"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Of numbers

Yesterday, in the wild caves of SCG Twatto went bollocks and scored a breezy 69. I can now digress completely from the cricket and make very obvious jokes about that being the total number of positions in Twatto's favourite game- stylish ways of racing to the change room when you are about to make a hundred.

But I am not. I am instead going to draw your attention to what Twatto did when he realized that someone else in the waters of Mirpur had the exact opposite numbers. Mahmudullah was on 96 against the Indians in Bangladesh and had just dragged his team from another artistic 106/6 to 233/9.

I must tell you that Twatson's radar is like a minx, always turned on but seriously up and running at the mere hint of the 90's. He also listens to the Backstreet Boys. Don't ask me how I know that. I just do and I now I must bathe in holy water. If it will take me.

Anyway, so obviously Twatto's radar twitched and let him know that a young Bangladeshi promising all-rounder was about to make his maiden century, and he wasn't even nervous, or standing wide eyed at the crease as if he had just finished counting the number of hair on Ricky Ponting's hands. Worse, the 23 year old Deshi was playing a test.

"Fuck no"! Said Twatto. "Get him out. C'mon my Indian brothers. I will elbow you know more".

It didn't work, because nobody likes Shane Watson. He is neither Hayden or Gilchrist. And they are already suffering from massive strokes having welcomed those two in their bosoms.

So Twatto signalled another to hater, Durbhajan Singh.

Durby entered, Durby bowled and Durby got the other batsman out. Yes, evidently Twatto is smart enough to realize that there was another batsman on the pitch with Mahmudullah. Maybe he has enrolled himself in the Simon Katich school of fucking Twatto look at the other end.

And so Mahmudullah was left stranged on 96. Just because Twatto go out on 69. India were also inspired by Twatto and finished the day on 69/0.

You would think those are the only numbers in the world.

7 comments:

Gaurav Sethi said...

For a moment I thot, desh got 233 in the first test too - what short memories we have, it was 242, clearly they had that score in mind.

Purna said...

Maybe they thought it's how you remain consistent.

Aditya said...

and what is with Shakib loving the 30's.He could have been in the international spotlight had he performed against India in tests!

Gambhir also came agonizingly close to the number!

and Bangladesh should seriously consider reversing their batting order!

Purna said...

Wel proves that he still has a LOT to learn. Good for him. At least now his talent won't go to his head.

I swear. Our top order is just pure vomit if Tamim and Imrul don't get going.

Anonymous said...

Am I really the only person who likes Twatto (except his mum)? Although the Backstreet Boys revelation is worrying ...

Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

Well Sid obviously you have taken over this job from me ;)

Purna said...

Sid, I made up that Backstreet Boys revelation. Except not really because Binga listens to them and Twatto and Binga are guitar mates. So he is guilty by association.