"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Thursday, November 19, 2009


At long last the England tour of SA has started. The T20 games were just a tease. THIS is the real deal. The reason I won't feel bad for not studying for exams and then tearing my hair out. It's all worth it. Especially if the Saffas win.

I don't make predictions when it comes to my own team...because they usually go badly (remember the Champions Trophy/Champions League? sigh!). But I will tell you who I am looking forward to watching in the upcoming series.

1) Jimmy vs Dale: One has a kid, one has imaginary grand kids. Both can swing the ball but both have been erratic as of late. Jimmy a little less than Dale, but he has the knee to blame...and tiring wars with Swann on twitter. I am going to say something traitorous right now that you all will read and promptly forget: I like Jimmy as a bowler. He is the only Pom that I can tolerate. Shocked, dazed, forgotten? Good. Moving on...

2) Strauss vs Buffalo: As much as Graeme looks like a buffalo, Strauss is the one with cow brains. And I reject the hypothesis that cows are intelligent animals. They are inferior to buffaloes anyway. Strauss is one of those players I dislike, despite knowing that he is a good cricketer. His captaincy, I feel, is yet to be proven. He didn't do anything revolutionary in the Ashes. There was no need with the Aussies being determined to beat themselves. But he does seem to be able to bring out the best in his players unlike his deputy. Graeme's team is great to begin with, so he has very little to do with them being awesome. But he is contributing regularly as a batsman these days which helps. Plus, I am really hoping Strauss gets a cramp and Graeme decides to break ICC rules and give him a runner...on the condition that the runner is Owais Shah!

3) Swann vs ROFL: This is the only reason I want Swann to recover fast from his injury. Just to prove that ROFL is far more interesting than him and a better spinner. I get this feeling ROFL is the only individual that can convince Swann to give up twittering with his psycho-like expressions. If that doesn't work, we can always depend on the alien living inside ROFL to show Swann the finger and tell him that he sucks.

4) Albie vs Eoin: I also like Eoin Morgan, but only because of his background. I am incapable of hating on anybody with any relation to Ireland. It's Bono. He has clouded my judgement. All I want to see is who can hit the ball further. The one that hits a six all the way to Canada is going to have a glacier named after them. Albertus Glacier. Sounds like a nice peace offering from the Canadians to the Romans.

5) KP vs Trott: Who will make a better effort to secure a place in Vaughan's next book? Who will stand up to the booing crowds better? In fact, who still holds the interest of the Saffers enough to be made fun of, which Flower is sure they are waiting to do? Something tells me no one is winning this one.


Nathan said...

Should be a great one-sided, sadistic poundi-erm... I mean, a great match up!

Anonymous said...

Can I make a prediction? There is so much rain no one gets to play anything.

"Strauss is the one with cow brains" - you don't do cows any favours there.

Vim said...

Strauss is an excellent cricketer, the trouble is he is so boring I can never think of a classy shot or a memorable innings that he has ever played.

It's a bit like Mahela J for Sri Lanka. Admirable, ballsy and vital for their team, but non-memorable in terms of watchability as a player.

Thiru Cumaran said...

Mark my words, ROFL is going to really burst some nerves in his neck and his head is going to burst like a squashed tomato if he doesn't get rid of those celebrations which look more like he's constipating! :P

I wasn't really going to support any team for this tour..just wanted to enjoy the spectacle. However, Mickey's sound bites have rubbed me up the wrong way and so I'm going for a 5-0 and 4-0 win in the ODIs and test for England! :D

scorpicity said...

"I like Jimmy as a bowler. He is the only Pom that I can tolerate"

Gaaaaaaw.... my eyes my eyes...Gaaaw.

Purna said...

Nathan, you Aussies would love a one-sided sadistic pounding eh?

Sid, I am so pissed off with all these washouts!
No? What is the appropriate way to apologise to cows?

Vim, I don't even watch Strauss. I watch the bowlers and pray that they get his wicket! But I don't watch batsmen anyway (unless its Hersch). I love bowlers and all-rounders more. Cricket already loves the batsmen, why give them any more?

CT, even if his head bursts like a squash tomato, ROFL will celebrate! 5-0 and 4-0!! Very optimistic CT. That is all I am going to say ;).

Scorpi, use soap. It helps.

scorpicity said...

Oh it was in jest Purna... Cheers

Purna said...

LOL. I know scorpi, I was doing some 'jesting' of my own.