ICC Awards 2009: Cricketer of the Year

The nominations are out and ICC is majorly confused! There are like 20 nominees for each category. They should take me on as a jury member..I will shorten the list for them. Here I go.

Cricketer of the Year

Shivnarine Chanderpaul (WI): He gets nominated every year but never wins. So why nominate him? Consolation prizes are not required.

Tillakaratne Dilshan (SL): Based on what? The IPL isn't counted here is it? IT BETTER NOT BE!

Mahendra Singh Dhoni (Ind): For his modeling skills and finally realizing that long hair is not cool...hang on! This is a Cricket award..OUT!

Gautam Gambhir (Ind): Ok. Yeah..why not? He can be one of the nominees, but you know he won't win.

Shakib Al Hasan (Ban): HELL YES! APPROVED APPROVED APPROVED!

Mitchell Johnson (Aus): Oval...Lords...bitter mother...South Africa...broken hand...Mitch had an eventful year and actually managed to get some results. Ok, Mitch, you are in.

Graham Onions (Eng): HAHA! Was Lilly Allen in this selection panel? Let's not stink up the awards please.

Thilan Samaraweera (SL): Yes, he is awesome.

Kumar Sangakkara (SL): Approved. He is Sanga. Enough said.

Harbhajan Singh (Ind): Umm...maybe if he slaps Onions and makes him cry!

Graeme Smith (SA): Oh Graeme...why must you put us Saffa fans through this? You know we will support you because you are a good cricketer...but will you get your shit together?! Anyway, you are approved for growing as a leader. But for that only..NOTHING ELSE!

Andrew Strauss (Eng): Oh God! Okay fine, he actually batted well. It's because he was born in South Africa though, so don't get too excited.

Daniel Vettori (NZ): A hundred times yes. It will always be yes for Dan. Even if he gives away a thousand runs and makes consecutive ducks.

AB de Villiers (SA): I am a little skeptical about this one simply because JP also had an amazing season. If AB got this nomination because of the IPL, then no. If otherwise, then yes.