My poor heart was very low when England was 101-6 in the 20th over. Specially when Morgan went after a fantastic 9 off 27 balls. I couldn't believe I missed an opportunity to watch his fantastic skills. What injustice!
But then Wright and Bresnan came and my poor heart started pumping faster. What beautiful display of batting! Magnificent. It was a real shame Wright the Hobbit did not get his half-century. He was robbed! Robbed I say! How dare Paine catch that ball! Little frog forgot that a Hobbit is still taller than an amphibian.
The wickets started to tumble soon though. You can't imagine the agony of watching English batsmen walk back to the pavilion. My poor heart could barely take it. It was divine intervention when Paine fell to Onions. That stopped the pain, just for a little bit.
As Watto and Punter hammered the English bowlers all over the place, my heart took a beating too. During that Colly over, 4 1 6 0 6 6, my right atrium was nearly blocked.
Because I was laughing so hard, my heart could not keep up with the increasing demand for endorphins in my body.
If you think I actually felt sorry for England you are drunk this Friday night.
If you are gravely disappointed because you thought the Poms could actually win this, here's another heart-breaker for you: Santa Claus isn't real either.
I am now going to celebrate the return of sane cricket by sharing with you some of my favourite pictures from the match.