I would sit and watch Stuart Broad score his first test hundred. But I didn't because they didn't pay me enough to rip my arms and legs off before watching. At that point, I thought that that would have been enough to downplay this horrible incident. Then Stuart Broad made 150.
If I was paid, I would also analyze this match-fixing scandal to the tiniest of fragments, giving my own opinions on Amer, Asif, Butt, Bangladesh being accused, Nathan Hauritz's plea to keep the legitimacy of his first fifer in test etc. etc.
But I am not. So I will just tell you what I feel.
I have no sympathy for Mohammad Aamer.
Mohammas Asif should really fucking grow up and realize that he just needs to be the best bowler in the world and nothing else. Which he already is, so I really don't see why he must engage in such behavior.
The rest who were involved in this scandal can go fuck themselves.
If I was paid, I would also probably hide my disappointment and keep this post perfectly devoid of emotions, but I wasn't so I won't. Fuck it! I probably wouldn't have been able to curb my emotions even if I had been paid.
When Hansie Cronje admitted to his crimes, I was shaken to the core. To many, this will sound silly but not to those who love cricket with a passion the way I do. When a player takes money to throw away the very thing that entertain, evoke emotions, pride, fierce loyalty all at the same time, it is an unimaginable betrayal. I am not exaggerating and you know it.
I don't buy scalped tickets, I never will. I don't buy fake jerseys and for a while now I have been saving up little by little to go visit Lords. There have been many downfalls to this plan of course but I start all over again. And when I walk into the ground there is a very good chance I will shed a tear. Like I did when Pollock retired, when Klusener got run out, when Shakib got stumped against England...
Dear cricketers, this is the level of attachment to this game. We too go broke so we can watch matches, travel to venues.
So your families were in danger, you could have told the police and gotten security. But how will you fix this hatred that live in the hearts of your fans now? Will you pay us too?
We won't take your tainted money. You can keep it. And as you are keeping it, do us a favour and make an exit as fast you can. I would rather watch a mediocre player than a great one who disrespects his greatness for money.
Showing posts with label Lance Klusener. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lance Klusener. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
West Indies Losers XI
I think it's time to infest West Indies with players who are not West Indian. Why? Do you even need to ask that question?
The real question is, where should we import these players from? I say we get perennial losers from any cricket playing country and make them Honourary West Indian citizens like Herschelle Gibbs and Michael Hayden. Then make them play for the team. I can garauntee you that this lot will win more games than the current bunch.
So without further ado, I give you the West Indies Losers XI:
1) Darren Sammy: He's not really a loser. In fact, with that face and that fearless attitude, he is always a winner in my books, but he is also a good leader of losers as proven by his current efforts. Sammy is really the only West Indian trying to win any matches for his stupid maroon team.
2) Dwayne Bravo: See above.
3) Nathan Bracken: Poor guy is a loser by association, with Cricket Australia that is. Any other team in the world would have ignored his Keira Knightley look and put the bugger in their test team. But not Cricket Australia. They would rather keep him hanging till he fades away. They would also rather pay for Brett Lee's numerous injuries. Brave Nathan continues to look for new opportunities and then the doctors tell him he needs another operation on his knee! Loser's luck indeed.
4) Imran Nazir: What high hopes one had for this lovely opener, although the same can be said for most Pakistani cricketers. Regardless, Imran had the agression, the cover drive and the fielding to be a regular in the team. But then he played a couple of tests...and now he is just a 28 years old with a double chin who is only called for the national side as an afterthought.
5) Monty Panesar: In order to feel bad for Monty, I need to make space in my heart by getting out my real feelings for him...BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I find his situation wonderfully funny. Yet another promising English bowler replaced the minute he hits bad form. He too is 28 with a double chin, but these days with Swann (UGH!) and numerous other young spinners in the horizon, poor ol' Monty isn't even an afterthought. Again, BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
6) Dinesh Karthik: Who likes Dinesh Karthik? Do you like Dinesh Karthik? Do I like Dinesh Karthik? Does Dinesh Karthik's mother like Dinesh Karthik? See, I've mentioned his name one too many times and your face is already taking a disapproving shape. He is everywhere: keeping, a batting, fielding, captaining, preventing Sachin from getting a century...but it gets him nowhere. He's just one of those losers that we know is in his rightful place and refuse to let him leave LoserVille. May his lifetime membership continue, in maroon, doing a little bit of everything with the Windies.
