Sehwag is injured again

Last year this time, Virender Sehwag sustained an injury. This year, Sehwag has also sustained an injury. Three things remain consistent in this monotonous story: the IPL, the T20 WC and Sehwag's shoulder.

Sehwag's shoulder, if you don't know is a portal to the future. It sensed that India was going to exit in the second round and Gary Kirsten was going to blame the IPL. So it gave away to fatigue. Lactic acid buildup, muscle breakdown, colour going from blue to purple to black...the shoulder went through the whole works. It meant Sehwag got a full four to five months vacation. But of course, on paper it was pure torture for the Sehwag. He lives to play cricket after all.

This year, the shoulder looked through its looking glass again and realized India was about to make another early exit and Gary Kirsten was going to blame it on the IPL again. Might be the last time after all. What if there is no IPL next year? So on command, the shoulder has collapsed. This year, Sehwag's vacation will be a little bit sweeter because now he does not have to add to his repertoire of crappy shots that will get you out. The shoulder will get a treat for its wonderful work.

Very soon others will be injured and we will all cry "Too much cricket!". Then Umar Gul will come limping and say, "But I haven't played cricket in months!". We will scratch our heads and look for more evidence and come up with nothing. Because really, when was the last time a test match was played? When is the next test match? We don't know. But there is still too much cricket, otherwise why would Sehwag be injured twice in a row just before the World T20 and midway/after the IPL?

Throughout all of this Virender Sehwag will sit in at home playing Oongli (finger) Cricket. It doesn't require his shoulders, but it does require the rest of the Indian squad to come home so they can have a good game going. But that is not a problem either. As long as they have the IPL to blame.

Things

I realize I've been a bit rubbish lately with replying back to comments and posting in general. A proper post is long overdue, but that is not about to happen unfortunately, because my darling laptop has added to my exam woes. It basically means I'll be around, with a post here and there, but not really. Kind of like Michael Hussey's batting.

While I am here now, I have to mention Sehwag's 293, I must mention Sehwag's 293. What the fuck was that? It might have been seven short of a triple but it is definitely not short of a cult status. Sehwag's 293. Just mention those two words and generations of cricket lovers will know what you are talking about.

I must also mention the new triad in town, Aamer, Asif and Gul. The third is there against my wishes, but the bastard did reduce the Kiwis to pulp. Bah! At least if Pakistan win this, we'll have a good test series.

For a little Saffa connection, I'll throw Mark Boucher in there, whose birthday I missed. Bouchy turned 33 yesterday. I'm hoping the Saffers give him a birthday present in the form of tossed up Brits. Although I'm slightly nervous about the last game because the weather forecast is rain. And rain is a little bitch when it comes to the Saffers.

This is where I will stop for today. Now that I have scored a painful little nothing, in true Hussey style, I must retire.

Just trying to send someone a message.

Declare

Dravid got his century and Tendulkar is out. They have 464 runs on the board.

Now can India declare? Or are they waiting for Modi's orders?

In comes VVS Laxman.

*switches t.v. off*

Some time later...

527/4.

zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Wake up! Dan has started batting again!

*dances around in joy*

Umar Gul better sleep with one eye open tonight...NZ is but a mere 18 hours away...

Ideal Test Day

As Sri Lanka and India pile on runs after runs, I can't help but be more interested in the Kiwi vs Pak game. Note, the Indians scoring in abundance today has more to do with the Lankans and their ineffective bowling, but nevertheless, there is nothing great about teams reaching three-four hundred on Day 1. It is expected, i.e. boring. Specially when the first test made zombies wish they had never come alive.

So I prefer to focus on the other game. Reasons:

1. The match started with a yorker from a seventeen year old that resulted in a wicket. That seventeen year old is becoming my favourite player to watch. Considering his country has produced Wasim Akram, his talent is not surprising. But it is worrying that his country has also produced Shoaib Akhtar, whose sole focus since god knows when has been to entertain off the field rather than on it. I honestly don't want Aamer to waste his talent on acquiring gential warts but if Shoaib decides to mend his ways, it may have to happen...to carry on Shoaib's legacy.

2. After two wickets, there was a Kiwi fightback. Ross Taylor did extremely well to get his team back on track and then fell six runs short of his century. Talk about prime time drama.

3. Pakistan picked up six wickets. None of them went to Umar Gul. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

4. The day ended with yet another Kiwi fightback. This could become a Spartan war. Unfortunately without 300 abs.

5. Daniel Vettori is at the crease and should be getting a 50. Baz is also there, but I am blissfully ignoring him.

Let's take a picture of this day and fax it to India.

Thank you, come again!

Grant Elliott's message to Pakistan. He was being a good host of course. Confused? Grant Elliot is a born Saffer who left the country in 2001. And you thought I only supported the Kiwis because of their badly-bearded, magnificent captain. Well, I didn't. They have the South African connection. Actually, I didn't know till a few hours ago that he was a Saffer, but I am going to pretend anyway. And don't you dare suggest that by that theory, I should be a supporting England as well. They went to the nation that thinks all of cricket is defined by one miserable urn...the contents of which are not even properly known! So it's not happening.

Right, back to Grant Elliott. How awesome is he? Playing the role of a stabilizer while the wickets were tumbling and then unleashing like the starving lions in my basement at the right time. Scoring 16 AMAZING runs off Umar Gul. Gul the fool had no answers to the belting. And he is supposed to be Pakistan's best death bowler. Beaten to a pulp by a Saffer. It warmed my heart and brought the temperature up to a wonderful zero degrees.

Clearly he was bowling out of his...

Let's spare some love for the Kiwis now. Ian freaking Butler...what a man! Actually he isn't. He has under 30 wickets in his career so far and was only selected for the team when 007 got injured. He was also the softie who sat out the first part of the tournament because of a stomach bug. But he got the wickets of Akmal, Malik AND Afridi. The three Pak batsmen that could have let loose all hell on the Black Caps. Yup, shown to the door by a Butler all right! Okay that was terrible. But the Kiwis won and I don't care.

Again, no New Zealand post will be complete without the mentioning of Dan the man. So here we go. Three great wickets, a promotion of himself up the order and 41 runs told us what we already knew. Dan is the most cleverest Kiwi alive. And he is the real Harry Potter. One day, Kiwis everywhere will fly because of him.

A similar picture to the one below, and the type of wicket that lead to this pathetically arrogant celebration has haunted me since the semi-finals of the T20 World Cup. Now it just makes me laugh. A psychotic laughter that Afridi can clearly hear. Hence the lack of joy in his expression.

Champions trophy build up

Because we have waited too long...

Gul the fool in South Africa...revenge will be ours!

All Shoaibs must come with a warning...and a VD tag.

Chris Gayle without his shades

Don't look so surprised, you are indeed still a buffalo

Looking like a true Kiwi...

Only one more stupid ODI to go!