Those of you who watched Gilly and Gibbs bat will be saying the same thing.
Seriously?
There was once a 80 something year old woman crossing the street with groceries, shuffling quickly so she could reach the other end before the sign changed. She moved faster than Deccan's scoreboard in the whole match.
Seriously.
Ideally, these two players would not have played in the semis. But they did because Gilly is the captain and you can't drop the captain for bad form (But honestly, you should be allowed to in important matches!) and Gibbsy got a game purely because of his big-match kaboom reputation. It was a stinky, big-match kapoop performance.
Chennai bowled exceptionally well, but Deccan batted like cripples who have been further hindered by the neighbour's dogs latching onto their backside. Behind every unsuccessful Deccan batsman, there is a giant fucking labrador.
Seriously.
Now, Chennai are in the finals facing Mumbai and I am miserable. I dislike both teams and want neither to win. But if I HAD to pick (because of the same ass-grabbing labradors), I would go for Chennai. It was simply a case of who I hate more, Durby or teams that dress like Australians. Turns out Durby takes the cake. A big one. Smack on his face.
Unfortunately, I am cursed so this means Mumbai will win and I will frown ever so slightly because really, the best part of this IPL final is the fact that the T20 WC starts in seven days. IPL is O-V-E-R.
Seriously.
Showing posts with label CSK. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CSK. Show all posts
Friday, April 23, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Albie's day with the ball
So I finally decided to start watching the IPL. Actually I just got up early to watch my Dale bowl, but evidently, today is the day Albie has also decided to bowl. Against RCB and for CSK but oh my look at these figures.
4-0-28-1-7.00
That makes him CSK's third best bowler in today's game. But then again, who can really rank Murali? He is number one even when he is crap. So really, Albie was CSK's second best bowler today. The first being Tyagi. I am not being sarcastic. If you have watched Albie bowl, you will know what I am talking about.
The one wicket he got was that of Eoin Morgan. Now, I am no T20 expert but that is a big wicket. So good for Albie.
What does this mean? Nothing to me. I don't like CSK and Albie needs to perform for the Saffers to be in my good books again. Plus, he also kind of needs to perform with the bat too. I would hate for Albie to become 'that player who had one or two good moments and now plays only in the IPL'. But the way he is going...it may very well be so.
Just don't decide to start batting today, because my Dale needs to outbowl you. It's nothing personal, it's just that you look like an Oz player in yellow.
See, it's not personal at all.
4-0-28-1-7.00
That makes him CSK's third best bowler in today's game. But then again, who can really rank Murali? He is number one even when he is crap. So really, Albie was CSK's second best bowler today. The first being Tyagi. I am not being sarcastic. If you have watched Albie bowl, you will know what I am talking about.
The one wicket he got was that of Eoin Morgan. Now, I am no T20 expert but that is a big wicket. So good for Albie.
What does this mean? Nothing to me. I don't like CSK and Albie needs to perform for the Saffers to be in my good books again. Plus, he also kind of needs to perform with the bat too. I would hate for Albie to become 'that player who had one or two good moments and now plays only in the IPL'. But the way he is going...it may very well be so.
Just don't decide to start batting today, because my Dale needs to outbowl you. It's nothing personal, it's just that you look like an Oz player in yellow.
See, it's not personal at all.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Choosing my IPL team
I have no regional affiliation with any of these teams, neither am I an Indian supporter. Hence, my IPL team choosing method largely depends on...you guessed it...the Saffers. I am of the opinion that BD players shouldn't be there to begin with..waste of their time and fitness (MASHRAFE!). So their presence has very little effect on me. Btw, this also means I am allowed to be fickle and support more than one team. Okay? Okay.
So here we go, my elimination process:
Mumbai Indias: Ryan McLaren, JP, Polly the Ginger Ninja and Superman Jonty.
