"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Thursday, September 17, 2009

ICC: Incessant Crack Consumers

They announced the short list for the 2009 awards:

Cricketer of the Year:
MS Dhoni, Gautam Gambhir, Mitchell Johnson, Andrew Strauss

Test Player of the Year: Gautam Gambhir, Mitchell Johnson, Thilan Samaraweera, Andrew Strauss

ODI Player of the Year: Shivnarine Chanderpaul, MS Dhoni, Yuvraj Singh, Virender Sehwag

Emerging Player of the Year: Ben Hilfenhaus, Graham Onions, Jesse Ryder, Peter Siddle

No Steyn, AB or Smith. They got jealous of Steyn's immaculate bowling; AB told them that he would set Jesus on their ass for being crack whores and Smithy called them 'naughty'. That scared them. They didn't want their wives to know the story behind that.

NO SHAKIB EITHER. Well no surprises there. Seeing as the ICC didn't even include Bangladesh in the Champions Trophy. I'm beginning to think the ICC will be the death of cricket. They won't support the bottom ranked teams and won't nominate players who worked their ass off to put their team in the number 1 position.

Why play cricket then?

So that the crack whores can make money to buy more drugs and make decisions under the influence. It's time Freddie, Hersch, Jesse, Asif and Symonds took a crack at it.

17 comments:

Bella said...

Whats the use in being the #1 squad in ODI and Tests if your men don't get rewarded? We should boycott the ceremony, seeing that it is being held in Jo'burg.

Mary Jane said...

ICC has gone nuts! ..over looking players from the No.1 team in the world is Bullshit!

Purna!! How could they leave out Shakib, even after you bribed them?? shocking eh?! :)

scorpicity said...

Hear this. Australia has been nominated for the "spirit of cricket" award.

ICC does have a sense of humor.

Stani Army said...

AB and Smithy should definitely be in. People who diss the ICC dont understand the selection criteria.

Cricketer of the year: had to be either from Aus, Eng or India

Test player of the year: had to be left handed (samaraweera was a tactically thrown in to put people off the scent)

ODI player of the year: had to be from India (once again, Shiv thrown in as a tactic)

And emerging player of the year: had to be white.

See, it all makes sense now.

annoymous said...

Cant be believe AB has been overlooked for everything, I now want to send hate mail to the ICC, Smithy should have been nominated to, but there seems to be a joke doing the rounds that he was snubbed because they wanted him off the guest list because of his ahem guest at the ceremony, they were afraid it would scare the guests. But seriously it is a joke and the ceremony is in our country, talk about insulting the hosts

Purna said...

Bella, you should stage a protest outside. I think the ICC forgot that they will be holding the awards in SA. Can't wait to see how Saffers welcome these jokers.

MJ, how the Aussies still made the shortlist...I don't know!
Yes, the ICC backstabbed me...they will pay.

Scorpi, it's the heroine talking. Don't listen to them.

Stani, you sit on this nomination board don't you? I should have known from all the drug rumours.
(I know you were being sarcastic, but I couldn't let this go)

Annoy (lol), Smithy is scary enough with his tender comments and questionable touching. I bet they didn't want HIM at the awards, his guest had nothing to do with it :P.

Stani Army said...

Purnmeister,

I'm a firm believer that drugs should be allowed in sport and whoever wants to take them can take them. My logic; if drugs are truly bad then these people will not last in the game = an eventual drug free sport. Genius!

OR

Have one competition for the druggies and another for the clean players. The first can be run by the Incessant Crack Consumers and the second by the International Cricket Council....or are they the same?

I don't really believe any of the above. Sorry for wasting mine and your time. At least I made you think though eh? And that's a mission at the best of times.

Purna said...

Your mindless comments need no thinking.

Arm Ball said...

Is having a lot many Indians a problem for stani or is it no Saffer which is a trouble ?

I piss when i see Chandu in there, and why so much support for a shakib who is another associate nation hunter but a cropper against stronger ones.....

we dont need icc to award or appease every country. yes smith n Ab deserved to be there. but there is no contention on Gambhir and Dhoni.

Pakistanis would fume on this but then they didnt play a single test in their 2008.

Arm Ball said...

Stani,

ICC test player of the year : Mohd Yusuf.

ICC ODI player of the year : Younis Khan

ICC player of year : Shahid Afridi...

but my son this is for ODIs and Tests...we dont have this awards for drug banned players or T20 players....

As usual like a typical Pakistani fan, you are obsessed with everything Indian.

grow up man.

Purna said...

Arm Ball, I am Bangladeshi and Shakib is awesome. He may not be a player of the year contender yet but he happens to hold the title of the number one ODI all-rounder in cricket right now. A title bestowed upon him by the same crack whores.

I have a problem with the Aussies making it and not the Saffers.

I don't remember India playing at all last year..other than the T20 and IPL...so I can't comment on that.

Arm Ball said...

oh you dont ?

Besides IPL and T20 ?

Brush off yyour brains gal. you write too good. i must say but history is a bit of concern area.

2008 India cricket.

go google!!

Purna said...

I live in Canada so get very limited access to cricket. That and I couldn't care less about who India is playing :). Although now that I have started blogging, I will have to sit through that torture I guess.

Thanks for the compliment.

kissmycricket said...

Shakib Al Hasan is the BOMB.

Haha, yeah I think so. What the fuck were they thinking not including AB in the nominations.

And what did Andrew Strauss do to get the cricketer of the year nomination?

kissmycricket said...

Shakib Al Hasan is the BOMB.

Haha, yeah I think so. What the fuck were they thinking not including AB in the nominations.

And what did Andrew Strauss do to get the cricketer of the year nomination?

Purna said...

Kiss, you are quickly becoming my favourite new blogger.

Strauss is the token SA nomination. That way they can say they didn't overlook the Saffers and the team that funds their drug habits won't get mad.

Aditya said...

Biggest joke is Onions getting an emerging players nomination ahead of Philip Hughes and Amit Mishra !

and Strauss getting two nominations! remember he was the same captain who lost a test series in the west indies!

after seeing this list of probables initially (http://www.cricinfo.com/ci-icc/content/story/422973.html)
no one would have expected a final list like this!

@stani army
Pakistan is assured of an award either for afridi or gul. my money is on Afridi. Not everything is fixed!

and not to include SA in any nomination is just utter stupidity!

Anyhow the whole process is based on votes which has a panel from all the member countries!

May be lalit modi has a hand in this after all ;)