"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Dear Santa, from the Indians

Dear Santa,

Everybody is mad at me because I didn't let Uncle score a century. But Uncle told me, why worry? I have enough. This I gift to you. So I took it and hit a six. But no one knows and Uncle is too tired from all those years of carrying India on his shoulders to make a statement. Can you please dress up as Uncle and make a public statement? You already have the curly hair. Just dye it black and shave the beard for a day. Okay? Okay. Merry Christmas!

Dear Santa,

When I was a young boy, I was thin. Now I am still a young boy but I am fat. It's all those hugs from Preity Zinta. She squeezes my sides so hard that all my fat come and accumulate in the lower middle gut. I have told her to stop but she won't listen. Now my fingers have fat in them and it is too much work to carry the bat. What I want for Christmas is the Mongoose bat so that it's easier to carry and my sausage fingers don't have to do too much work. Thank you!

Dear Santa,

Since I am already brilliant as a spinner and a pinch-hitter, all I want for Christmas is a red turban. That is all. I have everything else you see, including a life-long spot in the starting XI. Merry Christmas!


raj said...

Good one Purna :-)
Any article dissing Durbhajan Singh must be good!

Anonymous said...

You are on quite a role aren't you.

Maybe on the last day of Christmas, all these will come true.

Great work haha.

pRAFs said...

dear santa,
i have been a good boy all year. i haven't sweared at anyone during or after the game, no over the top celebrations either. I even kissed and made up with the guy who slapped me.. then why am i having this bout of flu and being kept out of the team... i feel like crying...

may be bhajji was right, there is no santa

Purna said...

Raj, then there will be plenty more from me.

KK, thanks!

pRAFs, I don't think Santa likes kissing boys.