Once upon a time South Africa's starting line up was incomplete without the little man with gorgeous eyes. But I admit with a heavy heart that that was the Boucher of yesterday. Something is wrong with him, something is seriously wrong with him. Lately, I just close my eyes shut when he comes to bat because it is so painful to watch...and because I know I don't have to keep them shut for long. Bouch will be on his merry way and sure enough, he usually is. On top of that, his wicket-keeping is lacking the aggression and energy that it used to have. Maybe it's because of his batting form or maybe because he is turning 33 soon. Maybe it's the girlfriend that he broke up with after infinite years.
Either way it is a sad thing. I love Bouch, he is the coolest cricketer alive. I can't picture South Africa without him. Also Jakes, Hersch and him are the last three surviving players from Hansie's era, the era I love so much. But despite all this love, Bouch needs to pick up his game since the selectors seem to be so short in patience these days.
I have decided that I am going to help him get his mojo back in the only way I know. Bouch has been generously running a dating agency on his site for the single boys in his team for some time now. It's time we do something for him. Therefore I am starting a dating agency of my own, exclusively for Mark Boucher. Trust me he is a catch. If you are interested please send the following information my way:
Age (not really a deciding factor, Bouch likes 22 year old kids)
Location (also not a crucial factor with CSA's bank balance around)
Favourite Food (there is only one correct answer and it is crucial)
Rate your interest in Cricket on a scale of 1-10
Rate your love for the Proteas on a scale of 1-10
Are you willing to cook for Mark's best mate Jacques (who in turn will mow your lawn)?
Your feelings on Shamone Jardim, Jacques' Girlfriend
How you plan to break-up the friendship between Mark and Biff?
How do you feel about this picture?
Note, none of the applications will go through Mark because I know what's best for him. Good luck ladies!