England watch

These fools can't seem to keep themselves out of the news. It's not pleasant to have every god damn Crapinfo headline about these bunch of idiots. Then again, why am I suprised? It's Crapinfo. Based in UK and run by the freaking Queen!

Collingwood suffers buttock niggle

First of all, who comes up with these headlines and why can't they reveal themselves instead of using 'Cricinfo staff'? Second of all, notice the terms. It is one buttock and the injury is a niggle. What the fuck is a niggle? An ant bite? In which case, I must rename him Dolly. Poor, delicate Dolly is crying because he destroyed an ant hill and the mighty colony attacked him with tiny swords that gave him a niggle. The niggle has henceforth ruled him out the Champions League. For fuck's sake! If you are going to pull out of a series because of fatigue then say so! Or at least get a more respectable injury. Bloody Poms!

I am slightly grateful for the injury though. It's because of this line:

Collingwood's injury is the same as the one which ruled out England all-rounder Stuart Broad from the Champions Trophy semi-final.

I checked with Jimmy and he didn't think Colly was edible. I certainly didn't injure him. I was here the whole time. Posting. So what is this? Brotherly love? I believe the family that injures their buttocks together, stays together. Or something pathetic like that.

I did it just for you bro...just for you

Have any of you realized how the Crapinfo staff has sneakily used the term 'all-rounder' to describe Broad? Broad bats twice in the Ashes and he becomes an all-rounder. Next we'll be hearing that Graeme Swann is the new Shane Warne. What? I didn't say it! They did!

FYI Stuart, the person whose shoes you are trying to fill, that jellybean called Freddie, yeah he said that if he sustains another injury he will retire completely. If you are really trying to follow in his footsteps, you will do the same. Even if its a fucking niggle on your ass!