"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Sunday, September 6, 2009

ICC Awards 2009: Emerging Player of the Year

More nominations. This is by far the shittiest list. The Saffers have been overlooked...AGAIN! I'm beginning to think the ICC pulls these names out of their ass. Of all the teams in the world, South Africa had the most promising, exciting and solid debutantes ever! But the ICC refuses to acknowledge them. BASTARDS! Here is there list and why they all are UNDESERVING AND CRAP!

Emerging Player

Martin Guptill (NZ): How is it that one of the most avid followers of cricket (i.e. me) has not heard of this guy? Guess what that means ICC...he sucks and should not have been nominated!

Ben Hilfenhaus (Aus): OVER PARNELL?? OR ROFL?? Give me an instance where Hilfy single-handedly won the game for Australia. He can't even bat! Parnell and ROFL on the other hand are future all rounders!

Philip Hughes (Aus): For having amazing twittering skills eh? Stop making such a big deal about him. He thinks he is already awesome, which makes him under perform.

Amit Mishra (Ind): I am launching an investigation to find out exactly why any Indian cricketer was nominated for this year's awards. My hunches tell me it was because of a certain Modi...

Graham Onions (Eng): It's his name that's made him popular not his bowling. Don't confuse the two. People do make fun of both is name and his bowling though.

Kemar Roach (WI): I agree with this one,but not at the expense of my Saffa boys. I'm also launching an investigation to find out whether he REALLY signed a contract.

Jesse Ryder (NZ):..................................................I was stunned by this one for the longest time. This trend of acknowledging overweight cricketers has really got to go. This isn't Sumo Wrestling. His face alone looks like the bottom of a barrel. OBESE CRICKETERS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO PLAY! I thought we established that when the US wanted to come into international cricket.

Peter Siddle (Aus): If we were to have a contest with Siddle and Parnie to see who can hit the stumps the most who do you think will win? Hint: He was not involved in an epic Test defeat this year.

I demand that the ICC sit on their behinds and actually use their brains to make another list. There's something seriously wrong with an award that acknowledges Kemar Roach over JP Duminy. Then again, my research tells me that Shaun Tait won this in 2007. Aah, so this category is not to be taken seriously. I get it now!


The Cricket Corollary said...

I'm shocked as well. How could they leave ROFL out?

Random question here. Is it just me or is Paine(AUS keeper) really aweful. He must be the worst keeper ever? I can't help but laugh at him.


Purna said...

I swear they accepted money and ROFL didn't get the memo.

He is painfully bad! Looks like a stick trying to figure out where the ball is coming from. I am personally shocked because I have the highest regard for Australia's Cricket Academy. Their training seems to be degenerating! He is going to be playing in the Champions Trophy..now Aus will surely lose!

The Cricket Corollary said...

I was gloating when Lucky Luke took his wicket, but then again, Paine caught Unlucky Luke behind the stumps.


Purna said...

He was quite surprised when he caught it too!

I think it's time Luke the Hobbit finds his fellow hobbits in the cricket world..otherwise he might be losing the battle for middle earth badly!

The Cricket Corollary said...

Brandon, did you forget Parny?