"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Monday, December 21, 2009

Makhaya's fridge

Maky became the first coloured player in South Africa to play 100 tests. Only 7 fast bowlers and 49 cricketers (out of 2,600) have achieved this feat.

If I were a fast bowler playing in my 100th test I would want ten wickets, a cricket ground named after me or my own team with 11 fast bowlers. I would have to work very hard for the ten wickets, the cricket ground would make me the most hated person and my team would lose to even Canada. But that's what I would have wanted. Over a fridge.

That's right. Maky got a fridge for his sweat, injuries and hard work. Castle Lager hopes he will fill it with their beers I'm sure, which indirectly means their sales go up. What if he has no space in his house for a fridge? What if the fridge completely fucks up his kitchen setting? What if his wife does not want another fridge?

Castle Lager did not think this through. They just found the cheapest thing on sale and got it for him. It doesn't even encompass anything he is. Makhaya is a firing, fast, fierce individual with a rhino forehead and wants to knock every batsman's head off. The fridge is a cooling appliance and just sits there.

Nope, they did not think this through at all. If it were upto me I would give Ntini a jacuzzi where steaming hot water rushes down at great speed and mesmerizes everybody. Or I would just give him the Niagara Falls.

Ndingi Express and Ndingi Falls. Sounds befitting. Ndingi freeze your ass into perfection...not so much. Even Maky agrees:

"I am leaving this behind..."


Leela said...


Purna said...

Yes Leela. You would think he bought a house..or just got married!

Poshin_david said...

A Fridge? Must be some promotional stuff they're giving to him free....

But I certainly am a huge fan of Ntini....

Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

hahah well, I mean if you look at all those other gifts sponsors deem useful I would prefer the fridge anytime. For instance, during the Aussie series in India, half of the Australian team got equipped with little red mopeds. I was so hoping that one of the guys would become MOTM twice and go home with two of these embarrassing vehicles.

Or look at the recent series, Chris Gayle got a mobile phone. Chris Gayle. The man with his own plane. I am sure a mobile phone with an Australian contract is something he was craving all his life. Oh, maybe he can use it during his T20 cameo.

Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

Ye Mortals!

Read this scripture carefully.
From the very first to the very last sentence.
Then read it again.
Then start to memorise it.
Then recite it.
In the morning when you get up.
In the evening when you go to sleep.
Before your meals.
And thereafter.
In moments of joy.
In moments of sorrow.

Follow the Neck.

Purna said...

Wes, Gayle has his own plane?? WHAT THE HELL! And thank you sooo much for that article. It was funny. Although I must tell you Aussies will NEVER say good things about an English cricketer.

Unless it's Michael Vaughan and the 2005 Ashes maybe.

Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

Umm. He obviously pulled my leg successfully. Damn voodoo man! My eyeballs fell out when I read it
But that tweet was obviously a joke. Oh man it was so credible :(
Gayle article