"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Another Broad interview

I came across another Stuart Broad interview. I have great respect for interviewers that chat with Broad. It must take a lot of will power to sit there, stare at his puberty-plagued face and ask him serious questions. Then stop themselves from laughing out loud at his answers.

I realized from this interview that poor little Broady knows that he is continuously emasculated by everybody. Why else would he open the interview with this?

My life changed forever the first time I went to the southern hemisphere. It was one of those 'I went there a boy and came back a man' experiences. I was 17 and I headed off on my own to Melbourne to play district cricket and I ended up also working as a landscape gardener. It was an overblown job title because I was basically a labourer. I just mixed cement but I loved it. I turned out to be a very good cement-mixer."

If you got a picture of Broad pouting like Ben Stiller in Zoolander and coughing effeminately because of all the dust from cement-mixing, you have the correct reaction. I am just wondering how the Aussies will feel when they find out that Stuey thinks they turned him into a man. I personally find it distressing that such a young man has fallen into the evil clutches of drugs.

The interview also reveals that Broad thinks he is more like Shaun Pollock than Andrew Flintoff. I am not making this up. If I was, I would never offend Polly like this.

We handled the whole 'new Flintoff' thing by pointing out that we're such different players at different stages of our career. Shaun Pollock is actually the best role model for me as a very good attritional bowler. I might be six foot six but that doesn't mean I can play a Steve Harmison role and bounce people out. And I'm very different to Fred. I'm much more in Pollock's mould and as a batsman, at No 8, he always made useful contributions and scored the odd Test hundred.

Even when they are not born in South Africa, the Poms want to be like the Saffers. How sad for the Queen. And while I am delighted that Freddie is being snubbed by his own players, I find the Pollock parallel to be downright insulting. "More in Pollock's mould"...fuck you! Pollock started his international career at 23. You've had about a five years head start and you are still basking in crap. I don't know how that makes sense, but it sure sounds funny. Stuey is crappy. Those words were meant to be.

Why are people getting excited about Broad's one hit wonder in the Ashes at HOME?
Even MC Hammer didn't evoke this much hype. And he had girls shaking booty to his epic song.


Leela said...

puberty-plagued face
Lol! Vintage!

Vim said...

They are getting excited about Ashes-hero Broad as they can't about Ashes-hero Fred anymore. You know how they secretly don't care what else they lose if they win the Ashes. They have that little self-respect.

So far in his career, he has been called England's McGrath, Sobers, fuck knows who else, but obviously fancies himself as Pollock. I agree, it's bloody cheek.

But then this is a natiion that assumes greatness on potential only. A nation that were comparing Bopara to SRT and keeps calling James Anderson the best swing bowler in the world. Conveniently forgetting that Dale Steyn swings the ball.

So what can you expect?

Your lot better flog them back into submission.

Anonymous said...

Broad is the shit, I so love Broad, he is the man, the ashes man, the one we love, the one we all love.

Broad Broad Broad Broad is wonderful.

Shit, I hate Broad.

Purna said...

Leela, thanks :).

Vim, you know when you see a person and you just want to strangle them? That's Freddie to me. The guy is so fucking over-rated. I'm glad he never delivered and I am pretty sure Broad wont either. Compared to McGrath and Sobers? Do they even know who they are and what they represent?
And if SRT is Tendulkar than I suggest somebody shoot the British press.

KK, I'm glad you are back just in time to hate on the Pommies with me.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I just went through Vim's post. They consider Anderson to be the best swing bowler in the world?

That is too sick to even digest.

Purna said...

KK, I know eh? Jimmy's actually not a bad bowler by English standards, but they really put the h in hype.