"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Saffers go to India

To take on the team who took the numero uno status from them. The Incessant Crack Consumers give these titles out, so who really cares? Except we all do and so do they. Nobody's buying this "they are just stats" bullshit, so stop selling.

I already see problems with the squad. Paul Harris and Johan Botha are in the test team as specialist spinners.But if not them, who else you ask? Well...nobody. That's how sad the situation is. I had once written about how ROFL and Botes had finally become spinners and it wasn't a seasonal thing etc.etc. Turns out I should learn to shut my pie hole. And Botha should find a way to be effective without the doosra.

But you got to make do with what you have right? So here's the way to deal with Paul Harris. Send him off on a tour of India on foot. Tell him he should be back in time for the first test. Except he won't. And you will at least have put in a decent performance. Well, as decent as you can with a man who hasn't played tests since 2008. And JP Duminy.

MY HERSCHELLE IS BACK! Who doubted him again? Show your face so I can smash it into pieces!
(He will play right Mickey...?)

Anyway, here are the squads:
Test squad Graeme Smith (capt), Hashim Amla, Johan Botha, Mark Boucher (wk), AB de Villiers, JP Duminy, Paul Harris, Jacques Kallis, Ryan McLaren, Morne Morkel, Wayne Parnell, Alviro Petersen, Ashwell Prince, Dale Steyn, Lonwabo Tsotsobe.

ODI squad Graeme Smith (capt), Loots Bosman, Johan Botha, Mark Boucher (wk), AB de Villiers, JP Duminy, Herschelle Gibbs, Jacques Kallis, Albie Morkel, Morne Morkel, Wayne Parnell, Alviro Petersen, Dale Steyn, Lonwabo Tsotsobe, Roelof van der Merwe.

Of course, despite all odds being against them I am hoping the Saffers win and Harro has a good tour. If Hauritz can do it Harro so can you. YES YOU CAN!

But in all honesty, I am really hoping AB de Villiers releases a chart-topping single with Asha Bhonsle. AB, you can also do it.

20 comments:

Reverse Swing said...

this will be a very good series specially test matches, India claiming and aiming to maintain its 1st position in test will have real test first time after a long time against a good Saffers team but Saffers after not so good home series will have to show what they are capable of against a very strong Indian team.

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The MG said...

Wow, Anonymous, that was really on-topic. Don't bots have better things to do?

BTW my eyebrows did a bit of dancing at those squads. Good to see Botha being considered for the Test team!

anon564 said...

'dont bots have beter things to do'

err, what better thing for a bot to do than this?

and yeah, south africa beating India?? in your dreams. watch out for another sehwag triple. they will be crushed, mark my words.

Purna said...

Reverse, I would say they were terrible in the beginning but they are finding their rythm again. Minus a few problems here and there.

Anon, I am still a dump and downright pessmistic 'person'.

MG, I hope he doesn't disappoint!

564, we did draw against them the last time...so we will see :P.

Wes said...

Does Blogger not have a spam filter
(I mean the second post lol)

Great squads, maybe we are gonna get to see Tsobie? To be honest I think maybe JP will be more useful than Knob, I think push him down the order and make him focus on the bowling :D Will also be nice to see Petersen again. But why do they drag Prince along?
Big series, gonna shout my head off.

Sidthegnomenator said...

Right, we need to make a deal sunshine - I'll stop doubting your Hersch if you stop dissing My Lord Nathan ...

Will you be joining me in support of the Deccan Charges in the next few months?

Purna said...

Prince, if I memory serves me correctly, has a decent record in India. But that was another lifetime.But I hope Peterson is there for him. Or my Hersch is there to beat him up.

Sid, yes I will. But please can I make fun of your Lord? I don't have Moises, Paine..of even Twatto to make fun of anymore!

Anonymous said...

Prince has a fantastic record everywhere, except at no 1. In position 5-6 he has scored a test century against every test nation except Sri Lanka. So there.

