TILL THE SAFFERS TAKE ON THE AUSSIES.
That is all.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Australia try to intimidate the Proteas
Australians are well known for their mind games. Seeing as their trash talks haven't worked in a while and their team is currently a subject of 'snickering secretly while pretending to intelligently analyze what went wrong', they are trying new tactics. For example, they sent a T20 captain who is...well a visual monstrosity. As in he is ugly. He is so ugly that he makes Ricky Ponting look pretty.
Oh dear...
Such level of ugliness can only be meant to scare the crap out of our Protea boys. Talent and strategies, they can deal with. But how the hell do you deal with an ugly gentleman looking at you for eight hours? How do you battle bad looks?
However, Australia's other captain is campaigning for a bigger intimidation scheme. He is the Pup and he has a gigantic bat and ball. Err..that's no euphemism.
Courtesy of funny man MartyD
" I may have a teeny-tiny brain but my big bat and my big ball will sweep the Proteas out of the stadium".
Please note that your ball is damaged. Pun intended.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Thank you finger injury
So far life is sweet. AB the injured has been replaced by Hashim the bearded as captain. Good call Hudson, good call.
Of course it is pure coincidence. Believe me, for once, I had nothing to do with AB's injury. I thought about it once or twice, but even my powers aren't that great...yet.
Just in case you weren't following the news (shame on me for not keeping you up to date), following the glorious stepping down of Graeme the buffalo as ODI and T20 captain, AB was named as his replacement. Based on what? Does AB inspire his team-mates? Does he understand field placing? Does it even look like he understands anything other than batting and maybe wicket-keeping. Just maybe.
He is not that experienced. Neither is Amla for that matter. At least not internationally. But I would say of the two Amla is a better choice. Just for a second forget about the fact that Amla has skippered his local teams and the Proteas U19. Look at them as individuals.
Amla hangs back. He is quiet. He absorbs so much most people dismiss him as a negligible entity. Then he strikes.
AB jumps around. He talks too much. He always has to be the centre of attention. The star. The one everyone is sure to notice first and bank on.
This is not to say that only a certain type of individuals make good captains. Fleming and Vettori were the stars of their teams and they did just fine. More than fine. However, when you are more the "backroom guy" as Amla claims to be, most likely, you have a certain introspective capability that will propel your team to be the star. Specially when that team consists of a Steyn, a Kallis, a Duminy, a Smith (now, now, let's show him some love for his batting abilities), a Boucher (YAY!) and a Parnell.
Not a bad list of players to have under your belt.
Yes, Amla is a better choice. Because sometimes, the backroom guy is exactly what a team with great potential (and one measly international trophy...) needs. Someone who pulls the strings quietly and makes great things happen. No flamboyance and no singing.
Of course it is pure coincidence. Believe me, for once, I had nothing to do with AB's injury. I thought about it once or twice, but even my powers aren't that great...yet.
Just in case you weren't following the news (shame on me for not keeping you up to date), following the glorious stepping down of Graeme the buffalo as ODI and T20 captain, AB was named as his replacement. Based on what? Does AB inspire his team-mates? Does he understand field placing? Does it even look like he understands anything other than batting and maybe wicket-keeping. Just maybe.
He is not that experienced. Neither is Amla for that matter. At least not internationally. But I would say of the two Amla is a better choice. Just for a second forget about the fact that Amla has skippered his local teams and the Proteas U19. Look at them as individuals.
Amla hangs back. He is quiet. He absorbs so much most people dismiss him as a negligible entity. Then he strikes.
AB jumps around. He talks too much. He always has to be the centre of attention. The star. The one everyone is sure to notice first and bank on.
This is not to say that only a certain type of individuals make good captains. Fleming and Vettori were the stars of their teams and they did just fine. More than fine. However, when you are more the "backroom guy" as Amla claims to be, most likely, you have a certain introspective capability that will propel your team to be the star. Specially when that team consists of a Steyn, a Kallis, a Duminy, a Smith (now, now, let's show him some love for his batting abilities), a Boucher (YAY!) and a Parnell.
Not a bad list of players to have under your belt.