Unfortunately, neither Polly nor Jonty are with them anymore (right?). I love Ryan, but only because he is Saffa. I have yet to make that 'YoaresofuckingawesomeIwanttoworshipyou' connection with him. And JP has broken my heart beyond repair...so for now, Mumbain Indians- REJECT!
KKR: Charl Langeveldt.
Oh Charl, my one-eyed monster. Even though you are bald and should be playing for the national team more often, I cannot stand your team-mate Baz. He makes me want to take a butter knife and scrape away at his tattoos. Very slowly. He makes me want to be an American solider at Guantanamo Bay! And I cannot be that person. I'm so sorry Charl. I am soo sorry! KKR- REJECT!
Punjab: Yusuf Abdullah
First of all, I haven't even watched Yusuf play that much. Second of all, even if I had and was a fan, the minute I think of Punjab, I think Yuvraj. After which I just resort to projectile vomitting, all the while thinking if only Yuvi had done so his ego might have shrunk a little. Or maybe not. Even if it had...Punjab- REJECT! Like a thousand times.
Royals: Graeme Smith, Johan Botha, Morne Morkel
You guys already know how this is going to go. My love for the crooked Johan and the magnificent Morne knows no barriers. Except when uber-sized, filthy, junk-filled bodies in the forms of Shane Warne and Graeme Smith come in the way. I want to reject the Royals, except I can't do that to Morne. Hence, I am on a mission to save these two. Maybe I will buy them and then lock them up in some high tower with a dragon guarding the place. Pretty sure the Fat Twins won't be able to defeat the dragon...unless they eat it! BAAH! Anyway, Royals- SEMI-REJECT!
Delhi: AB de Villiers, Wayne Parnell
Yay! You would think I'd be a die-hard Delhi fan...well I am not. I don't know why. I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's because their third choice captain is Dinesh Karthik (What.the.fuck!) or maybe because as much as I try, I can't be a fan of Gautam Gambhir. But why doesn't AB and Wayne have the power to trump these obstacles? My psychiatrist thinks it's my inability to happy for successful, ultra-talented, nearly perfect children. Something to do with personal insecurity. Of course, it's all bullshit and the real reason is that their jersey look like that of England's. See how I bring the Poms everywhere? If I may say so, I am a bastard-bitch-idiot all in one. Delhi- REJECT!
Chennai: Justin Kemp, Albie Morkel, Makhaya Ntini
This just has one big, fat rejection written all over it's face. First of all, their captain is Mega Stupid. Second, they have glory hunter Freddie. Third, they have three Saffers who have not been able to perform for their country lately. Sorry Maki, past achievements are great an all that and I still love you for that but right now, right here...you ain't making it back to the team. I am sad for you, but I also want them to win. Which they can't if you are there. And let's not even talk about Albie. You put my Zulu to disgrace! Egghead!
Chennai- REJECT!
RCB: Jacques Kallis, ROFL, Mark Boucher, Dale Steyn
This is my heaven right here. In addition, they have Rahul Dravid, my favourite Indian player. And I am also quite liking Praveen Kumar these days. But we all know Jakes, Bouchie, my Dale and my alien son make the team. Don't pretend otherwise, it's bad for your health. However, they are missing a crucial person and because of that, they are my second team. Regardless, RCB: EJECT!
Deccan: THE ONE AND ONLY HERSCHELLE GIBBS
Major hypocrisy alert. He is riding on past glory, hasn't performed for the Saffers in a while, is one of those uber-talented, young people but man...he is Herschelle freaking Gibbs. Messed up, bad boy, elegant stroke player, bald, fantabulous fielder...I'll stop before you are disgusted and clicking to close the page. But notice how I cleverly put this in the end, so you have to read through all of my "neutral" opinions before finding out I am still really biased and blindly in love with this has-been.
Deccan Chargers: EJECT! To the moon. With the IPL trophy bitches!
So here we go, my elimination process:
Mumbai Indias: Ryan McLaren, JP, Polly the Ginger Ninja and Superman Jonty.
