Shortening the nominees list further...
Test Player of the Year
Stuart Broad (Eng): ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Let's do the math,ok? The Ashes had five tests, he performed in two only. One of which they lost miserably. In the other one he got wickets because Australia performed poorly. To be deserving of an award you need to be able to produce results yourself. Broad in incapable of doing that when the conditions aren't ideal and when the opposition is playing well. Withdraw his name IMMEDIATELY!
Michael Clarke (Aus): Saved Australia's ass in two tests, couldn't perform in the one that counted, highest run getter of the series, engaged to Lara Bingle...I guess he is in. It's all about cricket after all.
Mahendra Singh Dhoni (Ind): Him again? I can't even remember the last time India played a test. Why are these players nominated?
Tillakaratne Dilshan (SL): Yes. This one definitely excludes the IPL. Dilshan makes the other team panic. I like that.
Gautam Gambhir (Ind): I think he had a good year. Like I said I can't remember. But I'll leave him in because again, he won't win :).
Shakib Al Hasan (Ban): FANTASTIC all-rounding performance against both WI and SL, leading the team for the first time AND winning. He is glued to this list.
Mitchell Johnson (Aus): Things are not going well for Australia...so I guess yes.
VVS Laxman (Ind): No. See reason above.
Jesse Ryder (NZ): I think the ICC included his name because they were required by law to include at least one overweight player. Hello ICC, you made that quota with Graeme Smith already. Please take this mess out.
Thilan Samaraweera (SL): Not till Muttiah is gone dude. You rock, but we'll see how you do when you don't have him to back you up.
Ramnaresh Sarwan (WI): I love the fact that he got it over Chris Gayle, so yes!
Peter Siddle (Aus): No. Two Australians from this current horrendous squad is enough.
Harbhajan Singh (Ind): Care to bowl in some grounds outside of India to prove you are a good spinner? No? That's what I thought.
Graeme Smith (SA): For playing with his broken hand...and scoring runs, yes. But please wear a suit that hides your bulges and don't take your girlfriend to the ceremony.
Dale Steyn (SA): Without a doubt yes! Steynki, I can't wait to see you rip England apart!
Andrew Strauss (Eng): No. I kept him in the Cricketer of the Year nomination list. That's enough.
Graeme Swann (Eng): Yes, please let's give Graeme Swann an award for performing in one test out of all the 40 that he had played in. If he gets the award, I am officially renaming the ICC as International Crap-lover's Council.
Daniel Vettori (NZ): Yes. Can we also get him a new team with the award?
AB de Villiers (SA): For this one, yes. Tremendous patience and growth over the season. But if you win it, take the credit. Don't attribute it to Jesus please!