Yes, Amla is a better choice. Because sometimes, the backroom guy is exactly what a team with great potential (and one measly international trophy...) needs. Someone who pulls the strings quietly and makes great things happen. No flamboyance and no singing.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
New background
I made a new background and I am quite proud of it. But stupid blogger won't let you see it in all it's glory. So here it is.
It's pretty amateur, I know. But please like it and tell the world how good I am at cutting and pasting pictures on paint.
Twelve days to go..
Time for another SA vs Aus series. I've been waiting for this since...well, the last SA vs Aus series. Nothing and I mean NOTHING, makes me happier.
Dale Steyn and Mitchell Johnson will snarl and swear.
Ricky will want to repeat what was apparently his proudest moment as captain- a series victory in South Africa with his new, young, moderately talented team.
Morne will seek revenge. He took a LOT of heat from the Aussies last time. Deservedly so. He was a bitter disappointment.
ALLAN DONALD and GARY KIRSTEN are back, in a different capacity. They haven't tasted a victory against the Aussies as Proteas in AGES.
AB is injured and out.
The Proteas haven't played since the last ice age.
The Aussies have only beaten Sri Lanka in recent times. I don't even know if we should call Sri Lanka a team anymore. They have so many players, it's like an exchange student focus group. People come, share their stories and leave. No one stays long enough to form a solid foundation.
But that's not my problem right now. This series has all the makings of a true thriller.
All I want from this series is for Dale to knock someone out, Mitchell to have many different hairstyles, a comeback by Mark Boucher, Twatto's tears, Ricky spitting on Pup and a South African victory.
But really, I'll just settle for some good cricket. Talent vs talent, attitude vs attitude, brilliant strategies from Graeme Smith and Michael Clarke.
Okay, I'll take two out of three. It's not like I have a choice.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The era of English cricket?
This is no celebration. This is a question that may very well make or break my existence.
Do I live in a world where English cricketers are...well good?
This is not to say we haven't had some top English cricketers before. But winning games? That's new. Winning a World Cup and then becoming the number one test side in the world...well that's just fucking beginning of the earth kind of stuff isn't it?
They are a team that worked their way up and that definitely says a lot about them. I mean, this is a team that decided KP should captain them for fuck's sakes! They put their hope and dreams of a win on a man named Mascaraman. One of their go to bowlers distinctively resembles a little girl's doll. More often than not, that bowler bowls like a doll, without any brains.
Knock, knock. Who is there? Nobody. Cuz this is Stuart Broad's head.
But these bunch of jokers seem to have been offset by the powerful Andy Flower, the capable Jimmy and dare I say it...the *gulp* intelligent Andrew Strauss.
What is going on here? Who are they? Where have they come from? How did they inspire this attitude within the English camp? And why do I feel that the list does not end with these three? That there are more, brewing, inspiring, invoking an era of English domination?
I don't get it. Probably because when the Windies and the Aussies dominated, their teams were made up of snarling beasts who glared, bullied, towered, basically mafia-ed their way through the cricket world. The English team however are easy to overlook. Mostly because of their reputation and their predecessors of course but look how sneakily they rose to the top. So gently, so politely. Almost apologetically.
"Pardon us good sir, but we will sit here at the top if you will let us please".
Where is the arrogance? The attitude? The aura of champions?
I just don't get it.
Do I live in a world where English cricketers are...well good?
This is not to say we haven't had some top English cricketers before. But winning games? That's new. Winning a World Cup and then becoming the number one test side in the world...well that's just fucking beginning of the earth kind of stuff isn't it?
They are a team that worked their way up and that definitely says a lot about them. I mean, this is a team that decided KP should captain them for fuck's sakes! They put their hope and dreams of a win on a man named Mascaraman. One of their go to bowlers distinctively resembles a little girl's doll. More often than not, that bowler bowls like a doll, without any brains.
Knock, knock. Who is there? Nobody. Cuz this is Stuart Broad's head.
But these bunch of jokers seem to have been offset by the powerful Andy Flower, the capable Jimmy and dare I say it...the *gulp* intelligent Andrew Strauss.
What is going on here? Who are they? Where have they come from? How did they inspire this attitude within the English camp? And why do I feel that the list does not end with these three? That there are more, brewing, inspiring, invoking an era of English domination?
