Thanks to the fucking ECB. 'We need to make the 32219 mindless people that follow Jimmy and Swanny on Twitter actually come out of their basements and attend tests matches, even when the Aussies aren't here. What should we do? Oh I know! Hook the BD boys to the shock machine and send voltages of current through them!'.
FUCKERS! You had to pick the team that is most unstable and clearly has enough issues to work through, without having to worry about all the problems that a day-night test match will give rise to. Why didn't this strike you during the Ashes may I ask? I'll answer this one too. Because then, even this spineless Aussie team would have whooped your ass like they are doing in the ODI's. Don't give me all that shit about Broad being brilliant in the last test. We all know that when the sun sets, Broad grows his wings, changes into his pixie outfit and flies away.
Done venting. Onto this day-night test stuff. I'm conflicted. But I must warn you a lot of my views come from a short discussion with my friend AA (He who shall not be named). This just means I am giving him credit for some of the things I am about to say:
1) It's about time test cricket went through some renovations
2) The pink ball (preposterous choice of colour!) may not do much...not that the white ball does anything. The ultimate result: Cricket becomes more of a batsman game. And this is supposed to be Test cricket's answer to T20!!
3) The drop in temperature means dew will accumulate, changing the pitch and making the seam soggy. Excellent! Then all teams can make 600 runs/innings and all matches can end in draws. How exciting!
4) Focusing under lights for 5 whole days...Dan better copyright his 'skinny white man with glasses look'. Soon there will be replicas everywhere.
5) Those fantastic blind umpires! What a great way for them to make more wrong decisions and blame it on the lack of natural light?
6) No more twittering cricketers. They will be too tired at night and too distracted by the game in the morning. Whatever will we do?
Ugh, too many things to consider! Knowing my BD boys, they will crumble badly under the pressure. What a sneaky way to inch your way to the top England.
Screw you ECB. Just SCREW YOU!