"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Monday, November 9, 2009

Win a date with Mark Verdon Boucher

Once upon a time South Africa's starting line up was incomplete without the little man with gorgeous eyes. But I admit with a heavy heart that that was the Boucher of yesterday. Something is wrong with him, something is seriously wrong with him. Lately, I just close my eyes shut when he comes to bat because it is so painful to watch...and because I know I don't have to keep them shut for long. Bouch will be on his merry way and sure enough, he usually is. On top of that, his wicket-keeping is lacking the aggression and energy that it used to have. Maybe it's because of his batting form or maybe because he is turning 33 soon. Maybe it's the girlfriend that he broke up with after infinite years.

Either way it is a sad thing. I love Bouch, he is the coolest cricketer alive. I can't picture South Africa without him. Also Jakes, Hersch and him are the last three surviving players from Hansie's era, the era I love so much. But despite all this love, Bouch needs to pick up his game since the selectors seem to be so short in patience these days.

I have decided that I am going to help him get his mojo back in the only way I know. Bouch has been generously running a dating agency on his site for the single boys in his team for some time now. It's time we do something for him. Therefore I am starting a dating agency of my own, exclusively for Mark Boucher. Trust me he is a catch. If you are interested please send the following information my way:

Name
Age (not really a deciding factor, Bouch likes 22 year old kids)
Location (also not a crucial factor with CSA's bank balance around)
Occupation
Special Skills
Favourite Food (there is only one correct answer and it is crucial)
Rate your interest in Cricket on a scale of 1-10
Rate your love for the Proteas on a scale of 1-10
Are you willing to cook for Mark's best mate Jacques (who in turn will mow your lawn)?
Your feelings on Shamone Jardim, Jacques' Girlfriend
How you plan to break-up the friendship between Mark and Biff?
How do you feel about this picture?


Note, none of the applications will go through Mark because I know what's best for him. Good luck ladies!

23 comments:

Silly mid on said...

How lucky of Bouch to score a date with luscious Morne!

Mary Jane said...

Go on a date with Mark 'Burden' Boucher, leaving my AB baby?? No thank you.

Purna said...

Sil, so do you want to date Boucher?

MJ, think about it. If Bouch goes, AB baby will become the next wicket-keeper. Then his batting might not go to well. So you will end up hating him. This is all for your best interest dear.

Mary Jane said...

I'll love my AB even if he gets duck in every innings he plays. Mind it oh people of the world!

Sujith said...

Ladies!

Chuck both MB and AB- Ajit AGARKAR is THE MAN! :-)

morethanjustagame.wordpress.com

Gabrielle said...

MJ consider it a chance to get closer to AB...after all he and Bouch are good mates :-)

Purna said...

MJ, I'm with Gabrielle on this one. You and AB house-sitting Mark's place together...you like?

Sujith, Agarkar's ears are so big that you can see ones afterlife through them. Not pleasant on a date.

Mary Jane said...

Nice offer guys. I seriously gotta think about this one!!
BUT, Do I really need to go on a date with BOUCHER (aghhh!) for getting hold of this awesome package of house-keeping his house with AB?? Please, dont punish me by saying yes :(

Gabrielle said...

Well MJ you can pretend you're going out with Bouch and then you can dump him and escape with AB...ok I know it's a tad mean,but it's the only option that came to my mind at the moment!

Purna said...

LOL Gabrielle, that is so horrible. But a little funny too. Hehe.

MJ, you could try dating AB and not take the detour, but you will have to deal with competition from a lot of people. Why not let them rip each other's heart out while you take the Boucher route?

Mary Jane said...

Ok. But it'll take some time for me to make up my mind, on whether I can tolerate that Old man just for the sake of AB's love or not.

Hahaha poor old Boucher and poor old dating service of your, dear Purny. Not even a single girl stepped up to go on a date with the lad! Lol!
Just replace the dating offer to 'go on a date with AB' instead of Bouch, and your dating service will be up and running!!

Purna said...

Just look into the Old man's eyes MJ, everything will be tolerable.

Look at what my dating service did though, he got 31 runs and two catches! I think you should tease him a little more MJ, just till the Poms are beaten. For the Proteas. Deal?

Mary Jane said...

Fine! Deal

madi B said...

im new here...n I LOVE BOUCH n AB too ... :-)

Purna said...

Madi, all Bouch and AB lovers are welcome. Unless you also love AB for his singing.

Anonymous said...

i love ab ...hes fab...hah i love the wordings of his song but beleive me if u wud have seen the vdo u wud have died out laughing im telling DIED out laughing ...its hillarious !!

Purna said...

Anon, where can I find this video?

Anonymous said...

my friend send me a link to it ...some beta.com stuff ...where they show ab's childhood pix n all the interview with his family memebers n tht gay frind of his ....ampie du preez

Anonymous said...

http://beta.mnet.co.za/fanclub/Kwela/FanClubArticle.aspx?ClubId=12&AId=21061
check it out !!

Purna said...

LOL. I've actually seen that one. I didn't understand a word because I don't know Afrikaans but yes, that video is outrageous!

What are they saying Anon? And how long will you remain Anon?!

Anonymous said...

haha i understood very little bout wat they said coz im still learning afrikaans....hehe
wud rather remain anon ...dont wanna get into trouble....many ppl know me :-p

Purna said...

Many people in the blog world? Or are you in some wanted list?

Anonymous said...

many ppl as in the ones who visit blogs regularly.......newayz....will be sticking to ur blog now..coz i find it the next best thing after amy's website :-)...cheers !!