I don't get it. Probably because when the Windies and the Aussies dominated, their teams were made up of snarling beasts who glared, bullied, towered, basically mafia-ed their way through the cricket world. The English team however are easy to overlook. Mostly because of their reputation and their predecessors of course but look how sneakily they rose to the top. So gently, so politely. Almost apologetically.
"Pardon us good sir, but we will sit here at the top if you will let us please".
Where is the arrogance? The attitude? The aura of champions?
I just don't get it.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
I am two
I don't think this one counts though.
One has to blog to count a complete year right?
But there you have it. 2009 turned to 2010 and 2010 turned to 2011.
Yay me.
Okay, back to zombieland.
One has to blog to count a complete year right?
But there you have it. 2009 turned to 2010 and 2010 turned to 2011.
Yay me.
Okay, back to zombieland.
Friday, August 12, 2011
While I was away...
Somebody married the Buffalo.
Does she know he has the magical power to get bigger?
Err..in body size only.
Whatever. Maybe this will at least cause him to play better cricket.
Or else...
Does she know he has the magical power to get bigger?
Err..in body size only.
Whatever. Maybe this will at least cause him to play better cricket.
Or else...
Why should I return?
Have you been watching cricket recently? HAVE YOU?
England, on a quest to be the number one test team of the world, have magically tapped into their inner winner. I didn't even know such a thing existed with the Poms, but there you have it. They are kicking ass. Even Mascaraman is a winner this time around. He must have dug up his inner champion from someone else's grave.
India are on the receiving end of this new English attitude. Supposedly, they too are vying to be the new Australia (world champs+test champs+piss everyone off champs). A poor choice of ambition, considering their bowling attack consists of a staggering nobody.
But wait, who makes up England's bowling attack? James Anderson...and the obscure one hit wonders.
iLaugh.
India dies.
At the hands of a Barbie doll.
Then we have my countrymen who have attempted to disguise themselves in horrendous orange, lest they fail. I appreciate it, because it shows they are thinking ahead. "In case of yet another embarrassing performance, wear a different coloured uniform. All stones will be diverted to the wrong bus anyway".
Well Bangladesh, here's a line for you: If you try again and again without success, failure may just be your style.
I am beginning to believe that.
How can I end a post without talking about my beloved Proteas. Who you say? I say the same thing. Who are these non-existent, fleeting men in green who only show up for certain periods of the cricket season, and never stay for the climax?
*Insert dirty joke here*
So in a nutshell, this is the era of England and India (not choosing since I can't bear it to be the era of either), Bangladesh will replace Zimbabwe in the number 10th spot and the Proteas are too busy being degenerates.
Nobody loves me.
England, on a quest to be the number one test team of the world, have magically tapped into their inner winner. I didn't even know such a thing existed with the Poms, but there you have it. They are kicking ass. Even Mascaraman is a winner this time around. He must have dug up his inner champion from someone else's grave.
India are on the receiving end of this new English attitude. Supposedly, they too are vying to be the new Australia (world champs+test champs+piss everyone off champs). A poor choice of ambition, considering their bowling attack consists of a staggering nobody.
But wait, who makes up England's bowling attack? James Anderson...and the obscure one hit wonders.
iLaugh.
India dies.
At the hands of a Barbie doll.
Then we have my countrymen who have attempted to disguise themselves in horrendous orange, lest they fail. I appreciate it, because it shows they are thinking ahead. "In case of yet another embarrassing performance, wear a different coloured uniform. All stones will be diverted to the wrong bus anyway".
Well Bangladesh, here's a line for you: If you try again and again without success, failure may just be your style.
I am beginning to believe that.
How can I end a post without talking about my beloved Proteas. Who you say? I say the same thing. Who are these non-existent, fleeting men in green who only show up for certain periods of the cricket season, and never stay for the climax?
*Insert dirty joke here*
So in a nutshell, this is the era of England and India (not choosing since I can't bear it to be the era of either), Bangladesh will replace Zimbabwe in the number 10th spot and the Proteas are too busy being degenerates.
Nobody loves me.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Nostalgia: Favourite media question
"So Shane/Inzy...how much do you currently weigh?"
Objection! I am just a Tellytubby
And I am pleasantly plump.
But Shane/Inzy, how much do you weigh?
*Walks out*.
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