"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Interesting nicknames

It has come to my attention that some of the Proteas have very interesting nicknames. There must be a story behind each of these, but I don't know any of them. However, they are all wonderful for the imagination and that is exactly what I am doing with this post. Exercising my imagination.

Note: All names that do not add to the mind have been left out. And the ones whose origins we already know. By we, I mean me.

Albie Morkel: Berg. The analogy is possibly with an iceberg which is funny because Albie is neither cool nor melting slowly to add to the effects of global warming. Although if I stretch my imagination really, really far, Albie has been able to sink cricket giants like Australia with his powerful batting in the past. I would like to remind him that icebergs never stop sinking ships. In other words find your destructive form, FOR THE LOVE OF MORNE!

Ashwell Prince: Ashy P. There is clearly no story behind this name, but it had to make the list because it appeals to one's humour. Ashy P. Pee on the Ashes. His pee is like soot. I get the feeling Andrew Strauss might want to take Ashy P home after the series.

Hashim Amla: Hash. As in hashish? So we can say 'That guy his dope!'. In gangsta language that means he is awesome/amazing/the bomb/bitchin'! You get my drift.

Jacques Kallis: Boogie. My imagination only went as far as Jacques Kallis must be really good at the boogie woogie. Then it was halted by the image of Jacques actually doing the boogie woogie. That put together with the picture below just sent me into bouts of laughter. Sorry Jakes. I love you, I really do. But you and the Boogie...God help us all!

Johan Botha: Stone. I'm sure Botha likes to think of this in a Stone Cold, Steve Austin way but I'm afraid Botha is not macho enough. But then again, he is a spin bowler. Spin bowlers don't need muscles. They need brains and stone-faced demeanor to let the batsmen know that they are superior. I'm sure that is where he gets his nickname from. His emotionless, perfectly chiseled face that give away nothing. As oppose to Biffy's flat, big chinned, panic-stricken one.

Makhaya Ntini: George. How very strange to have a nickname that is an actual name. How very strange to be nicknamed after the stupidest person alive! My imagination fails here. Does Macky look like a George? Last I checked, Ntini was not looking for weapons of mass destruction, he IS the weapon of mass destruction. As soon as I am done this exercise I am going to give Macky a new nickname. Something like the Terminator.

Mark Boucher: Rab. At first glance this seems random. BUT, if you take out the middle potion of his first name, the first letter of his surname and rearrange it a bit, what do you get? RAB! My brain is tired from the sheer work behind this. Some people have too much time in their hands!

Thankfully, I am not one of those people. So this is where the exercise ends. But I think my brain has grown in size, ever so slightly.

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