylor did extremely well to get his team back on track and then fell six runs short of his century. Talk about prime time drama.

3. Pakistan picked up six wickets. None of them went to Umar Gul. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

4. The day ended with yet another Kiwi fightback. This could become a Spartan war. Unfortunately without 300 abs.

5. Daniel Vettori is at the crease and should be getting a 50. Baz is also there, but I am blissfully ignoring him.

Let's take a picture of this day and fax it to India.

Cricket Hell

I mentioned it in my last post and it got me thinking. What would a cricket hell be like? I came up with a few things.

Location:
Has to be a sound proof, armour door room in Lalit Modi's home. It can only be accessed through a secret passageway through his bedroom. The password for the passage is 'shake your money maker'.

Attractions (Note: The following is for commercial purposes only. There are no guarantees in real life)
-Brett Lee's band Six and Out. They will wake you up every morning with their hit single 'can't catch and can't bowl'. After which you are free to hit Brett Lee for ever picking up a guitar.

-Live commercials by Dhoni. He will appear three times a day to sell Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. If you were a fat cricketer then he will sell Tea as well.

-Comedy performances by KP, Andrew McDonald and Ashish Nehra. KP will praise the Queen in his South African accent and Nehra will lose in a catching competition with a 2 year old. McDonald will just show his face.

-Free health checkups by Shoaib Akhtar. No, this is not optional.

-Workouts with Jesse Ryder. WARNING: May involve a Royal Rumble with Rikishi.

-Dating tips from Shane Warne. Demonstrated by AB and Morne for continuing to remain single despite having hoards of girls after them. Very suspicious behaviour.

You have to come. It will be much better than the snake biting, fire burning cave ruled by the Red dude.