It sucks to be Brett Lee

This is not a continuation of the Buffalo post, but I couldn't find a more apt title for the disaster that is Binga's career. No hear me out, it IS a disaster.

First of all, the injuries. Oh so many of them! And even though he looks, dresses, sings like Twatto he is hardly an opener who knows how to bowl. He is a fast bowler and those folks pick up injuries that break them down. One at a time. Binga's elbow and knees have endured so much, the Federal Mutant Detectors are keeping an eye on him.
I lie. There is no such thing, but if there was Binga would be on their list.

Second of all, he has to be the only fast bowler in the world who got sidelined/dropped from the team despite being in good form. He hasn't lost the ability to take wickets, he hasn't lost his pace, he is still fit (minus that apple butt...has anyone noticed that THAT thing never changes shape?)...and yet he is not in the starting XI! It's not his fault really. A tirade of young fast bowlers have emerged for the Aussies in all three formats and it's probably the right way to go. But that's hardly a consolation for Tweety man right?

Third, his IPL stint. This is really based on today's game but very little is going well for him these days. Sure he got chosen for the WC T20 because of the IPL, but is he going to get a game? If Nannes is fit (evidently he is now injured) and Shaun Tait continues to be the speedy bastard that he is, Binga will be the drinks man. Oh wait, Witchy's in the squad. So Binga will probably have to sit in the dressing room with his guitar.

Which brings us to the fourth problem, his music. Yes, he is going to be writing the official song for WC 2011 but that doesn't mean we will like it. And neither does it mean he is a rock star. Cricket Australia needed a gentle way to inform him that he will not be getting a game and ICC wanted to make some budget cuts. So the two brainstormed and came up with this brilliant plan.

Brett Lee will open and close with his official WC song. That way he will get to be around the Aussies boys throughout the tournament AND ICC don't have to spend that much on the ceremonies.

The only good part of it all is that Binga can't produce a customary wide or no-ball while performing. Unless he misses a beat or goes off key.

Deccan playing for a loss

Operation: Game against Rajasthan

General wish/want/endeavour: Win the game

Possible problems:
Shane Warne, Gilly's 'best mate'
Graeme Smith, not playing but still Hersch's 'close' friend
Shaun Tait's yorkers
Harsh Umpires

Things going Deccan's way (estimated) :
a) One wrong umpire decision
b) Nothing

Things Deccan can do to make it easier for Rajasthan: Run Andrew Symonds out, right after Herschelle goes.

Things Deccan can do to come out of this mess:
a) Call upon the Chaminda Vaas batting ghost of yesterday (if he even exists)
b) Stop getting run out
c) Ensure that Hersch gets 5 direct, successful hits
d) Call Shaun Tait fat thereby distracting him (The horrendous Rajasthan uniform makes him look curvy)
e) Get wickets
f) Let Kemar Roach play

Some last inspiring Hollywoodesque words during the strategic time-out: If you lose, they win. If you win, they lose. Work it out, it's not complicated.

Post match thoughts: Hersch decided to drop a catch instead. It hurt like a bitch.

Operation: Durby must go

I have ventured out to fulfill your many requests. First up, Durbhajan Singh. It was chosen in random order don't worry. There is no favouritism here. Otherwise all Saffa request would have gone first.

(Although I am hoping AB and JP find their forms without me and my hocus pocus...positive things are a lot of work guys! Find your form!)

Anyway, back to Durby. Durbhajan Singh was injured on March 13th, 2010 by an agent named Shaun Tait. Yes, I know you didn't know he worked for me. He didn't either. Still doesn't.

Let me tell you that the Tait ball that merely scraped Durby's left knee, (he over-reacted...wanted to go home for his own wedding this time) was actually meant to put him out for months. Tait, after bowling his one miracle 160K, has lost it. Specially since CA don't have a central contract for him anyway...or they do..then they don't again. It's really confusing.

Because of Tait's own personal drama Durby returned soon after. Thankfully reliable Cricket Minded agent Jacques Kallis belted the shit out of him. Tomorrow the massacre continues. Unfortunately, he is playing Kolkata so I can't garauntee a full demolition. Not with bloody Ishant Sharma's buffet bowling.

However, we will continue to try. If we can't injure him, we will ruin him. If we can't ruin him, we will finish him. But we can't give you details of that.