"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

ICC Awards 2009: Cricketer of the Year

The nominations are out and ICC is majorly confused! There are like 20 nominees for each category. They should take me on as a jury member..I will shorten the list for them. Here I go.

Cricketer of the Year

Shivnarine Chanderpaul (WI): He gets nominated every year but never wins. So why nominate him? Consolation prizes are not required.

Tillakaratne Dilshan (SL): Based on what? The IPL isn't counted here is it? IT BETTER NOT BE!

Mahendra Singh Dhoni (Ind): For his modeling skills and finally realizing that long hair is not cool...hang on! This is a Cricket award..OUT!

Gautam Gambhir (Ind): Ok. Yeah..why not? He can be one of the nominees, but you know he won't win.


Mitchell Johnson (Aus): Oval...Lords...bitter mother...South Africa...broken hand...Mitch had an eventful year and actually managed to get some results. Ok, Mitch, you are in.

Graham Onions (Eng): HAHA! Was Lilly Allen in this selection panel? Let's not stink up the awards please.

Thilan Samaraweera (SL): Yes, he is awesome.

Kumar Sangakkara (SL): Approved. He is Sanga. Enough said.

Harbhajan Singh (Ind): Umm...maybe if he slaps Onions and makes him cry!

Graeme Smith (SA): Oh Graeme...why must you put us Saffa fans through this? You know we will support you because you are a good cricketer...but will you get your shit together?! Anyway, you are approved for growing as a leader. But for that only..NOTHING ELSE!

Andrew Strauss (Eng): Oh God! Okay fine, he actually batted well. It's because he was born in South Africa though, so don't get too excited.

Daniel Vettori (NZ): A hundred times yes. It will always be yes for Dan. Even if he gives away a thousand runs and makes consecutive ducks.

AB de Villiers (SA): I am a little skeptical about this one simply because JP also had an amazing season. If AB got this nomination because of the IPL, then no. If otherwise, then yes.


Stani Army said...

Will Dhoni stop trying to be sexy.

Whoever wins, Vettori will only accuse them of cheating.

The Cricket Corollary said...

Dilshan for sure ;)


Purna said...

Stop hating on Vettori.

Dilshan? I'm actually going for Shakib for this one. I wouldn't mind if AB won as well...as long as they don't bring up the IPL.

Why did they pick Graeme over other Saffas?

The Cricket Corollary said...

He's Captain Courageous of course. *roll eyes

Maybe because he won SA's Player of the Year.