"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Sledgefest: Joe Denly

I'm preparing. Stacking up on ammo. Getting ready to watch the games on my television...

It's quite pathetic I know. But this is how I watch my teams. From the land of the Igloos, in the wee hours of the morning, sipping coffee and fighting to stay awake! I don't get to wear fancy colours, wave banners or sledge the opposition. At least not on the field. So I am going to sledge them on my blog. They won't hear it, but I'll ignore that part. There's no need to get technical here right?

Onto the sledgefest. First up Joe Denly. Let me warn you I am not Australian, so some of these might not be good. Neverthelss, I'll start with his nickname, which appears to be No Pants.

"No Pants, No Balls"
"It gets drafty in the middle with No Pants"
"His mommy didn't make him no pants"
"Why are you so shitty? Is it because your name is no pants?"

This will do for now. It's just the beginning after all.


Anonymous said...

I started the new phenomenon of "text sledging" during the Ashes, but it fell down because the players didn't follow Jason Gillespie's lead and carry their iphones out onto the field with them.

I just abused my England supporting friends instead.

But Joe Denly - I have to think about this one.

He's not quite at puberty, so there's some ammo there; he looks more like Haley Joel Osment (sp?) than my NMH does (BTW!!) so there's is that.

Is his nickname really no-pants? WTF??

Purna said...

You and I can cyber sledge the Poms and send it to them through twitter. Since it's there, we might as well make some use out of it.

I don't have any England supporting friends to abuse...:(.

Yes, I thought about the puberty stricken face but that will come when I sledge Broad.His nickname is indeed no pants. It's even on his Cricinfo profile! Imagine the embarrassment!

SarahCanterbury said...

Purna, you couldn't have got this more wrong! I was out with friends from the Club on a team night out a while back & we all ended up in a nightclub. There was much jollification & whilst I missed what prompted it, I did catch a rather eyes wide opening "moment" - I can assure you that Joe has absolutely NOTHING to be embarrassed about! Quite the opposite!

Plus he coined the nickname himself. You'll need to find another tack for him if you want any sledging to be worth the bother!

Purna said...

HAHA. Hi Sarah, welcome.That's quite a story! Btw, I love your job...and your pictures.

Oooh, a challenge! Alright, I'll put my thinking cap on till I get this right!

SarahCanterbury said...

Thank you!

I can add to this tale, if you can cope with the idea of more "Joe Flesh"?! My friend and I (SixSixEight - you may have come across her on cricket blogs??) have a nickname of our own for him: The Torso... Coined after he took his t-shirt off to throw to me from the Kent balcony at the end of the 2008 season. Fair to say we've never quite recovered from the vision - his girlfriend is a very lucky lady!! He's actually a thoroughly nice lad too.

I'd like to do a bit of reciprocal backslapping, if I may?! IN SPITE of the fact that you are mostly HORRIBLE about my beloved cricketing countrymen, I really like your blog and it makes me giggle. Very glad to be here!

I wait with amusement to see what you come up with for Joe.....

Purna said...

So does he have a crush on you or do you have a crush on him? Wait, you aren't his girlfriend are you? Shit!

Yes Six dropped by here once. I said something unsavoury about Broad not realizing she is English..she never came back!

HAHA. Thank you, it's nice to know we can enjoy each other's blogs despite supporting different teams. Yes of course by all means go ahead! Let's have a sledging match? Since there are no games to watch! Do you want to be a guest blogger?

SarahCanterbury said...

NEITHER! I am considerably older than him and his girlfriend (definitely not me!) is blonde and glamorous!

Haha, bless her! Am slightly surprised as she's not usually one to run from a verbal sparring and Broad isn't particularly one of her faves. Now if you'd insulted a Durham player.....

We can indeed. As for a sledging match, I can assure you now that you will win! You are far wittier than I and definitely have more to say - I just stick pictures up on my site. Far easier!

Am most flattered ref the guest blogger suggestion but for the reasons above, recoiling pathetically in fright at the thought! If I have a sudden renaissance & think of something, you'll be the first to know!

By the way, have a fair few more Saffer pics up my sleeve for the coming months, so to speak. One day I might even tell you which one I served pizza to in my kitchen.....!!

Purna said...

HAHA. I'm sure you are better than you give yourself credit for. But do let me know if you have an epiphany. This series has such big gaps in between, we really need to find other ways to keep ourselves entertained.

Sarah Canterbury please tell me it's not Shaun Pollock! But do tell me how that happened! Seriously, I love your job!

SarahCanterbury said...

No, not Shaun Pollock. Only ever seen him play once - for Durham on T20 Finals Day last year.

You can find me on Twitter under this name and I'll DM you!

Purna said...

I love Shaun Pollock. I want to put him in a glass case and watch him bowl all day long.

I am in vehement denial of twitter. Although I was also in vehement denial of facebook for 1 year and then I caved...so I might give in to twitter too. But not yet!

SarahCanterbury said...

I hated Shaun Pollock - only in a crickety sense. Sure he's a very nice chap! Would like to have seen him play more and was chuffed I did eventually.

I'm on facebook, too, though I prefer Twitter these days. Sarah Ansell on there - profile pic is me at The Oval, taken not long after our triumph there, actually! I was at JRod & Mims's wedding.