"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Thursday, December 17, 2009

T1D2: Let Ian Bell bowl

Why not? The Saffers have no intention of winning this, they are fighting for a draw. They are going to bat defensively all day long and tire the English bowlers out. It's not like they can come up with something brilliant without the impatience and the stupidity of the Saffer batsmen anyway (JP, Imma shave your brains...). And it's a brilliant plan okay? They don't have bowlers who can take wickets and three more tests after this. Sure it's fucked that they won't go for the win, but beggars can't be choosers. So it's fine. Even if it works better than your sleeping pill. You never said anything about entertainment! You just wanted to watch Test cricket. So watch and stop whining. Or ask CSA to fly Sulieman Benn in.

Mark Boucher can still bat in tests (how the Aussies will come to bite me in the ass about his 49 now!) and Onions the stinker hit Morne while Barbie went after Harris. Methinks Barbie was upset with Harris' perfect hair. His own has not been doing well lately. What with all the pulling and tearing while he tries to figure out how to pick up wickets on a pitch that does not assist his bowling. But it's okay dear. You are an all-rounder remember? You don't need to pick up wickets all the time. You are just there to assist the real pacers.

That's about it for the Saffers batting. Now onto the bowling. What? Who took five wickets? Sorry, I didn't see beyond the 110 runs. It was fucking brilliant! Out of the 418 Saffers runs, 110 came off Swannyg66. Twitter about that bastard!

"Gave 110 runs to the Saffers today. I wet myself with joy and Jimmy claimed he could wet himself better than me. Join us in our wet off!"

Right, onto the bowling. If you were at the ground watching the match live, AB de Villiers is the reason you didn't get a beer on Makhaya. I was appalled that he dropped that. How could you AB? People need beer. Give them their BEER!

But overall, it wasn't as woeful as I thought it would be. Wet certainly won some hearts by striking first but it was Cook. Even I would have gotten that wicket from here in Canada. However, the match is still even and that's all I'm asking for really.

Parting thought for today is, I like the referral system. Because it has worked for the Saffers so far, even with the Trott decision. It was dubious. There is no objectivity here and I'm sure you didn't even expect it. If it works for South Africa and Bangladesh it's great. If it doesn't,  DOWN WITH IT! Or not. We'll see.

4 comments:

Wes said...

It's turning out bloody darn interesting, good job by the Greenlings so far. I want Friedel to take a couple more though.

Purna said...

All they need to do is bat through Day 4. Then pick up wickets regularly. That's not too much to ask for is it?

Vim said...

Swanny did bowl beautifully and then bat far better than anyone else. So my predictions were up the Swanny so to speak.

Got to give him credit, he dragged the English attack along when no-one else would.

I'm not particularly happy with Morne. Why does he keep being potential and not actual?

Purna said...

Vim, don't ditch me in my quest against Swanny! I did see him bat. He did a fine job. But don't tell anyone.

Morne is going through that phase where he is realizing that he actually has to deliver and he can't ride on what people think he will be able to do one day. He is freaking slow at getting there, but he will. Trust me.