Dear Santa, from the Windies

Dear Santa,

We are all going to write one letter because frankly, we don't get paid enough. It's because of all this five days nonsense on the field. I have to carry all my shades in my pockets so I can change them every half-an-hour. Also the outfits are so boring! In the IPL...

Chris, can I please ask for my gift before you start talking about the IPL? Thanks. Santa, I want Chris Gayle to become a freelancer and give up his test captaincy to me. If not that, at least give me an IPL contract mon! Leading Trinidad & Tobago is no easy job you know! Plus, I am better looking than him. Now if I were captain...

Oh shut up mon! Santa does not have so much time. Hi Santa! I actually want you to deliver some gifts for me. Here is a replica of my hand- it is designed to get in Johnson's way no matter where he is. And here's a replica of my face for Haddin's wife. I don't know mon, she asked for it. She said at least you are a soldier. My husband on the other hand...no I won't say it. Tis the season to be jolly. Okay bye. Chris, he has gotta go!

Wait..what's your name again? San-ta? Santa? Okay Santa, about the IPL. A flying sledge? I have one. I'll meet you up there in mine then, we'll chat IPL. Ho Ho Ho!

WICB: We're Indeed Chris' Bitches

What the fuck! Not only is Chris Gayle coming back to international cricket, he is CAPTAINING the West Indies once again. Darren Ganga, the man who showed the whole world that cricket is not dead in West Indies, has been overlooked because his batting is not up to par with international standards.

Agreed. He has a freaking miserable international average. But how can that be the major criteria to be captain? Batting average can be improved with practice. Can Gayle's arrogant, stubborn, fucking money-hungry nature be improved?

The West Indies players get next to nothing compared to other international cricketers and their cricket board is a fucking joke (they might have beaten PCB, BCB and BCCI!), so the strike wasn't completely unjustified. But nobody believes Gayle when he says things like 'It's always an honour to Captain West Indies'. He doesn't give a shit about his national team. I remember watching him against the Poms after he was pulled away from IPL2. WI was playing disgracefully and the fucker just stood there in the field looking completely disinterested as the Poms piled on runs. Probably counting the amount of money he was losing by not playing in the show-off galore in his head. And has he even guided the Windies to any series victories? Man, now I really wish Brian Lara was captain!

I am so fucking pissed! I want to know what kind of services Gayle has been providing the WICB while Ganga was away working hard to build his career. I am pretty sure it was the 'under the table' kind.