"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Freddie and Socks

Since I am coming to this a little late, I'm sure all of you have already heard about Flintoff's new range of socks. The artist in Flintoff has come alive after his retirement and instead of painting shit with cricket balls, he has resorted to designing socks.

Why socks you ask? Good question. The socks will magnetically draw your attention away from your knees, which in Flintoff world is always a priority. I've already sent them an email suggesting Joe Denly should be the face of this.

The socks will also come in handy when you want to stuff your mouth before making an utterly obnoxious comment to a batsman, resulting in complete demolition of your team-mate's ego. Broad will get a free sample so he can gag Freddie for 'that day'.

Finally, the socks and its designs will make for a delightfully absurd conversation to hide the fact that you are drunk and the real reason you are saying nonsense is because you have been chugging everything with alcohol in it since your birth. They are trying to land Andrew Symonds to market this but he seems to have dropped from the face of the Earth.

If any of the above is appealing, I suggest you buy Freddie's socks this Christmas. But if I were you, the only Freddie related thing I would buy is Jrod's new book on the Ashes, where Freddie becomes Jesus.

Was the transformation from socks to Jesus or Jesus to socks? Either way, it's a miracle and that is really the essence of Christmas.

2 comments:

Sidthegnomenator said...

Andrew Symonds now works in a sweatshop in Taiwan ... incidentally, he is manufacturing beer-scented socks with pictures of pedaloes on them.

Purna said...

Taiwan you say? but how did they pass him off as a child amongst the other workers?