Champions Trophy injury list

South Africa: Herschelle Gibbs
What: Strained rib muscle
How: Once upon a time a Buffalo was born. Twenty-eight years later he hit my bald man with his 200 pound tail.
Prognosis: Batting a little, should be back to kick some English ass on Sunday.

India: Virender Sehwag
What: Shoulder injury
How: Carrying a trillion dollar shawl on his shoulders at a fashion show.
Prognosis: Will not be available for the Champions Trophy.

India: Yuvraj Singh
What: Fractured finger
How: Eating too many hamburgers.
Prognosis: Out for 6 weeks by the grace of everything good and pure.

New Zealand: Jacob Oram
What: Damaged hamstring
How: He thought he was a real life Kiwi and tried to 'fly' from a window. He also thought Kiwis could fly.
Prognosis: Still to be assessed. We are breathlessly waiting for some news.

New Zealand: Ian Butler
What: Umm..stomach bug
How: Ravi Bopara thought he was Ian Bell and sneezed on his food to stop him from taking his spot in the team.
Prognosis: Hasn't trained with the team yet. Not that it makes a difference.

Pakistan: Younis Khan
What: Hairline fracture on his little finger
How: For touching Afridi's hair with that finger
Prognosis: Hopes to be fit for India on Saturday. Something tells me he will be.

England: Kevin Pietersen
What: Achilles tendon surgery that didn't heal according to plan
How: The initial injury happened when his wife kicked him for not coming to watch her dance. It didn't heal properly because he kicked it again to make sure he stayed back in England to work on his accent.
Prognosis: Hopefully out till the end of time.

Australia: Shane Watson
What: The smallest bone in his ear
How: He realized he has been fit for more than a fortnight. So he played the guitar till his ear bone broke.
Prognosis: Won't know till the next injury comes around. Which will be soon.