7) Ireland: Pick any player, they have all been forced to live in LoserVille, sadly. They do not belong there at all and I for one would like to see them storm the ICC headquarters, confiscate all their adult diapers and threaten to shred them into pieces unless they receive a test status.
8) Martin Guptill: Why the fuck this person got any sort of nomination and recognition is beyond me. He has played in 30 ODI's and has a stunning average of 36.46. He's scored 948 runs so far...122 of them came in the SAME GAME. We will pardon him for his equally woeful test average because he's played in only 11 of them but what's all the hype about? Till I see it Martin darling, you are a loser.
9) Lance Klusener: How this breaks my heart! How it kills me! I feel like dolling up and doing a full Elizabeth Taylor-esque tragic scene when I hear his name. He got shafted by a BUFFALO! Sure, he was in crap form during that period but he was dropped because the young captain, who hadn't even secured a spot in the team, thought Zulu was disruptive and a bad influence. He never returned. He is a loser purely because of circumstances.
10) Mohammad Ashraful: Please don't ask and please don't defend him. If you would like to defend him, your team can have him.
11) Shane Watson: Because no losers team is complete without him.
The real question is, where should we import these players from? I say we get perennial losers from any cricket playing country and make them Honourary West Indian citizens like Herschelle Gibbs and Michael Hayden. Then make them play for the team. I can garauntee you that this lot will win more games than the current bunch.
So without further ado, I give you the West Indies Losers XI:
1) Darren Sammy: He's not really a loser. In fact, with that face and that fearless attitude, he is always a winner in my books, but he is also a good leader of losers as proven by his current efforts. Sammy is really the only West Indian trying to win any matches for his stupid maroon team.
2) Dwayne Bravo: See above.
3) Nathan Bracken: Poor guy is a loser by association, with Cricket Australia that is. Any other team in the world would have ignored his Keira Knightley look and put the bugger in their test team. But not Cricket Australia. They would rather keep him hanging till he fades away. They would also rather pay for Brett Lee's numerous injuries. Brave Nathan continues to look for new opportunities and then the doctors tell him he needs another operation on his knee! Loser's luck indeed.
4) Imran Nazir: What high hopes one had for this lovely opener, although the same can be said for most Pakistani cricketers. Regardless, Imran had the agression, the cover drive and the fielding to be a regular in the team. But then he played a couple of tests...and now he is just a 28 years old with a double chin who is only called for the national side as an afterthought.
5) Monty Panesar: In order to feel bad for Monty, I need to make space in my heart by getting out my real feelings for him...BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I find his situation wonderfully funny. Yet another promising English bowler replaced the minute he hits bad form. He too is 28 with a double chin, but these days with Swann (UGH!) and numerous other young spinners in the horizon, poor ol' Monty isn't even an afterthought. Again, BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
6) Dinesh Karthik: Who likes Dinesh Karthik? Do you like Dinesh Karthik? Do I like Dinesh Karthik? Does Dinesh Karthik's mother like Dinesh Karthik? See, I've mentioned his name one too many times and your face is already taking a disapproving shape. He is everywhere: keeping, a batting, fielding, captaining, preventing Sachin from getting a century...but it gets him nowhere. He's just one of those losers that we know is in his rightful place and refuse to let him leave LoserVille. May his lifetime membership continue, in maroon, doing a little bit of everything with the Windies.
7) Ireland: Pick any player, they have all been forced to live in LoserVille, sadly. They do not belong there at all and I for one would like to see them storm the ICC headquarters, confiscate all their adult diapers and threaten to shred them into pieces unless they receive a test status.
