The plot thickens

Mike Procter and his merry men have been sacked. I want to do a little dance but it's really late here. Maybe tomorrow.

I am happy about the fact that Procter is gone. He is the fucking idiot that dropped Morne in the beginning of the season and kept Makhaya for the second test. Or was it CSA's quota policy that he was following? Something tells me we will never know.

Or maybe we will, if the interim selection panel magically brings Makhaya back in the squad. In which case who do we talk to to fire Gerald Majola? It might not happen, but it's good to keep a back up plan for everything. And a backup-backup plan. Meaning if there is nobody who can fire Majola we will need to kidnap Makhaya and send him off to Brazil. For his own good.

A part of me thinks they were fired for KEEPING Makhaya in the second test. That move had fucking politics written all over it. Then of course the utterly nonsense decisions to exclude Wayne Parnell and Morne Morkel from the ODI's against England, not picking Alviro Petersen or Loots Bosman for the Champions Trophy when Hersch was injured (weren't you surprised when these two came out of nowhere against England and did well?), the injustice done with Friedel de Wet etc.

What I don't understand is why everyone is so upset about this. Have you people not realized the Saffers were becoming so predictable a toddler could crawl all over them? Or are you still thinking about 2008? Hello, this is 2010. There was a year in between where the Saffers were T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E. And their strategy still sucks in the ODIs. Arthur, Procter and the gang had their contracts till the 2011 World Cup. If they hadn't been sacked now, that would have been another disastrous campaign.

They would have lost/drawn in India with or without Mickey and his safe tactics. It's not so bad. Trust me.

No more Mickiness

BAHAHAHAHA! I am laughing because I am still undecided as to whether this is a good or bad thing. And when I am in doubt, I laugh.

Obviously the fat-headedness of Mickey and Biff has been talked about again and again since the beginning of the season. Turns out the two heads themselves have been clunking together and have "deteriorated irreparably". As if they were in working conditions before.

The real test of team leaders and management come when the team is going through a slump. The Saffers started this slump from the T20 semi-finals and haven't quite come out of it yet. Instead of being smart and getting the team through this, Buffalo and Mickiness have been bickering like an old couple. Happens. When the team is winning no one will question you. But when the team is down, things get tougher and that's when you show your real character. Mickey's real character is that of a tabloid queen. You see the problem?

Now that I think about it, I am partially leaning towards this being a good thing. Sure, the team will have to get used to a new coach while playing an important series but it's always better to have one half brain at the head as opposed to two. Specially if they can't be joined because of hate rays being emitted towards the other.

Rumour has it that Mike Procter might also get the sack. If Gerald Majola can get rid of Mickey, Vincent Barnes and Procter in the same week, I will give him a cookie. A big one. With ice cream on top. And fudge, lot's of fudge.

Sorry, got distracted there. But that's gotta be the world's best incentive. Somebody email Majola and let him know.

Bye Mickey. We won't miss you.

Attention Mike Procter

This is exclusively from the English camp through an interview with Skysports (just in case someone thought I am making this up).

Skysports.com: The first Pro20 international is still a fortnight away but we now know the make-up of both squads. Have the South African selectors got it right?

Follicularly challenged Nasser: I was a bit surprised by Herschelle Gibbs' omission, I have to say. I think the Herschelle Gibbs' of this world come around once a decade. Yes, he will frustrate, he will get out cheaply - but that's the nature of the person and the role that he plays. But in the same way that Mickey Arthur has been saying he's relieved not to see Harmison in England's one-day side, I think Andy Flower can quite happily say England are happy not to have Herschelle Gibbs on the opposition. South Africa will miss his fielding and his energy as well as his batting - as will the fans. As someone who is going out there to cover the tour it's disappointing. Yes he'll miss out in a few games but you know that in one of them he'll set the world alight. South Africa must have some mighty fine cricketers if they are leaving Herschelle Gibbs out!

So apparently the English get it and the Saffers don't. I don't understand why he was dropped. He played in only one ODI since their return from the break that lasted all of eternity. Speaking of which, who the fuck came up with this idea? The Proteas deserved the break, but FOUR FUCKING MONTHS? Sounds like something Graeme Smith thought out. Interestingly, he also met his girlfriend during this break. If that is not proof, I don't know what is.

If Herschelle has been dropped based on his performance in the Champions League, Mike Proctor is a giant ass! SERIOUSLY? You lost patience with him based on a domestic T20 tournament, where he ended up scoring decently in the big match. Does Procter actually have a brain or is it a peanut that's residing in his skull?

I am desperate to watch Herschelle play. I will kill myself if the Poms win the ODI's because no one was able to replace Gibbs at the top. On second thought, before I resort to killing I should seek out Michael Hussey and ask him for the potion that he gave his selectors, which made them keep him in the team. If Mussey can't get dropped even after reaching new levels of shit batting, because he is Mr. Cricket, somebody please explain to me the justification behind dropping Hersch.

I'm so tired of hating. But what to do? Fools like Procter continue to make stupid decisions that aggravate me. That and I am a born hater. According to some.