Thank you, come again!

Grant Elliott's message to Pakistan. He was being a good host of course. Confused? Grant Elliot is a born Saffer who left the country in 2001. And you thought I only supported the Kiwis because of their badly-bearded, magnificent captain. Well, I didn't. They have the South African connection. Actually, I didn't know till a few hours ago that he was a Saffer, but I am going to pretend anyway. And don't you dare suggest that by that theory, I should be a supporting England as well. They went to the nation that thinks all of cricket is defined by one miserable urn...the contents of which are not even properly known! So it's not happening.

Right, back to Grant Elliott. How awesome is he? Playing the role of a stabilizer while the wickets were tumbling and then unleashing like the starving lions in my basement at the right time. Scoring 16 AMAZING runs off Umar Gul. Gul the fool had no answers to the belting. And he is supposed to be Pakistan's best death bowler. Beaten to a pulp by a Saffer. It warmed my heart and brought the temperature up to a wonderful zero degrees.

Clearly he was bowling out of his...

Let's spare some love for the Kiwis now. Ian freaking Butler...what a man! Actually he isn't. He has under 30 wickets in his career so far and was only selected for the team when 007 got injured. He was also the softie who sat out the first part of the tournament because of a stomach bug. But he got the wickets of Akmal, Malik AND Afridi. The three Pak batsmen that could have let loose all hell on the Black Caps. Yup, shown to the door by a Butler all right! Okay that was terrible. But the Kiwis won and I don't care.

Again, no New Zealand post will be complete without the mentioning of Dan the man. So here we go. Three great wickets, a promotion of himself up the order and 41 runs told us what we already knew. Dan is the most cleverest Kiwi alive. And he is the real Harry Potter. One day, Kiwis everywhere will fly because of him.

A similar picture to the one below, and the type of wicket that lead to this pathetically arrogant celebration has haunted me since the semi-finals of the T20 World Cup. Now it just makes me laugh. A psychotic laughter that Afridi can clearly hear. Hence the lack of joy in his expression.

Champions Trophy injury list

South Africa: Herschelle Gibbs
What: Strained rib muscle
How: Once upon a time a Buffalo was born. Twenty-eight years later he hit my bald man with his 200 pound tail.
Prognosis: Batting a little, should be back to kick some English ass on Sunday.

India: Virender Sehwag
What: Shoulder injury
How: Carrying a trillion dollar shawl on his shoulders at a fashion show.
Prognosis: Will not be available for the Champions Trophy.

India: Yuvraj Singh
What: Fractured finger
How: Eating too many hamburgers.
Prognosis: Out for 6 weeks by the grace of everything good and pure.

New Zealand: Jacob Oram
What: Damaged hamstring
How: He thought he was a real life Kiwi and tried to 'fly' from a window. He also thought Kiwis could fly.
Prognosis: Still to be assessed. We are breathlessly waiting for some news.

New Zealand: Ian Butler
What: Umm..stomach bug
How: Ravi Bopara thought he was Ian Bell and sneezed on his food to stop him from taking his spot in the team.
Prognosis: Hasn't trained with the team yet. Not that it makes a difference.

Pakistan: Younis Khan
What: Hairline fracture on his little finger
How: For touching Afridi's hair with that finger
Prognosis: Hopes to be fit for India on Saturday. Something tells me he will be.

England: Kevin Pietersen
What: Achilles tendon surgery that didn't heal according to plan
How: The initial injury happened when his wife kicked him for not coming to watch her dance. It didn't heal properly because he kicked it again to make sure he stayed back in England to work on his accent.
Prognosis: Hopefully out till the end of time.

Australia: Shane Watson
What: The smallest bone in his ear
How: He realized he has been fit for more than a fortnight. So he played the guitar till his ear bone broke.
Prognosis: Won't know till the next injury comes around. Which will be soon.