My mother, who has no interest in cricket whatsoever, suddenly noticed Shahid Afridi on television today and was amazed that he was still playing. She knows Afridi because when I was young, older girls were crazy about him. Don't ask me why. I never saw what they saw, neither did my mother.
But she did know that Afridi should be of an age of partial retirement, if not completely gone from cricket. So I looked up his age, very sure that he was at least 32. But apparently, the man hasn't even hit his 30's yet. Mesmerized, I did a quick calculation.
When I was nine, Shahid Afridi was seventeen.
When I was ten, Afridi was seventeen.
And when I was eleven, Afridi was still seventeen.
This is how the eight years difference between us had been reduced to six. But I have some serious doubts about whether he was in fact seventeen the first time, in which case he should be at least 34.
But his body doesn't show it. Not a big surprise there, as he doesn't play tests. Regardless, it's freaking hilarious and such an 'aging woman with layers of makeup in denial' thing to do. At only seventeen too.
He seems to have celebrated his seventeenth birthday three years in a row in an attempt to appear young and play cricket for as long as he can. But then there is the beard in all its Pantene glory, making him look older. So he keeps the numbers low, but the looks wrinkled? Where is he going with this fucked up logic? Enigma? Honey, believe it or not, the world can do math.
Like they can tell you just by looking at your face that you will be bald by the time you are 36, which is in two years if we are to go by your real age. Then people will just call you a 32 year old baldy. Didn't think this through did you Boom Boom?
Needless to say Imran Khan is not pleased with Afridi's ageist behaviour.