8) Martin Guptill: Why the fuck this person got any sort of nomination and recognition is beyond me. He has played in 30 ODI's and has a stunning average of 36.46. He's scored 948 runs so far...122 of them came in the SAME GAME. We will pardon him for his equally woeful test average because he's played in only 11 of them but what's all the hype about? Till I see it Martin darling, you are a loser.
9) Lance Klusener: How this breaks my heart! How it kills me! I feel like dolling up and doing a full Elizabeth Taylor-esque tragic scene when I hear his name. He got shafted by a BUFFALO! Sure, he was in crap form during that period but he was dropped because the young captain, who hadn't even secured a spot in the team, thought Zulu was disruptive and a bad influence. He never returned. He is a loser purely because of circumstances.
10) Mohammad Ashraful: Please don't ask and please don't defend him. If you would like to defend him, your team can have him.
11) Shane Watson: Because no losers team is complete without him.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
A little bit of Hockey
This one is not about cricket, but I have to blog on this. Canada just took the Gold in Men's Hockey in the Winter Olympics. They almost lost, 2-1 up and US scored an equalizer with 20 seconds to go. All was quiet in Vancouver. The game went to over time and rising upto everybody's expectations, Sidney Crosby scored the golden goal for us. It was bloody brilliant!
But as proud as I am of Team Canada, one look at the US goalie's face took half my joy away. People will brand me a traitor, but sometimes one man's feat is so great that you can't help feeling bitter sweet when your team wins over his. Or loses. I felt similarly during the last Football World Cup when Italians stole that win over France. I was devastated, but slightly happy for Buffon at the same time.
Ryan Miller is the only player in the US hockey team that deserves some praise. Frankly, Ryan Miller IS the US hockey team. He had to play all by himself in the first quarter, where Canada attempted shots after shots. To give you an inkling of how good he is, let me tell you that just last week, when the two teams met during the group stage (and Canada lost!), Canadians attempted 49 shots...got only 3 in. As opposed to US's 7 tries and 5 goals. Canada was terrible at finishing on that day, but trust me that is not a reflection of the team's abilities. That was the Ryan Miller show. His defense let the Canadians get close to the goal every time, and he deflected their shots...every time.
As the goal medals were carried past the US players in a platter, Ryan Miller shook his head in disbelief. After all the hard work and heroics, he goes home with the Silver. It is unbelievably harsh. And this is something that happens in almost every sport. It happened to one of my favourite South Africans, Lance Klusener, during WC99.
The following is a commercial that I am proud of and is really one that says 'In your face'. But, I still dedicate it to the Ryan Millers of the world. You may be playing our game Ryan, but you play it damn well. And for that we applaud you.
But as proud as I am of Team Canada, one look at the US goalie's face took half my joy away. People will brand me a traitor, but sometimes one man's feat is so great that you can't help feeling bitter sweet when your team wins over his. Or loses. I felt similarly during the last Football World Cup when Italians stole that win over France. I was devastated, but slightly happy for Buffon at the same time.
Ryan Miller is the only player in the US hockey team that deserves some praise. Frankly, Ryan Miller IS the US hockey team. He had to play all by himself in the first quarter, where Canada attempted shots after shots. To give you an inkling of how good he is, let me tell you that just last week, when the two teams met during the group stage (and Canada lost!), Canadians attempted 49 shots...got only 3 in. As opposed to US's 7 tries and 5 goals. Canada was terrible at finishing on that day, but trust me that is not a reflection of the team's abilities. That was the Ryan Miller show. His defense let the Canadians get close to the goal every time, and he deflected their shots...every time.
As the goal medals were carried past the US players in a platter, Ryan Miller shook his head in disbelief. After all the hard work and heroics, he goes home with the Silver. It is unbelievably harsh. And this is something that happens in almost every sport. It happened to one of my favourite South Africans, Lance Klusener, during WC99.
The following is a commercial that I am proud of and is really one that says 'In your face'. But, I still dedicate it to the Ryan Millers of the world. You may be playing our game Ryan, but you play it damn well. And for that we applaud you.
