List of Clowns in SA this November

Gordon Brown's men are packing their wigs, fake noses and white pancakes to make an epic journey to the land where most of them were born in. The Clowns will enter Safferland in hopes of making the locals laugh with their attempt to play cricket. They got a head start with the joy spreading for finally getting the number three batting position to vomit Bopara out and for giving the world a chance to laugh at Harmison...again!

The mission: Vendetta

The twist: The reject, KP, has been included in the team despite having the healing abilities of a 200 year old.

This Fall get ready for a family reunion filled with under-aged Pixies, warm up football matches that cause injuries and 12th men that like to impress pageant judges with their snail-like catwalk to the pitch.

November 2009, at a stadium near you.

Test squad Andrew Strauss (capt), James Anderson, Ian Bell, Stuart Broad, Alastair Cook, Paul Collingwood, Steven Davies, Graham Onions, Kevin Pietersen, Liam Plunkett, Matt Prior, Adil Rashid, Ryan Sidebottom, Graeme Swann, Jonathan Trott, Luke Wright

One-day squad Andrew Strauss (capt), James Anderson, Tim Bresnan, Stuart Broad, Paul Collingwood, Alastair Cook, Joe Denly, Sajid Mahmood, Eoin Morgan, Graham Onions, Kevin Pietersen, Matt Prior, Adil Rashid, Graeme Swann, Jonathan Trott, Luke Wright

(Yes, that is indeed Alastair Cook's name that you are reading. He has been included for having a big heart and giving away his wicket as soon as he arrives.)