Unfortunately, neither Polly nor Jonty are with them anymore (right?). I love Ryan, but only because he is Saffa. I have yet to make that 'YoaresofuckingawesomeIwanttoworshipyou' connection with him. And JP has broken my heart beyond repair...so for now, Mumbain Indians- REJECT!
KKR: Charl Langeveldt.
Oh Charl, my one-eyed monster. Even though you are bald and should be playing for the national team more often, I cannot stand your team-mate Baz. He makes me want to take a butter knife and scrape away at his tattoos. Very slowly. He makes me want to be an American solider at Guantanamo Bay! And I cannot be that person. I'm so sorry Charl. I am soo sorry! KKR- REJECT!
Punjab: Yusuf Abdullah
First of all, I haven't even watched Yusuf play that much. Second of all, even if I had and was a fan, the minute I think of Punjab, I think Yuvraj. After which I just resort to projectile vomitting, all the while thinking if only Yuvi had done so his ego might have shrunk a little. Or maybe not. Even if it had...Punjab- REJECT! Like a thousand times.
Royals: Graeme Smith, Johan Botha, Morne Morkel
You guys already know how this is going to go. My love for the crooked Johan and the magnificent Morne knows no barriers. Except when uber-sized, filthy, junk-filled bodies in the forms of Shane Warne and Graeme Smith come in the way. I want to reject the Royals, except I can't do that to Morne. Hence, I am on a mission to save these two. Maybe I will buy them and then lock them up in some high tower with a dragon guarding the place. Pretty sure the Fat Twins won't be able to defeat the dragon...unless they eat it! BAAH! Anyway, Royals- SEMI-REJECT!
Delhi: AB de Villiers, Wayne Parnell
Yay! You would think I'd be a die-hard Delhi fan...well I am not. I don't know why. I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's because their third choice captain is Dinesh Karthik (What.the.fuck!) or maybe because as much as I try, I can't be a fan of Gautam Gambhir. But why doesn't AB and Wayne have the power to trump these obstacles? My psychiatrist thinks it's my inability to happy for successful, ultra-talented, nearly perfect children. Something to do with personal insecurity. Of course, it's all bullshit and the real reason is that their jersey look like that of England's. See how I bring the Poms everywhere? If I may say so, I am a bastard-bitch-idiot all in one. Delhi- REJECT!
Chennai: Justin Kemp, Albie Morkel, Makhaya Ntini
This just has one big, fat rejection written all over it's face. First of all, their captain is Mega Stupid. Second, they have glory hunter Freddie. Third, they have three Saffers who have not been able to perform for their country lately. Sorry Maki, past achievements are great an all that and I still love you for that but right now, right here...you ain't making it back to the team. I am sad for you, but I also want them to win. Which they can't if you are there. And let's not even talk about Albie. You put my Zulu to disgrace! Egghead!
Chennai- REJECT!
RCB: Jacques Kallis, ROFL, Mark Boucher, Dale Steyn
This is my heaven right here. In addition, they have Rahul Dravid, my favourite Indian player. And I am also quite liking Praveen Kumar these days. But we all know Jakes, Bouchie, my Dale and my alien son make the team. Don't pretend otherwise, it's bad for your health. However, they are missing a crucial person and because of that, they are my second team. Regardless, RCB: EJECT!
Deccan: THE ONE AND ONLY HERSCHELLE GIBBS
Major hypocrisy alert. He is riding on past glory, hasn't performed for the Saffers in a while, is one of those uber-talented, young people but man...he is Herschelle freaking Gibbs. Messed up, bad boy, elegant stroke player, bald, fantabulous fielder...I'll stop before you are disgusted and clicking to close the page. But notice how I cleverly put this in the end, so you have to read through all of my "neutral" opinions before finding out I am still really biased and blindly in love with this has-been.
Deccan Chargers: EJECT! To the moon. With the IPL trophy bitches!
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