"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Sunday, December 27, 2009

T2D1: Biff is Watto's only friend

The first half-an-hour of the day was fucking nerve-wrecking. James Anderson and Graham Onions kept on giving me a heart-attack with every delivery. But I do appreciate good bowling, as long as it is not coming from Stuart Broad or Graeme Swann (smirk). It was fun to watch. Except when Ashy P and Hashim Amla decided they have had enough for the day. What the fuck are the selectors thinking keeping Ashwell Prince in this game? Do South Africa not have a test opener?

No wait, they do. His name is Herschelle Gibbs. Even when he is out of form he is a thousand times better than Ashy P and Neil McKenzie. And with Graeme Swann taking majority of the wickets (groan), surely they need their best player of spin in the team to talk some sense into them? Fucking Mickey and his pea brain.

I have to mention Biff's run out. He was trying to take some of the heat off Watto it seems. It was not as poetic as Watto's but damn, when was the last time you saw a gigantic buffalo take a dive? I swear there was an earthquake till Canada. Of course it was AB's fault for hoping that his precious captain was as quick on his feet as him. Son, Jesus walking on water was fine and all but Biff taking a quick single? Now that would take some skill.

JP is killing me. He really is.

Did Geoffrey Boycott actually say that Biff's run out by Cook was like Jonty's? Oh poor man! I think he is becoming senile. They were wondering when Cook was going to dive...HAHAHAHAHAHA. Honey, he don't dive. He just bats his eyelashes and the wickets fall. His own.


Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

Merciless cold woman, you are hurting me :(
He was so poor trying to get his bat in :(:(:(
My poor poor clumsy poor Smithy bear :(
I am half asneef :(

Being clueless I was wondering... is there anyone who finds Prince as useless as a pimple on the backside? But seems there are two of us already. Good.

Ntini made me cringe too, sorry. How could this happen... they are trying to talk him up like "yeah he is getting faster the longer he bowls" but hey they need a fire brigade and they need it *now*, Morne and Dale can't take 20 wickets within 2 days!

Oh Morne what a beauty...
What a funking orsim nuclear blast behind Strarse's butt!!!! I bounced through the room laughing and screeching like not right in the head, that was about the best wicket of this entire Boxing Day circus.

And why does The Boucher look like bloody Bono (seriously these shades are horrid)???

Purna said...

Ntini is going through a bad phase. Normally it would be fine, because age does get to you and he is very experienced. But for the fact that Friedel is there to replace him and they are playing him for the wrong reasons.

You don't like Bono??? His shades are a bit...yellow.

Vim said...

Cook is Jonty like Barbie is Sobers/McGrath... seriously, the English commentators say these things. Shit, they compared Bopara to Tendulkar.

Hubris doesn't even begin to describe it.

WTF has happened to Dale Steyn? And Ntini, you don't feed Strauss short balls, didn't they watch MJ's near nervous breakdown in the Ashes? After all, there was lessons in that for all of us.

The MG said...

Oh, my god, that last paragraph is brilliant! Has me in stitches!!!

Anonymous said...

There a few who can compare with Jonty when it comes to fielding - and Cook sure as hell ain't one of them. Geoffrey Boycott doesn't know what he's on about - this is the guy who said My Lord NMH couldn't bowl his grandmother. I won't forget that in a hurry. Neither will Mrs Boycott, if I have anything to do with it.

I like Boucher, but I'm with Wes on the shades ... I hope some fancy spectacle company is paying him a fortune to wear them. If not, he should be thoroughly ashamed of himself.

Purna said...

MG, thanks!

Sid, he should be unless the shades help him save this match...