Friday, September 4, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZULU!
The mighty Lance Klusener turns 38 today. If you dislike him, don't bother commenting on this one. I'm not interested.
For me, Zulu first introduced the concept of assaulting the ball in every sense of the word. Phrases like 'smashed', 'out of sight', 'thrashed' etc. that are used so often in T20 today, were all defined by Klusener. No other player could pull his team out of situations, the way Zulu did in the 1999 World Cup. On top of it, he did with a style that left everyone in awe of him. There was a widely circulating rumour that bowlers were afraid of bowling to a certain Lance Klusener because they could not predict in what manner their balls would be dismissed over the boundary that day. He humiliated the best of the best.
Of course, as the story goes, he later on crumpled under the pressure to perform and was subsequently removed from the team. What shocked me most was the fact that the man who fought like death to give South Africa hope, merely whimpered when he himself was in dire straits. Zulu, unfortunately was also responsible for providing me with my most heartbreaking memory of cricket ever. Yes, it still hurts. Ask any South African fans and they will tell you the same.
But I forgive him. Because despite all of this, he did a lot for South Africa. He won many matches, took many crucial wickets and scored plenty of runs. His contributions are evident when new hitters like Albie Morkel are called the next Zulu. Lance Klusener came at a time when South Africa was accused of playing boring cricket. Let's just say after the World Cup those critics were thrashed out of the ground and out of sight.
His unique bowling style
Just another day at the job
For me, Zulu first introduced the concept of assaulting the ball in every sense of the word. Phrases like 'smashed', 'out of sight', 'thrashed' etc. that are used so often in T20 today, were all defined by Klusener. No other player could pull his team out of situations, the way Zulu did in the 1999 World Cup. On top of it, he did with a style that left everyone in awe of him. There was a widely circulating rumour that bowlers were afraid of bowling to a certain Lance Klusener because they could not predict in what manner their balls would be dismissed over the boundary that day. He humiliated the best of the best.
Of course, as the story goes, he later on crumpled under the pressure to perform and was subsequently removed from the team. What shocked me most was the fact that the man who fought like death to give South Africa hope, merely whimpered when he himself was in dire straits. Zulu, unfortunately was also responsible for providing me with my most heartbreaking memory of cricket ever. Yes, it still hurts. Ask any South African fans and they will tell you the same.
But I forgive him. Because despite all of this, he did a lot for South Africa. He won many matches, took many crucial wickets and scored plenty of runs. His contributions are evident when new hitters like Albie Morkel are called the next Zulu. Lance Klusener came at a time when South Africa was accused of playing boring cricket. Let's just say after the World Cup those critics were thrashed out of the ground and out of sight.
His unique bowling style
Just another day at the jobFriday, August 21, 2009
The Ashes: Random thoughts 3
-Any team that gives Broad 5 wickets and Swann 2 wicket maidens should go flush themselves down the toilet
-Then again, Broad's bowling coach was once Allan Donald and he is brilliant
-There are far too many wrong umpiring decisions in this series. The umpires really need to take their job more seriously.
-One of these days, Ricky will bite his fingers off, which will end his career. Clarke will then take over and plummet Australia to 10th position. Moral of the story: Ricky, stop biting your germ-infested nails.
-Zulu is coming back to CSA!!! Oh, is this not Ashes related? It's still far more interesting than this lackluster game being stretched by lucky tail-enders and mediocre bowling.
-Then again, Broad's bowling coach was once Allan Donald and he is brilliant
-There are far too many wrong umpiring decisions in this series. The umpires really need to take their job more seriously.
-One of these days, Ricky will bite his fingers off, which will end his career. Clarke will then take over and plummet Australia to 10th position. Moral of the story: Ricky, stop biting your germ-infested nails.
-Zulu is coming back to CSA!!! Oh, is this not Ashes related? It's still far more interesting than this lackluster game being stretched by lucky tail-enders and mediocre bowling.
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