T3D1: Tactics

Hallelujah! The Saffers have dropped Lopsy and picked Botha instead! What a good decision! Other than the fact that he did great there is also the point that if Paul Harris can be part of a test team than the new, reformed, finally overcoming the trauma of losing his doosra Botes should DEFINITELY be a part of the Proteas test squad. Plus, I have come to the conclusion that Lopsy is a bit over-rated. Although, I have also come to the conclusion that I am judging him too early.

West Indies too have put some thought into their tactics. Maybe Chris Gayle feels like winning this one, just for kicks. They might as well end on a 'high', as I don't see anything scheduled for months to come.

Dowlin was dropped, thank fucking god! I don't really care about the Windies that much but shit this guy was an embarrassment! They still refused to pick Adrian Bharath  though and picked Dale Richards instead...again! FYI, he also sucks and has a very South African sounding name. Suspicious.

But the biggest tactic used by the Windies was confusion. Rampaul was injured so Sammy came in, much to my delight. But Sammy too succumbed to injury and was replaced by Pascal who looked into Chris Gayle's eyes too early and hence hurt his neck. All of this made way for one Brandon Bess, whose name strangely reminds me of Archie and the gang. I don't know why...

Dale Steyn also changed his tactics by wearing a heinous pair of sunglasses with white frames and having his handkerchief hang below his cap like an Arab Sheik. He looked quite disturbing. Thankfully Kemar Roach stuck to his tactics by being wonderful and fast.

Fidel Edwards and Jerome Taylor also stuck to their tactics by being injured and absent, which made me very upset. How long do we have to wait to see Morkel & Steyn go up against Edwards & Taylor?

Oh Maky, you're so fine...

For those of you who don't know, Makhaya Ntini is currently playing for Kent. For those of you who do know, know how late I am in typing this up. But it's better late than never. A phrase Ntini's fans are saying right now, after his tremendous 10 wicket haul in a game that won the match for Kent. Against Durham too, who are currently the Champions in county cricket. A few months ago everybody thought Ntini's career is over.

Better late than never Maky, better late than never.

I had the misfortune of only being able to watch it on ECB's crappier than crap videos, from one angle, but it still looked pretty good. Durham are first divison after all plus this will do wonders for the man's confidence. Now the question is, should Makhaya be given his test spot back?

It's not happening against the West Indies. As far as I know, the squad for that has been selected already. Plus they have Ryan McLaren and hopefully Wayne Parnell, who really should try and grow some extra veins and capillaries or something so he can get better FASTER. Lopsy apparently has also been kept for the tests. Don't ask me why.

The next test they play is against India in December and afterwards theyleave for the World Cup. Makhaya will be almost 34 by then.

Is it worth it to give Makhaya a shot in one or two tests only before he retires?

You tell me. I personally would love to see him back but recognize that it is probably taking away another younger player's time and opportunity. Hasn't Maky lived his glory days already? The guy is the second highest wicket taker in County Cricket this season already. Sure it's a step down from international cricket but it's still cricket isn't it? Dale Benkenstein (yes, he is alive!), plays for Durham now. When was the last time he played international cricket? He is doing just fine.

Of course comparing Benkenstein to Ntini is utter stupidity. The man is nowhere near the fast bowling legend. But I am really confused and I seriously want to know where we draw the line with a legend, if we were to take out favouritism, personal wishes, political agendas and basic misleading hopes and dreams out of the equation.

Is it time to say goodbye to Makhaya? Kent will gladly keep him, plus he is one of the brand ambassadors of FIFA 2010 so don't feel too bad for him. He has plenty to do and plenty of teams that still want him. He just doesn't fit in with the Proteas anymore.

Give the win to West Indies

The Saffers batte(d) brilli(a)ntly, the(r)e is no doubt about that. The top o(r)d(e)r is fi(n)ally making me smile again.

Although, Ha(s)h's brilli(a)nt batting (m)akes (m)e want to punch the selectors in the face, I am going to put a restraining order on m(y)self. I am just happy that they are winning.

(D)(a)ve Mille(r) (r)(e)mi(n)d(s) me of (a) young AB, although let's not ju(m)p on that bandwagon yet. It's only his first series. I a(m) slightl(y) concerne(d) however, (a)bout what this means for Albie. If Alvi(r)o and Dave a(r)(e) firi(n)g it up, I fear Albie is going to be left out of the squad. Yet, I still have high hopes for that man.

JP ha(s) fin(a)lly been dropped, (m)uch to (m)(y) joy. Shut up, he needs it.

I am mo(d)er(a)tely satisfied with the bowling. They a(r)e bowling innume(r)ous wid(e)s. Maybe the heat is making them halluci(n)ate, maybe I am ju(s)t missing the bigger picture, m(a)ybe I a(m) being too picky. Actually fuck that. Fro(m) two matches, the(y) have 18 wi(d)es comp(a)(r)ed to West Indies' 12. That's an a(r)(e)a of concer(n). Lop(s)y is (a)lso an area of concern. Honey, when you are co(m)peting with Wayne Parnell and Ryan McLaren, I would say what you are doing in this series is (m)aking sure (y)ou never get picke(d), ever (a)gain. Thankfully, Johan Botha in the othe(r) end is b(r)inging a lot of joy in my life. Saff(e)rs may have a spi(n)ner...I can hardly believe it! No, I won't believe it till you come smack me. Easy now, you will have to fly to Canada first.