Anyone messing with Ashy P with him is up against me. And I'm a seriously good debater. So there.

Purna; Asha and AB together is a match made in heaven (featuring Ashy P as a rapper).

AB&AB singing "Pardon my runny do" about the dangers of using too much hair gel. Or "Ho Gay (a)re" where AB comes out of the closet as a jolly gay man.
(For all of you who think this is pure gibberish, it's not. It's just a really bad Bengali/English play on words.)

-die Fraulein

Purna said...

Frau, if JP has to open..that will be quite a disaster!

I like the second song. Although Ashy P won't be able to put together more than 16 words if he rapped :P. Are you Bengali or speak the language???!

Anonymous said...

No, I've just grown up with Bollywood movies and songs and studied linguistics. (I can't speak many languages, but I can fake it...)

JP opening would be a disaster, yes. They need to think outside the box. Someone put them in an oversized hamster-wheel and make them run until they have the solution! (If the solution includes dropping Ashy, that doesn't count as a solution).


-Frau

Aditya said...

Some facts for you to chew upon!

India hasn't lost a test match under MSD and don't expect any happy pitches like Ahmedabad of 2008.
You will get the Dustbowls of Kanpur (2008) MUHAHAHA
And Hauritz had partial success in ODI's he would have been flogged in Tests!

Every spinner gets screwed in India incl the great Warne and Murali!

With Ishant finding his groove back it could not get any better.

Matches are schedules in Nagpur and Kolkata where India has a very good record.

I would be dissapointed with anything other than a 2-0 win or India, but their tendency to draw matches forces me to believe it will be 1-0 !

The ODI series will be really competitive given the Indians collapse very often these days and their clueless bowling !

@Sid and Purna
Good to see some DC fans like me :) .There are too many supporters of Delhi out there.

Purna said...

Frau, Mickey won't run on the wheel. He will just call a press conference and tell the world how the Indians aren't doing what they are doing :P. Maybe Hash will open, still not the best idea but better than anything else. Then Prince cal play at 4/5 (AB can be switched around) and JP at 6.
I'm curious, where are you from Frau?

Adi, ooooh you are making it harder for us eh? And obviously to retain your top spot. I like it. However,
Ishant will lose it again, I am sure of it.
The test will also be a close contest I believe.
There's a first for everything... even MSD :P.
We don't have grea spinners!! They are ordinary ones so maybe they will be fine ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm Norwegian, but grew up in Durban, SA, in an Indian neighborhood (I was literally the only white girl for miles). I went to a catholic girls school run by Irish nuns and have lived a year and a half in England. I now live in Norway.

So I support South Africa, then Bangladesh, Ireland on st Paddy's day, and England on the side (except Pietersen and Trott. But especially not Pietersen).

I support Bangladesh and not India, bacause as much as I love bollywood films and Shah Rukh Khan, I just can't stomach the BCCI.

I chose the nickname "die Fraulein" in response to Amy's legendary blogpost "die AB, die".

There's noone where I live I can really talk about cricket with, so I get my daily fix here.

-die Fraulein

Wes said...

Ha!
Er du vaksinert mot kvalme?
Stuepike drypper!

But I take your signature personally :P

Purna said...

What did Wes say??

Anonymous said...

He/she asked me if I had been vaccinated against nausea, then he/she told me the chamber maid was dripping.

-Frau

Wes said...

Your Norwegian is pretty good, Frau *ducks and covers*
How came you moved from Pomland to Norway? Don't get me wrong, it's a good decision :P

Anonymous said...

Well Wes, I am Norwegian, so it should be...

I married a Norwegian, so I kind of picked a man, and the country followed from that.

-Frau

Wes said...

Oh yes I misread your post, apologies.
Wonderful.
Do you miss South Africa? I mean it isn't exactly blazing hot in Norway.
But you live in the epicentre of great Metal music hehe. Probably the greatest in entire Europe, apart from a few British bands.