"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Sunday, January 17, 2010

T4D4: Morne, draw and some more fridge

I have an important question: what is the exact definition of infidelity? If I have Morne's babies and keep on thinking about Dale the whole time, does it make me an infidel? Because I need to have Morne's babies now. It's not even a wish, a dire need, not for me but for South African cricket. If I have 4 kids with Dale and 4 with Morne, that's four generations of dangerous opening bowlers for the Saffers. One or two of them might even blog badly. Regardless, We don't have to cry for the Donald-Pollock days, EVER. So is infidelity really bad when it's for the greater good?

Other than the fact that the Morne-Steyn combo has finally arrived after a long, long wait for Saffa fans (since Allan's retirement to be exact) another piece of history has been made in this fourth test. It rained...AND THE SAFFERS STILL WON! Bet you didn't realize that eh? 

I am slightly sad that this series is over but so god damn relieved that the Saffers levelled! However, I don't think they should be all that happy. They drew. Against England. At home. They should have fucked up the Pommies so bad they would never ever have wanted to return to Saffaland. Instead fucking England proved to be a resilient side. I think it's the South African tea. I'll say it. England... played... well... FUCKERS!

Of course some very dodgy selection decisions and Paul Harris helped. Paul, as much as I like you...fuck you! Just a little. You are South African after all.

Ryan can bat and JP can spin. So what happens to Paul now? Actually what happens to JP? He can get wickets yes, but tiny man...you...ARE A BATSMAN! At least that's what we thought! There's some talk about him being an all-rounder. Umm...NO. Failing with one and doing well with another in a test does not make him an all-rounder. Jakes seriously needs to put that definition on a t-shirt and wear it.

All-rounder: JACQUES FUCKING KALLIS. Dumbasses.

Graeme Swann and Bouchie-the man won man of the series. I thought Paul Collingwood deserved it more than Swannyg66. This is not spurred by my dislike for Swann. Think about it. Had Colly's innings not moved at the pace of a turtle at Centurion and Cape Town, there would have been ample time to get that fucker Onions. Even with Makhaya bowling.

Speaking of Makhaya, his fridge seems to have given birth to three more. CSA didn't want to pay for their food and electricity, so gave them to Jakes, Ashy P and Bouch. Ashy P is going to use it to freeze his brain some more.

Lastly, Andrew Strauss got booed for talking about the frustration with the review system. Ricky Ponting is buying the Wanderers crowd beer. Cheers guys!


missjane said...

I have to say Purna, that even as an Aussie, I would buy that shirt.

You could put a list on the back:

All-rounder ≠ :

- Mitchell Johnson

any others for the list??

Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

"England... played... well..."

Objection. SA won (3-2onions):1, which, unfortunately, is a statistical result of 1:1.
And nothing is as misleading in cricket as statistics. SA have emerged utterly strong from this series and I bet were there two more tests England would fly home in wheelchairs. Strauss, who even publically dreamt of England becoming the No.1 test nation in the world, may want to reconsider his goals. And yes I agree with whoever wrote that Oz are currently lacking Storkel.


Purna said...

MissJane, If Witchy Mitchy is on it then how can we keep Stuart Broad out? Maybe even Lukre Wright. And Paul Harris.

Wes, I honestly was quite sure that the Saffers were going to thrash the Poms. I was shocked at their resistance. Do you know the West Indies beat this same team at home? Like killed them. The Saffers should have done the same to be honest.So England did play well. UGH!

missjane said...

Sorry, I got all maths on you Purn; it's a "does not equal".

All rounder = Kallis, All rounder does not equal (≠) Mitch. Much as I love him. So the front would say:


And on the back you'd have a list of people who aren't all rounders, whatever the press say.

Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

Swann. It just shot into my mind. Swann is an allrounder. A really good one. But no one says it.
Watson is one too. World's best at the moment.

Purna when was that? In the Sky video player there are statements (Strauss) from some Windie tour. Incl. a match abandoned because of crappy pitch. Or so... And Harmison vomitted all over the floor in his bathroom(?). But I am probably confusing this.

Mock Wah said...

I must say with all those "fridges" SAF must the coolest side!!! :)

Anonymous said...

You know Wes, it was very peculiar but I was listening to TMS after the match and they were still talking about when Broad could move to no 7 and how it might have to wait a bit. (About 10 years at this rate).

And no-one mentioned Swann.

It is like some kind of massive amnesia or a slur on Broad if they mention that their number 9 is better with the willow than the wickie, let alone the Golden Child.

Notts know it. They always bat him ahead of Broad.

Purna said...

MissJane (MJ!),I understood your math. We are like totally on the same level. HAHA. You didn't think I was seriously calling Broady, Wright and Harris allrounders did you?

Wes, why must you bring up Swann's abilities and make me miserable?
It was early 2009 I believe. Before the Ashes.I don't know anything about Harmison throwing up on the floor but yes, the rest sounds right.

Mock, I have been exposed as a shitty blogger with shitty grammar. Why did I use fridges? I don't even know!

Lou, evidently Broad is young and has much to learn. Methinks he should learn how to bowl first, before aspiring to be an all-rounder. And maybe acquire some manners too.

missjane said...

Got it, thanks... sorry, brain melting in ridiculous weather here at the moment! I did realise you weren't serious about them, I just missed which list you meant. :)

Mock: HA.

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