I can happily overlook the fielding mishap(s) bec(a)use (m)ost of the(m) were made by m(y) favourite Buffalo. Who cares about misfiel(d)s when you c(a)n happily make jokes and stick it into his big chin. I have also just (r)ealized that he can loose as much weight as he wants, his head will (r)(e)mai(n) gigantic. Meaning, more ammo for me. Life is indeed very good and shallow.

But ye(s), despite (a)ll this, let West Indies have this win. Not because that will (m)ake this series interesting and not because SA played a(m)azingly well and then nearl(y) lost it. But because of the man who hit (D)(a)le Steyn fo(r) two consecutive sixes and became a beacon of hope in this so(r)ry ass W(e)st India(n) team. The only man in maroon to believe.

I found it only fitting to put his name all over this post. 

In retrospect

South Africa's record in the past two series now reads 2 draws and 1 loss. If you really think about it, it should have been three wins.

Really, they should have won 3-1 against England and 1-0 against India. They messed up twice in the second test. Once in the first innings after tea and the second time on the last day, right after Hash and Ashy P had settled down. Parnie and Morne should never have been in that situation. And Kallis should not have played that shot.

They should also have won the first ODI, meaning they would have won this 2-1 as well.

"If only" is a phrase too often used by a Protea fan. It's always if this, if that, if only we had been the first to bat.

Consolation wins mean ziltch after sometime. Because during the dead-rubber matches, the Saffers are so mind-blowingly brilliant that you actually wish your mind was an atomic bomb that could burst on command. Their inconsistency makes Pakistan look rock steady.

Everybody was brilliant today. I was particularly proud of my soon-to-be-adopted son ROFL. Did you see that ball that turned away, peeked at Sreesanth and decided to go straight for his legs? That one was fun! AB was fun to watch too. As was Tsotsobe. I really love that guy, but I don't know if he can replace Parnie. Unless he is injured of course.

But the reality is, this was an inexperienced Indian team. They didn't have their frontline bowling attack...if you can call Durby a frontline bowler. The Saffers knew this and they bullied them to death.

Honestly, I did not expect the Saffers to even achieve this. But then I thought, why shouldn't I? They are a friggin' brilliant team, as the first test demonstrated. They conquered Sachin, Sehwag, Gambhir, Dhoni and Zaheer there. But these bursts and fizzles are getting very,very hard to handle. Next up is the IPL, meaning another long-ass break for the team. Just when they were beginning to get their groove back.

And Dale just said in an interview that he thought this was a good series. If only he was right!

Saffa spinners are officially woeful

Why state the obvious? Because the selectors have the daunting task of choosing the one that is less horrendous for the upcoming test.
Fortunately, making a comparison of crap is much easier than making deciding between the best. For example, if Parnie and Tsotsobe were fighting over the third bowling spot (which they are-Ryan McLaren is in the scuffle too), things would be tougher. If we were to go by yesterday's performance in the warm up game.

But the grass IS much greener on the other side. Take Paul Harris' crap figures in yesterday's game into consideration, and they scream FUCKING PISSOFF/CON-ARTIST/BATSHIT! Or simply 12-0-71-5.91.

Then, when you are all cried out, you go take a look at Johan Botha's figures. Botha is the man right? Our capable vice-captain. Well, okay. As much of a man as you can be with 12-0-44-1-3.66. Slightly better. Botha may not be batshit but I doubt he has the skills to win a test match.

So it's a classic case of shit vs shit. And although it looks like Botha may have won this round what about their other skills?

Botha's short, sometimes sweet-sometimes bitter, high variety batting. In the ODI's. We can't remember what he used to do in tests. Whatever he does, he will be reported for chucking. Or maybe it's baseball when it comes to the batting action.
Versus Harris' jolly, "I want to score a century" batting. Never will he score a century, yet when he goes out, it seems to be his sole purpose. The whole time he bares his teeth like he is in a romantic comedy. But at least we remember how he bats in tests. That makes the score 1-1.

Then we move on to the fielding. None of them are known for their impressive fiedling skills. Sure, a good catch here and there, but it's only when the ball decides to land in the soft hands of a spinner having been roughed up enough. They are the manicurists of the cricket world. Batsmen are the pedicurists, with their dancing feet. Fast bowlers, they are just callous and unpolished.
So the only way to decide the fielding category is to judge who makes for more pleasant viewing.

Botha has an okay face, proportionate to his body and a nice shape. However, Paul Harris has that hair that has a life of it's own. Very entertaining to watch. We don't even need to go beyond that.
But Paul Harris is also too tall, which leads to neck sprains and back aches. Not to mention being unable to look where we have been looking always, straight ahead, at par with our eye level. It's very annoying.

Then, in a completely unrelated category, Botha can fly.

It's unfair I know. Giants can't get their mass to move upwards, but Harris can't get his ball to do that either. So it's 3-2 to Botha.

Congrats Botes! You are the chosen shitty one.

Bowling changes?

Friedel de Wet is injured, so Parney has been called up. AGAIN. Why? I mean, I am thrilled for you kiddo but this is five days cricket. And a very, very important one. Not exactly the best time to see whether Parney has it in him.

But if Friedel absolutely needs to be replaced, Parnie might be the only way to go. Or Tsotsobe. At this point, there is no difference between the two when it comes to Test cricket.

Imran Tahir has also been called up. He is a leggie. Not a Saffa one, a Pakistani one. I have never seen him play but he has got to be better than a Saffa 'spinner' right? More attacking for sure.

But Harro gets wickets. And it is a bit panicky to drop a wicket-taking bowler for an untried one when it's a question of only one wicket, isn't it? At least that's what I think.

Then again, I also thought this was JP's year. So maybe, my thoughts mean shit all.

I think.