T3D1: Tactics

Hallelujah! The Saffers have dropped Lopsy and picked Botha instead! What a good decision! Other than the fact that he did great there is also the point that if Paul Harris can be part of a test team than the new, reformed, finally overcoming the trauma of losing his doosra Botes should DEFINITELY be a part of the Proteas test squad. Plus, I have come to the conclusion that Lopsy is a bit over-rated. Although, I have also come to the conclusion that I am judging him too early.

West Indies too have put some thought into their tactics. Maybe Chris Gayle feels like winning this one, just for kicks. They might as well end on a 'high', as I don't see anything scheduled for months to come.

Dowlin was dropped, thank fucking god! I don't really care about the Windies that much but shit this guy was an embarrassment! They still refused to pick Adrian Bharath  though and picked Dale Richards instead...again! FYI, he also sucks and has a very South African sounding name. Suspicious.

But the biggest tactic used by the Windies was confusion. Rampaul was injured so Sammy came in, much to my delight. But Sammy too succumbed to injury and was replaced by Pascal who looked into Chris Gayle's eyes too early and hence hurt his neck. All of this made way for one Brandon Bess, whose name strangely reminds me of Archie and the gang. I don't know why...

Dale Steyn also changed his tactics by wearing a heinous pair of sunglasses with white frames and having his handkerchief hang below his cap like an Arab Sheik. He looked quite disturbing. Thankfully Kemar Roach stuck to his tactics by being wonderful and fast.

Fidel Edwards and Jerome Taylor also stuck to their tactics by being injured and absent, which made me very upset. How long do we have to wait to see Morkel & Steyn go up against Edwards & Taylor?

T2D4: Suggestions

Let's make a team of all tail-enders and make the Saffers play against them. Because clearly, they need the practice. Barbie, Swannyg66, Rampaul, Benn, Mahmudullah, Mushfiq...hell let's even put Mohammad Asif in this team! The Saffers will be obligated to play this lot at least twice a year.

It seems that the Saffers are so busy studying the real batsmen, they forget that after all of them come those who in theory should succumb to their bowling like mosquitoes to DDT. And thus, the Saffers have become the team against whom tailenders test their abilities to be 'all-rounders'. Some may also think that they are genuine all-rounders (FYI, Mahmudullah is the real all-rounder amongst those I named) thanks to the Saffa bowlers. Because of all the fancy shit they try against the Rampauls and the Benns, all the batsmen have to do is stick their bat out and it goes for a boundary. It is a mockery! Not to mention a mockery of supposedly the deadliest fast bowling combination in the world right now, Morkel and Steyn.

I say supposedly because this combination has only clicked for two tests. These two have every skill to get rid of the supposedly but their greatness will have to include bowling at the bloody stumps and getting rid of the bloody tail-enders! Rid the world of fake all-rounders, treat them like non-batsmen...because that's exactly what they are! Don't be a disgrace to Donald-Pollock and Pollock-Ntini guys!

My other suggestion is that we should build Mark Boucher a throne, pick up a crown from Burger King and make Tim Paine, Kamran Akmal and Kieswetter dance around him.

The Bald and the Beautiful

It was pretty much the story of Hersch, JP and Bravo wasn't it? Bravo being the beautiful for his awesome batting. No points for guessing who the bald are.

Ravi Rampaul made a guest appearance towards the end of the Cobras innings. Damn, that was some fine example of death bowling! But it still won't get him in the IPL. His name is too Indian-sounding. And clearly the IPL has nothing to do with Indian players. Sorry Ravi.

I am actually indifferent to the result. It's not like this is the Proteas. I only went for the Cobras because of Hersch and he thankfully decided to finally rise from ground zero. He did his part with the batting and the fielding. If he could bowl, he would have done that splendidly too. It's not his fault that the rest of the Cobras were shockingly bad. Speaking of shocking, here's a funny picture where Davids actually looks surprised after dropping the second catch.

Focusing all his energy on the drop...

It's funny because he took some amazing catches against Bangalore in the first match. Meaning as I laugh, I am crying in the inside.

Right, so T&T are through to the finals. You know what that means right? Kieron is sharpening his bat on a strop while Moises is praying for Anubis to come take him away. But that ain't happening. Anubis will be too busy chilling with me and cheering KP on as he busts your balls again and again and again.

Cricket balls that is.