101 reasons why I like the Kiwis

I've been trying to figure out why I like the Kiwis so much. Apart from the fact that they have Daniel Vettori and are basically neutral like Switzerland I mean. So I was reading up on them when it suddenly struck me.

New Zealand is considered by many to be a state of Australia.
Canada is called the 51st American state.
Truth is, We are both a million times better than our neighbours.

That was reason number three.

The Kiwis always surprise people with their cricket. We never look at them and say, 'this team is so fucking talented they will rule the world one day'. Then they thrash India by 200 runs.

That is a huuuuge margin. Even bigger considering three of their top players and match-winners were all absent. Vettori is apparently in labour, Jesse Ryder is still drunk and Baz is probably at sea, in a quest to truly find his calling.

That is reason number four.

Reason number five is IOB. Enough said.

Then there are others, like Ross Taylor, Scott Styris, Shane Bond and of course Stephen Fleming. Stephen Fleming alone can be reason number nine to a hundred. And because of his awesome performance I will now add Daryl Tuffey to that list.

Reason number hundred and one.

Strangely, by the end of this list I have also managed to come up with a reason I like India: they gave Dhoni grey hair.

Or maybe it was the wife.

The good, the bad and the mushy

The good:
-Saffers won comprehensively. Also qualifies under "the shocking".
-Saffers found form, specially AB and Albie. Another "the shocking".
-Morne bowled well in a T20 match (man I should just rename this the shocking!)
-Botha coming out of his mourning period since the loss of his doosra and bending his elbows in new and legal ways to deceive the Sumo himself!
-One eyed Charl.
-Saffers finally figuring out where to use Albie...the 15th over. The melted brains work after all.
-Dan the man showing emotions by shaking his hips mid-air. The dude can also dance, I may just have to clone him.
-The Kiwis still making a match out of it ( I do like them you know)

The bad:
-Albie still bowling.
-Jakes and his wonderful strike rate of just a little above hundred. What happened to the IPL form old man?
-Jakes' hairline receding even further! "Boucherzel, Boucherzel, lend him your hair".
-Soon-to-be-adopted son ROFL getting dropped, coming on as a sub AND misfielding! This allowed bastard Buffalo to insult ROFL by calling on Dale, whom ROFL had subbed. Dale was suspiciously tying the strings of his pajamas at that time.
-Ross Taylor being shit. 
-Saffers building themselves up to be favourites before the tournament is done again...

The mushy:
-My Hersch replacing Bosman.
-My Hersch hitting fours.
-My Hersch hitting sixes.
-My Hersch taking stunning catches.
-My Hersch ensuring his place in the side for the rest of the games.
-My Hersch fielding like a fucking genius.
-My Hersch inspiring this awesome post over at Cricbuzz.

Dear God, I know I am not your favourite child but PLEASE make sure Gibbsy retains this form and plays till I am dead.

Thank you.

My Feelings Exactly

Oh New Zealand, what did you do? I mean, yes the series is levelled and we can't wait for a good contest, but that was still sad to watch.

Has anyone realized that two out of the three bowlers who got a five wicket haul in these recent tests were from the winning side? Won't it be great if Sulieman Benn made it three out of three?

P.S: I am slightly upset that Aamer wasn't the one with the five. Hmph! Oh well, at least it wasn't Umar Gul!

Ideal Test Day

As Sri Lanka and India pile on runs after runs, I can't help but be more interested in the Kiwi vs Pak game. Note, the Indians scoring in abundance today has more to do with the Lankans and their ineffective bowling, but nevertheless, there is nothing great about teams reaching three-four hundred on Day 1. It is expected, i.e. boring. Specially when the first test made zombies wish they had never come alive.

So I prefer to focus on the other game. Reasons:

1. The match started with a yorker from a seventeen year old that resulted in a wicket. That seventeen year old is becoming my favourite player to watch. Considering his country has produced Wasim Akram, his talent is not surprising. But it is worrying that his country has also produced Shoaib Akhtar, whose sole focus since god knows when has been to entertain off the field rather than on it. I honestly don't want Aamer to waste his talent on acquiring gential warts but if Shoaib decides to mend his ways, it may have to happen...to carry on Shoaib's legacy.

2. After two wickets, there was a Kiwi fightback. Ross Taylor did extremely well to get his team back on track and then fell six runs short of his century. Talk about prime time drama.

3. Pakistan picked up six wickets. None of them went to Umar Gul. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

4. The day ended with yet another Kiwi fightback. This could become a Spartan war. Unfortunately without 300 abs.

5. Daniel Vettori is at the crease and should be getting a 50. Baz is also there, but I am blissfully ignoring him.

Let's take a picture of this day and fax it to India.

Parnie read my blog too

I called his bowling rubbish didn't I? I ordered him to find his form. So like a good boy, Parnie obeyed. Although not quite. He still conceded the most runs out of all the bowlers, but his 5 wickets saved him. For now.

The highlight of the match was anytime ROFL came on screen. For example his brilliant catch. If you watch it in slow motion, you will see tiny alien ships holding him up long enough to catch the ball. They are his brothers and sisters. They weren't there during his bowling spell though, because ROFL is just naturally brilliant at that. He don't need no help with his spin. The Kiwis on the other hand...I don't understand it in the slightest. They do have a very effective spinner in their side. If you knew you had to play spinners and have one in the team, wouldn't you practice batting with him? How is it that Dan's team were beaten again and again by ROFL's balls?

Albertus wasn't shockingly bad at bowling today so, he survives one more day. Even if he's back to being terrible on Sunday, my Herschelle will be there to pick up the slack. I can't help but mention my Herschelle. It's a way of life for me.

I have to mention AB's batting and two catches. Yes, he is so perfect that he makes you want to put your fingers through your ears and mess up your brain. But us Saffa fans were seriously worried that he has lost his mojo. But the mojo is intact, the fielding is back on top and the batting is excellent as always. We can all breathe now.

Till Duminy comes to bat. Shithead.

Aah well. For now we will celebrate and wait for Sunday. It's going to be a family affair.

Thanks Martyd!

The picture is from my Kiwi friend M, who has awesome cricket spirit. He is also a brilliant artist as you can see.