T2D4: Suggestions

Let's make a team of all tail-enders and make the Saffers play against them. Because clearly, they need the practice. Barbie, Swannyg66, Rampaul, Benn, Mahmudullah, Mushfiq...hell let's even put Mohammad Asif in this team! The Saffers will be obligated to play this lot at least twice a year.

It seems that the Saffers are so busy studying the real batsmen, they forget that after all of them come those who in theory should succumb to their bowling like mosquitoes to DDT. And thus, the Saffers have become the team against whom tailenders test their abilities to be 'all-rounders'. Some may also think that they are genuine all-rounders (FYI, Mahmudullah is the real all-rounder amongst those I named) thanks to the Saffa bowlers. Because of all the fancy shit they try against the Rampauls and the Benns, all the batsmen have to do is stick their bat out and it goes for a boundary. It is a mockery! Not to mention a mockery of supposedly the deadliest fast bowling combination in the world right now, Morkel and Steyn.

I say supposedly because this combination has only clicked for two tests. These two have every skill to get rid of the supposedly but their greatness will have to include bowling at the bloody stumps and getting rid of the bloody tail-enders! Rid the world of fake all-rounders, treat them like non-batsmen...because that's exactly what they are! Don't be a disgrace to Donald-Pollock and Pollock-Ntini guys!

My other suggestion is that we should build Mark Boucher a throne, pick up a crown from Burger King and make Tim Paine, Kamran Akmal and Kieswetter dance around him.

Smile Kamran

Kamran Akmal is a grouchy individual. He never smiles when he scores big. He didn't even smile on his wedding day.

Today, he dropped four catches for Pakistan. Needless to say his grouchy face became even grouchier. It was almost computerized. The face fell with each drop, little by little.

The question is how much can it really drop? It is a big ball of sulk to begin with. Can it drop till his neck? Maybe till his waist.

He just lost his wicket.

Maybe till his knees.

If Pakistan lose this PCB will investigate him and Younis Khan will say that it's Kamran's way of telling Yousuf that he shouldn't captain Pakistan. Then he will never smile for sure.

Maybe it will drop till his ankles.

That's four drops from the top. Oops!

No draws please!

NO! Pakistan is going to bat till the last test match is a draw. COWARDS!

C'mon, give the Kiwis a decent chance to bat. You have Aamer and Asif, what the fuck are you afraid of?

C'mon! It has been so awesome so far. Don't fucking play safe and ruin it ALL.

C'mon Kamran, GIVE UP YOUR WICKET. Don't worry about match fixing allegations. If you give it to Dan, no one will suspect you.

Collapse Pakistan collapse! Or declare.

Aah, Danish heard me.

YES! All out! Go Kiwis Go!

RAIN? But this is not South Africa...