"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Friday, December 25, 2009

Dear Santa, from the Windies

Dear Santa,

We are all going to write one letter because frankly, we don't get paid enough. It's because of all this five days nonsense on the field. I have to carry all my shades in my pockets so I can change them every half-an-hour. Also the outfits are so boring! In the IPL...

Chris, can I please ask for my gift before you start talking about the IPL? Thanks. Santa, I want Chris Gayle to become a freelancer and give up his test captaincy to me. If not that, at least give me an IPL contract mon! Leading Trinidad & Tobago is no easy job you know! Plus, I am better looking than him. Now if I were captain...

Oh shut up mon! Santa does not have so much time. Hi Santa! I actually want you to deliver some gifts for me. Here is a replica of my hand- it is designed to get in Johnson's way no matter where he is. And here's a replica of my face for Haddin's wife. I don't know mon, she asked for it. She said at least you are a soldier. My husband on the other hand...no I won't say it. Tis the season to be jolly. Okay bye. Chris, he has gotta go!

Wait..what's your name again? San-ta? Santa? Okay Santa, about the IPL. A flying sledge? I have one. I'll meet you up there in mine then, we'll chat IPL. Ho Ho Ho!

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