The interim coach

Let's get to know him. We will talk a lot of shit about him pretty soon after all. Or maybe we will praise him to the skies. Probably the latter, since he is determined to turn his interim status into a permanent one.

He was one of the unforunate ones during the apartheid that lost out on international exposure and hence never got to grow. What am I saying? There are many of him. But he is special, because his parents must have foreseen their son never making it big in cricket. Otherwise they would never have given him a name that makes him sound like a D-grade stage performer. If you haven't figured it out yet, I have a problem with parents giving their children crappy names. I don't care what you say, it's borderline child abuse.

He has also successfully coached the Diamond Eagles to six club titles. That team's current captain is Hendrik Human Dipenaar. Who you ask? He is better known as Boeta Dipenaar. Ring a bell now? No? I thought so.

Other than that, he once had very questionable hair.

I had once wondered what Shrek would look like with locks. I don't anymore.

Anyway, back to Corrie. From the little information I could gather these are his characteristics: determined, funny name, good record, unlucky and follicularly cursed.

I think this is Mickey Aurthur in disguise.

Ashy P

Pee on the Ashes was Man-of-the-Match at the MTN40 final for the Warriors. Not by some fluke, he actually scored 128 runs. I would say it's not surprising, considering the only national level bowler I recognize in the opposition is Andrew Hall. But that could just be me and the fact that I don't live in a cricket mad nation. Tragedy of my life, but I'll tell you about that some other time.

This award means he will surely open in India. I am not amused.

He could be back in form or he could just be having a good day. Either way, what does batting for 40 overs in a completely different pitch have anything to do with Tests in India? Saffa interim coach Corrie, who has a very unfortunate name, has pinpointed him as a primary concern. Evidently, he will let Ashy P play where he wants, which means he will probably bat at 5 or 6.

So who will open? Neil McKenzie is no longer available. He has signed with Hampshire as a Kolpak. KP will be very happy that he can speak Afrikaans with someone other than Trotty who probably carries out different rituals before opening his mouth.

So that leaves us with Hash, which is a bad idea. As much I love him, he has a tendency to get out early in difficult conditions. They can't get Alviro Petersen to open in the tests, because that will mean dropping somebody. That somebody will have to be Ashy P, who just scored 128 runs and won the finals for his domestic team. 

My Herschelle will be watching all this on television and shaking his head. I will join him.