"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Because Newton didn't eat the apple

Think about it. If Newton had just looked at the bloody apple and thought "Oooh food", generations of poor students wouldn't have had to go through the torture of learning about gravity. Including me.

Shahid Afridi bit the bloody ball. Now instead of ruining their brains with big text books, generations of physics students will go on youtube to watch the video and feel better about their small brains.

Microbiology students will write their theses on the number of bacteria, fungi and virus that now reside inside Afridi's mouth in a complex symbiotic relationship that may or may not give rise to a whole new class of microorganisms. Some of them flesh eating.

Most importantly, the next generation of Pakistanti cricket players will be inspired to come up with innovative ideas to tamper with the ball. Afridi merely took the brave fall of the first try. Others will learn from this and succeed. Maybe rub the ball against their stuble or sneez into it to give it shine.

So why make fun of the guy who bit into something red and round in clear sight of the whole world, to give us many happy hours? No, no, no. Mourn that Newton didn't do the same.

10 comments:

Aditya said...

Oh well,If only Newton's Apple were white!

Heights of desperation shown by afridi!Poor old chap was just trying to win a game!

2 t20i's ban is very liberal to say the least considering Dhoni got a 2 ODI ban for slow over rates!

Sidthegnomenator said...

I totally agree - a two match ban?!?! Maybe it's because I'm an Aussie, but I think he should be tarred and feathered and dragged through the streets of Perth attached to the back of a donkey.

And then given a 2 match ban.

Wes said...

I totally disagree with all of you!!!!
Wes' blog: Afridi my hero!

missjane said...

Thought; we could combine the punishment for Afridi and the *#$%! pitch invader and have a public no-holds-barred fight in Forrest Place. Put them both in a cage and see who comes out: Afridi gets to use his spikes and his teeth, and the tackler has to be drunk.

Seriously, undecided on the two match ban; banning him from T20s could have an impact on the bank account, right before the IPL and all...

Nathan said...

Sid, MissJane; I like how you two think! Drag him down into Forrest Chase with the donkey; bonk bonk bonk down the stairs!

Purna said...

Bahaha! You lot are such sadists. Awesome!

But I like the invader. I was happy for him. Got his face on cricinfo, television.

MissJane, you should have invaded the pitch and given Mitchy a haircut!

missjane said...

Dammit, Purna, why didn't I think of that?? He was fielding right in front of us too... he waved to the crowd but was strangely unobliging in taking his shirt off, as a number of us were requesting. I didn't even think to *tell* him to get a haircut. *hangs head in shame*

I think that means Sid and I are even now.

And Purn, you'll note that all the sadists are from WA: gotta be tought out West. (she writes, in her airconditioned office...)

missjane said...

PS: It would've been an interesting test of security too: "why do you need these scissors, ma'am?" "well, see..."

I could definitely outrun them tho; if I was sober, that is. Probly couldn't outrun Mitch, mind you; he's pretty quick.

missjane said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Purna said...

I would have just cut his shirt into a nice fashionable one if he had asked me about the scissors.

Mitchy didn't want to reveal the marks his karate girlfriend left on his body with all the kicking and chopping.

Oh my god, my site has been invaded by West Aussies!