WHY GOD WHY?
You allowed the rain gods to grant the Poms a victory. I sulked, but accepted it.
You gave Graeme Swann wickets. I avoided it with great pain, but I accepted it.
Then you gave Swann runs. I narrowly escaped life-long coma trying to avoid that, but somehow I managed.
England drew the first test, I sighed. But accepted it.
Alastair Cook got a century, I was asleep so didn't have to see the atrocious occurence. Then he got out, so again, I accepted it.
Ian Bell is 55 not out and they have a 43 run lead. My new watch is resting in peace but I still accepted it.
Now Watson has a test century...you have snatched everything away from me! I AM RUINED! Left with no more humour in my life. Only painful tears like those in Sarah Palin's eyes. I am shattered, distressed, crooning to Barry Manilow songs. My days are dark and dreary. Which cricketer will I make fun of now?
Can Mascarenhas replace Jimmy please?