Rotten Australia

Playing with the emotions of a billion Indian fans like that! Scoundrels! Bastards!

First, Brett's tweety was enough to disturb Boom Boom, so Witchy got his wicket. Then Akmal slammed them all over the place. During the course of which, Hauritz dropped a catch and acted like he was really distraught. I thought he was seriously over-acting, just in case Australia lost the match and he could tell everybody how much he was beating himself up for it. I think you'll be better off apologizing for your spin Ritz. They don't care about your crappy fielding. They don't care about you, period.

To make Ritz look worse, Witchy Mitchy took a most difficult catch.It was so stunning that Crapinfo has a special picture to demonstrate how the catch was completed, in steps.

Step 1: Close your eyes and pray
Step 2: Open your eyes to confirm that you caught the ball and not your knuckles
Step 3: Pretend you knew you were going to catch it all along

Seriously, I know it's difficult to judge when the ball is so high and you have to run back. He did well. But what is so fantastic about this catch? Australia is expected to take such catches, specially with the American making them work so hard. Although, he needs to spend a little more time with Paine. The guy is like a frog without the sticky stuff.

I went to sleep for the rest of Pakistan's innings. They didn't score runs and they didn't lose wickets at regular intervals. So I decided it was a good idea to take my 5am nap.

Then the Aussies came to bat, needing only 206. You would think the would cruise through it, which they nearly were...with Hussey of all people, leading the chase. I think I've solved the Mystery of the Withering Hussey. He had amnesia. Now he doesn't anymore. Convinced? Neither am I.

But as soon as they realized that the Indians were watching, Ricky and his rotten men started their Shakespearean drama. The top order walked back to the change-room together and the middle order practically sprinted past them. They even gave Malik a wicket. Then Brett Lee came, the master of all Australian actors. The situation was stabilizing and it looked like the Aussies were going to win after all, but Binga knows how to entertain the Indians. He starred in a Bollywood movie. So he asked Witchy to go back. All of the sudden the Indians realized that Aus needed 17 runs, and their hopes lied on the shoulders of a fast bowler and a wannabe spinner. So starts the nail biting, the praying and the racing heart-beats.

Will they? Won't they? Will they? Won't they..........Will they?

They will. They were always going to. They just wanted to help your population problem with a few heart attacks.

I better be winning an Oscar for this...

The only downside to this story is that we have to watch a England vs Australia game...again!