I wasn't able to cut my umbilical cord. The more I tried to stay away, the more cricket called me. But don't worry darlings, the bitches have been owned...partially, which is why I decided to come back. Actually, I came back because I've been secretly typing up posts for the past few days and not writing has forced my brain into thinking more and more about this blog. The tortures of reverse psychology!
But that is not what the subject is about. I am talking about the epic failure of IPL teams. Now, you are going to say, but two out of the three teams went through. Yes they did. But courtesy of who?
That's right. The INDIAN PREMIERE LEAGUE has done zilch for Indian players. It took one Dutchman, one Australian and one Saffa to get these teams into the second round. How I laughed! Especially, when I read all those articles about HOW his Modiness will get the crowd to come watch the games if the IPL teams are eliminated. Modi my love, it's quite simple really. Get the Indian cricketers to buy tickets for their whole family so that they can come and learn how cricket is really played. Judging from the million cricketers that will NEVER get a chance to play for India (*cough*Chawla*cough*), you will make profit AND teach them a few things. Brilliant?
This is where Lalit Modi bows down to me for stopping that trillionth zero in his bank balance from disappearing. Also, now he can finally buy an Iphone (The guy is this rich and owns only a Blackberry? Shame!).
He should also bow down to Trinidad & Tobago for making this tournament exciting. Seriously, who would have thought a team from the West Indies would beat the crap out of the Deccan Chargers? They are by far the most interesting team of this tournament and such a huge plus for their country! It makes me very happy to see the Gangas, the Bravos, the Simmons and the Mohammeds kicking major international ass! Screw you WICB for keeping them hidden and dragging West Indies down to such a sorry state!
Okay, I have calmed down. It doesn't matter what the WICB did to them before. They will now hunt in packs till a certain Whayle disappears off the face of the Earth. They will then take over and save cricket in West Indies. Just don't forget Kemar Roach. He is magnificent.
Of course, even after all the drama, the Cape Cobras will win.
Aah, it's good to be back!