I haven't seen my Hersch in a while, which is a tragedy. I don't even know if I will get to see him tomorrow because it's another useless game. Hersch doesn't take part in useless games. So unless he is in a mood to entertain people, he might not play. What's that you say about being dropped for bad form? No, no. This is Herschelle Gibbs. The selectors don't pick him for matches, he decides when to play. And that's that.
So to make up for this Herschelle deficiency in my life, and yours, I went and dug up his profile at the Cape Cobras website. It's a good mix of professional and personal questions. You can go read the stats stuff yourself, which you should, but I'll only highlight the personal parts here...because I feel like it.
Name: Herschelle Herman Gibbs
Nickname: Scooter, the Sack man
-When Hersch first started playing he was too young to drive (16 year old prodigy thank you very much) so his team mates joked that they would buy him a scooter. Hence the name. I have no idea where the Sack man came from. Maybe for his dangerous catch taking abilities. Right. That has to be it.
-It's actually blank. Poor guy can't come to term with the fact that his best friend married him and then turned out to be a gold-digger. The things my Hersch has to live with!
Most memorable day in cricket and why: 1999 World Cup semifinal, it had everything a ODI should have, except the right result!
-Ugh! Close eyes, happy thoughts, open eyes, deep breath...move on.
-Also blank. Because Hersch can do better than 175 bitches! I wait patiently for that day.
Best advice you have received: Believe in your talent
- But what happens when your talent can be used in every god damn sport in the Universe?
How would you change the game: Wouldn’t
-And I love him even more.
Cricketing ambitions: To fulfill my talent
-Which will at least take him to the next World Cup or even beyond. That's right. He ain't retiring. So STFU!
Most disappointing moment in the game: Don't have any
-This might be a teeny tiny lie. On second thought, compared to his personal life, this sounds about right.
Most embarrassing moment in cricket: Dropping two catches in New Zealand
-I never saw it, so it did not happen. Hersch cracks such great jokes!
Funniest moment in cricket: A bowler's false teeth fell out when he was appealing for an LBW!
-I will kill to know the identity of this bowler. Off the top of my head I can only think of Shane Warne. His teeth are quite suspiciously white.
What other sports do you follow: Golf and Rugby
-He also plays both...fabulously! Although I must condemn him for following Golf. I don't understand this Golf obsession that Cricketers have. It's not fun to play...trust me, I tried!
What car do you drive: BMW
-I must tell him that all the cool people drive Infinitis now.
Favourite food: My mother's food
-I can hear girls going ''Awwww''
Favourite drink: Jack Daniels and coke
-Don't even waste your energy on alcoholic jokes. This is obviously an old profile. But I must admit the man's got class or had class, before he started chugging a bottle per minute.
Favourite movie: Gladiator
-Again, good taste!
Favourite actor/actress: Richard Pryor
-I don't know who he is. But at least it's not Rob Pattinson.
Best book read: I haven't read a book
-Shock, horror, disbelief! WHAT? Okay, breathe Purna. Obviously he has been too busy building his career, so he didn't get a chance to read...a single...book....WHAT THE FUCK! Breathe. All will change the day you enter his life. Which will be soon. Problem solved.
What do you see yourself doing after your career ends: Who knows!
- Unpredictable and adventurous. So Herschelle-like!
This dosage of Herschelle will last me till the semis. He better play then, otherwise I'll make him read a book on the necessity of having alcohol in one's life! No I won't. But he better play. That's all I am saying.