"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Sunday, December 27, 2009

T2D2: Dale is a batsman now

Which is clearly why he has lost his bowling skills. But let's talk about the batting first. Bouch and AB were excellent in the morning. Almost made up for the horrendous start yesterday. Then Bouch had to go and get out to Swannyg66. URGH! I think someone is punishing me for...I don't know why! I am such a lovely person! Very ready to dislike people/things but I am quite pleasant. No, really.

I bet Poppy Flower has changed his mind about the UDRS. Now, it will become the greatest invention since T20's. So fair, takes the game forward and all that crap. Freaking opportunist!

Okay, Dale's batting. Three sixes off Graeme Swann. That just made me forgive him for all the atrocious bowling over the last couple of months. Of course he got himself back on the hit list during England's innings, but damn he was good to watch. Take that Graham Onions. You block, we smack. Of course not all the time but whatever. Dale can be a very handy lower order batsman when he wants to. As can Ntini because he never gets out. Really, when was the last time Maky wasn't not out? I can't even remember.

Oh, the bowling! Fuck me if it wasn't worse than rubbish. At one point, there was at least one four scored in every over. No matter who was bowling. Obviously if the Saffers lose this they are going to release some silly regret statement over not dropping Makhaya. He was so fucking bad even his biggest supporter Biff (pffft!) didn't want to play him again. Alastair friggin' Cook looked solid against this bowling! There's something so very wrong with that sentence.

Dale was no good. Not horrendous but no good either. Morne bowled 'a' beauty, otherwise he was just about okay. Harris wasn't exceptional. He is never exceptional, he just gets wickets. Which he didn't and now fucking England is 103/1. Clearly they are cruising at this point but tomorrow is a new day. It better be a new day else Mickey and Biff won't be able to sleep at night with all the Friedel lovers planning their assassination.

The best bit of commentary in the whole match was when Biff was showing his nasty legs to Shaun and he said 'It wasn't a pretty sight, those white legs'. Oh Polly! Use cucumbers. They work wonderfully for sore eyes.


Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

oh sorry, didn't know there was more coming :D
Yeah Dale batted great, I shall call him Nathan Steyn from now on. No wickets till Hammersmith but oh so nice with the bat.
I don't think assassination is still necessary. The regret was lingering in the air, you could touch it. Either Makh takes 9 wickets tomorrow or Friedel will return. The latter will happen, unless 100% of the guys involved in the decision have brains like Swiss cheese.

Purna said...

How about you call Ritzy Dale Hauritz instead?
And what if the Saffers lose by then...

Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

Yeah. Anyone else pissed off by this match ¬ ¬
If it wasn't for Morne The Great I would have stopped following it

Purna said...

Wes, I killed my watch after checking the score in the morning.

Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

Oh Purna I am sorry... how many watches have crossed the Jordan since that first one? :(:(:(
Horrible. A disaster. A catastrophe. And my mate is sure that Ntini will get picked for the 3rd test :/
I guess Dale will have to be 5 batsmen again?