Of numbers

Yesterday, in the wild caves of SCG Twatto went bollocks and scored a breezy 69. I can now digress completely from the cricket and make very obvious jokes about that being the total number of positions in Twatto's favourite game- stylish ways of racing to the change room when you are about to make a hundred.

But I am not. I am instead going to draw your attention to what Twatto did when he realized that someone else in the waters of Mirpur had the exact opposite numbers. Mahmudullah was on 96 against the Indians in Bangladesh and had just dragged his team from another artistic 106/6 to 233/9.

I must tell you that Twatson's radar is like a minx, always turned on but seriously up and running at the mere hint of the 90's. He also listens to the Backstreet Boys. Don't ask me how I know that. I just do and I now I must bathe in holy water. If it will take me.

Anyway, so obviously Twatto's radar twitched and let him know that a young Bangladeshi promising all-rounder was about to make his maiden century, and he wasn't even nervous, or standing wide eyed at the crease as if he had just finished counting the number of hair on Ricky Ponting's hands. Worse, the 23 year old Deshi was playing a test.

"Fuck no"! Said Twatto. "Get him out. C'mon my Indian brothers. I will elbow you know more".

It didn't work, because nobody likes Shane Watson. He is neither Hayden or Gilchrist. And they are already suffering from massive strokes having welcomed those two in their bosoms.

So Twatto signalled another to hater, Durbhajan Singh.

Durby entered, Durby bowled and Durby got the other batsman out. Yes, evidently Twatto is smart enough to realize that there was another batsman on the pitch with Mahmudullah. Maybe he has enrolled himself in the Simon Katich school of fucking Twatto look at the other end.

And so Mahmudullah was left stranged on 96. Just because Twatto go out on 69. India were also inspired by Twatto and finished the day on 69/0.

You would think those are the only numbers in the world.

Give it up

If Watto is a joke, clap your hands
*clap clap*

If Watto made 93, clap your hands
*clap clap*

If Watto isn't injured
But he won't get a century
Never in a test match, clap your hands
*clap clap*

If Kato loves Watto, clap your hands
*clap clap*

If Kato made an error, clap your hands
*clap clap*

If Kato made 98
Then he felt the pressure
Despite being experienced, clap your hands
*clap clap*

P.S: Who is this guy wearing a head band and where is the real Aamer?

P.P.S: I will back with the SA post late at night...the joys of Boxing Day shopping!

Benn & Watto sitting in a tree

The Proposal and the Rejection

The Desperate Plea

The attempt to make Watto jealous

The Anger Management Phase

Watto's Kato Protection Program

Benn's Ultimate Rejection

Moral of the story is: never say no to a man who looks like Walsh. Even if he bowls spin.

A day of bad news

1) T&T lost and yet another Australian team took the trophy home. I get this feeling everybody is feeling really bad for Australia for losing the Ashes hence they are being nice. This is my way of denying the fact that the Aussies seem to have more or less recovered from their bad patch and may start their domination all over again. They are not nearly as fun to watch when they are not sucking. Although, I do want India to lose in the upcoming series so they will have to play well for the next seven games. Dammit!

2) No Moises vs KP. So not only did Kato ruin the final by winning, he did not give people a chance to watch Moises getting assaulted as well. Someone should teach Kato the responsibilities he has towards the people who come to watch the match. No one came to watch your team win Kato. They wanted some violence and you didn't allow it to happen. You will pay for this.

3) HERSCHELLE GIBBS AND MAKHAYA NTINI HAVE BEEN DROPPED FROM THE SOUTH AFRICAN ODI AND T20 SQUAD! This is the most terrible news of all! These are indications that the Saffers might be preparing for a WC11 without these two. They cannot force my Hersch into retirement! Those BASTARDS! If the Poms win this because the Saffers used inexperienced players I am going to feed Mike Procter to the starving lions in my basement. I probably should have done that when he decided to drop Morne. Then this would not have happened! I must admit Makhaya's exclusion was expected though. It's tough being a fast bowler in your 30's. But if Binga can do it Maky, so can you. So change your hairstyle and start giving 'I'm 100% ready' interviews!

I am upset with this day. If there is a tornado outside your window, it's my out of control rage.

I'm supporting NSW

Every team I supported in this Champions League had a good run and then crashed out! Barring Bangalore. But nobody expected them to get as far as they did in the first place, so they actually had a good tournament (HAHA!).

Now T&T seems to be doing the same. Losing to BRETT LEE. Not even NSW. One god damn tweety bird imitating, no ball producing machine. Spare me the best fast bowler in the world talk. I don't want to hear it.

So now, I'm switching gears in the hopes that my bad luck rub on NSW.

Go Kato! Bring that wonder boy Moises on so KP can claim him as his very own bitch!
Go Clark! Bowl your heart out because you won't get picked for the matches against India!
Go Philly and Dave! You can share wonderful domestic stories about your domestic games on the plane back home. I'm sure the passengers will be all ears!
Go Bollinger! Prove to the world that the ONLY reason you don't get picked for Australia is because your unfortunate genes prevent you from looking good on TV!


Yes, this is me being supportive. But my plan doesn't seem to be working!